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To be a bit miffed my DP is planning to visit his family in Europe

(31 Posts)
thinsulation Wed 20-May-20 13:10:20

DP and I live in Scotland, he wants to travel to France this weekend to stay with his family (and enjoy the nice weather) for up to 3 weeks. I’ve been working from home since the start of quarantine (and have limited contact with people as I’m in a risk category) and am a bit upset because if he leaves I’ll be by myself in the house until he returns/quarantine is lifted.

I’ve said that I won’t be going with him because I don’t think it’s right in the current situation, he’s currently making up his mind what he is going to do. I haven’t told him that I’ll be upset if he decides to go, because I don’t know if I’m BU!

OP’s posts: |
Weebitawks Wed 20-May-20 13:11:45

Yeah in your shoes I wouldn't be happy about it his for a number or reasons !

hellsbellsmelons Wed 20-May-20 13:15:34

It does really matter if YABU or not.
Your feelings are valid.
I think you need to tell him how you feel about this.

thinsulation Wed 20-May-20 13:20:48

Thank you both for commenting, it’s helpful having some confirmation my thoughts are reasonable. I will discuss with him this evening, talking about my personal feelings is something I’ve been trying to work on and does usually always help after I’ve done it.

OP’s posts: |
Sn0tnose Wed 20-May-20 13:52:48

So you’re high risk and instead of being at home with you, making sure you’re not isolated and that you don’t have to go to the supermarket if you can’t get home deliveries etc, and he thinks that now is the best time to fuck off to another country for a lengthy holiday, mixing with a load of other people before coming back to your home?

Leaving to one side the entire lack of care for you, does he have somewhere to quarantine for 14 days upon his return? Or is he expecting to just walk through the front door and just keep his fingers crossed he hasn’t brought anything nasty back with him?

I’d say that his priorities are slightly askew.

TheOriginalChatelaine Wed 20-May-20 14:00:38

Please forgive me for going off topic Thinsulation...we have a situation that is becoming pertinent to travel to France. Do you know if elective surgery is being carried out in France? Those necessary operations & dental procedures that are currently unavailable in the UK? E.G. Inguinal Hernia repair, wisdom tooth extraction? I would be very grateful to know .

SpillTheTeaa Wed 20-May-20 14:07:29

He's being very very unfair

hellsbellsmelons Wed 20-May-20 14:24:54

talking about my personal feelings is something I’ve been trying to work on
Please do a lot of work on this.
YOU are the most important person.
What YOU want is very very important.
Your needs should be met as well as you pleasing others.
It will get easier the more you do it.
But definitely let him know how this is making you feel.
And also... Sn0tnose has some very valid points!!

CuriousaboutSamphire Wed 20-May-20 14:27:07

How is he getting there? Travel abroad is still restricted isn't it?

What a very strange decision to make

newtb Wed 20-May-20 14:37:21

Travel only allowed up to 100km in France. Over that needs to be justifiable to the gendarmerie and to have an attestation.

CuriousaboutSamphire Wed 20-May-20 14:38:28

I didn't know the details but did know France had a strict policy.

Pineappleunder Wed 20-May-20 14:42:10

@TheOriginalChatelaine
I went to the dentist for a routine appointment this morning so I would imagine so.
However travel in France is still restricted to under 100km from your home and holidays are not yet allowed.

thinsulation Wed 20-May-20 14:43:10

Sorry TheOriginalChatelaine, I have no idea about what the surgeries are doing in France. All the best though.
And thanks for that Newtb, I have no idea how he’s planning on getting into and then out of France, but he believes he won’t have any issues (and Sod’s law is that he probably won’t!). Thanks everyone. flowers

OP’s posts: |
Jokie Wed 20-May-20 14:46:28

Thinsulation: he'll struggle to get there if his family live more than 100km from the airport and he's not got a "valid reason" to go (e.g. family sickness, urgent matter etc). Friends of mine in France are struggling to move around as it is.

I'm sure it's hard being away from family but he can't get there at the moment safely, so shouldn't go.

BumbleBeee69 Wed 20-May-20 14:59:31

what a Twat... you're right to be anxious OP flowers

vanillandhoney Wed 20-May-20 15:01:16

How is he planning to get into France?

SVRT19674 Wed 20-May-20 15:02:37

Well I hope it isnt like in Spain because he could lose the money for the flight. Smartasses travelling with no valid reason within the country stopped at an airport arrivals and sent back where they came from when they couldnt justify the trip. Serve them right.

HappyHammy Wed 20-May-20 15:04:17

How will he get there and back and where would he stay.

chrislilleyswig Wed 20-May-20 15:05:46

It's not essential travel.

Of course he shouldn't go

cooperage Wed 20-May-20 15:06:43

He'd need to prove valid and imperative reasons for travelling to France I think (with a form, naturally). The border police are true jobsworths too so I'd be surprised if he was merrily waved through on a non-urgent visit to family.

HappyHammy Wed 20-May-20 15:10:48

uk.ambafrance.org/COVID-19-declaration-for-international-travel

CocoR Wed 20-May-20 15:14:53

I'd be pissed off but only because I'd be jealous of not going too.

Will he even be allowed to travel? I'm guessing he can't fly.

Apolloanddaphne Wed 20-May-20 15:44:02

I don't think he will be able to do this but I can see you would be cross that he is even considering it.

KitchenConfidential Wed 20-May-20 15:47:24

Yeah. He’s a selfish twat on many levels.

KitchenConfidential Wed 20-May-20 15:51:45

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/france/staying-during-coronavirus

In particular:
Border controls
Since 20 March 2020 entry to France has been limited to those transiting through France, returning French nationals and residents, and a small number of essential travel categories. The full list of categories are found on the international ‘attestation’ available in English. This document needs to be produced for entry, along with any supporting paperwork. If you are entering or transiting through France, you need to have:

an international attestation
a travel declaration to certify your reason for travel if your primary residence is more than 100km from your point of entry
a travel certificate to travel in Île-de-France (Greater Paris) on public transport at peak hours (from 06h30 to 09h30 and from 16h00 to 19h00)
Border checks are also in place on the borders with Italy, Spain, Belgium and Germany.

Certificate requirements for travel within France
If you are returning to your primary residence in France and it is more than 100km from your point of entry, you will need to travel back by the most direct route and complete a travel declaration to certify your reason for travel. This certificate can be downloaded onto smartphones or handwritten if you are unable to access a printer.

If you are currently resident in France, travel within your department of residence or up to 100km from your place of residence is permitted without restrictions. Travel beyond 100km from your place of residence is only permitted for the urgent professional or family reasons listed on the travel declaration. You will need to complete a travel declaration to certify your reason for travelling. This certificate can be downloaded onto smartphones or handwritten if you are unable to access a printer.

To travel in Île-de-France (Greater Paris) on public transport at peak hours (from 06h30 to 09h30 and from 16h00 to 19h00) you will need to complete a travel certificate from your employer to certify your reason for travel. If you are not travelling for work, you will need to self-certify that you are travelling for one of the compelling reasons listed on the certification.

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