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To think that people seem to have forgotten that we are human beings

(110 Posts)
AlternativePerspective Wed 20-May-20 12:05:47

Obviously the lockdown was necessary to slow the virus.

But it seems that now people have lost all perspective and have lost all sense of humanity. Someone says they’re missing their partner,and the response is that they’re just going to have to live with it because “people are dying.”

Someone hasn’t seen their family because they live some way away and are told that they should be grateful they’re not in ICU.

Someone does see their family briefly and they’re told that they’re essentially killing people.

Today I saw a recommendation from someone that all long distance travel should be banned for the foreseeable,but this fails to take into account the families that have been separated by this and the impact it has on their wellbeing’s and relationships.

This isn’t about the doomsayers, we’ve had quite enough threads on those.

But it does seem that people seem to expect that all feelings and emotions should be put aside indefinitely and that you’re somehow unreasonable to want to live any semblance of a human life again.

parietal Wed 20-May-20 12:12:05

I agree that the lack of human contact and family contact is cruel

we have to get a test & trace system in place. then it will be possible to open things up and allow small group gatherings (e.g. 10 people in a room) which would allow this family contact.

if the government got a move on (which it should have done months ago), we could have this set up and move on to find a way we can live with the virus, at least for a bit.

IsabelleSE19 Wed 20-May-20 12:16:12

I completely agree OP. I feel so low today, with nothing to look forward to. I'm sick of homeschooling and the whole thing. My family live too far away to see under the guidelines, our holiday is gone and there's no end in sight. I hate it.

Bunnymumy Wed 20-May-20 12:17:05

I'm a human so I have a brain. As a higher thinking being than ...most animals xD ...my brain controls my choices, not my emotions. I dont need the government to babysit me or sugar coat things. And it doesnt matter how difficult it is for me to break from my normal routine, I am happy to do it if it may save lives.

But yes, some people are selfish little snowflakes. Without the brains they were born with.

SleepingStandingUp Wed 20-May-20 12:27:36

But yes, some people are selfish little snowflakes. Without the brains they were born with.
And what exactly makes someone a snowflake in these situations op? You might be OK shielding for months on end whilst living alone so essentially having no contact from the outside world for months on end. You might be OK not seeing your parent one last time because they have a terminal illness. You might be OK homeschooling 3 kids whilst wfh full time. But that doesn't mean everyone has to be or that we should all suppress out emotions and pretend we don't care about our children crying themselves to sleep because they miss their grandparents or are worried about school or our businesses going down the pan and taking all our security with it. Not everyone steuggling is running around shamelessly breaking all the rules

Peggysgettingcrazy Wed 20-May-20 12:29:51

Bunnymumy proved your point! So definitely not bu.

Peggysgettingcrazy Wed 20-May-20 12:30:47

I dont need the government to babysit me or sugar coat things.

Then why the lockdown? That the ultimate babysitting of the whole country.

sweeneytoddsrazor Wed 20-May-20 12:33:09

* some people are selfish little snowflakes. Without the brains they were born with.*

And some people are sanctimonious twats.

ScarfLadysBag Wed 20-May-20 12:33:17

I think it's just that some people have absolutely relished the doom and gloom. You see on here posters with barely disguised glee - it's been like this for months. And they love appointing themselves as some sort of moral overlords while they rub their hands in delight at the thought of second waves and rising R rates etc. People who genuinely care about other people know that Covid is not the only risk to the health and well-being of this country.

Redcherries Wed 20-May-20 12:39:41

I've stopped coming on here much, I'm shielded and sick of seeing how we should suck it up as its for our own protection, or that its a choice.

Yup, its a choice to follow shielding, but being told how high your chances are of dying, or using up a hospital bed when you should have stayed home shielding isn't really the greatest of choices.

Shielding is sodding hard, and I'm lucky enough to have a garden and plenty of support. I have awful days, the feeling of claustrophobia and not seeing any of the world is bloody intense. I don't want to suck it up, I want to be able to moan about it, to have bad days and good and maybe feel less guilty for feeling how I do because its for 'my own good.' Going to the dentist is for your own good but if people moan about it they get sympathy.

Lynda07 Wed 20-May-20 12:47:51

Bless you. I too am 'shielding' I suppose, because I am over 70 but quite honestly there isn't much wrong with me as far as I know.

Nobody 'shields' without a good reason and it is terribly difficult for many. My heart goes out to them.

We are human beings with emotions; I've seen changes in people (not 'seen' close up by am in contact), who were OK at the beginning and now feeling lost, desperate, prey to conspiracies, etc. That is all natural.
This time is particularly difficult for those with young children, without a garden, worried about money, sick with illnesses other than 'the virus', including mental health problems.

Let us all be kind and try to give support where we can. There are many things we can do locally from behind our computers but in the meantime, tolerance is important.

My wish is that we can exercise patience with those who sometimes show a bit of natural, human emotion. This situation is something most of us have never experienced - in my lifetime, Sars and ebola did not have such an impact, my life went on as normal then - it is quite unique.

We will get through but we have to walk alongside others even if only at a distance.

Boudicabooandbulldogs Wed 20-May-20 12:50:02

I agree, I have watched in supermarket queues where women with children have been tutted at and occasionally shouted at. I have had patients on the phone crying because their adult child won’t bring their DGC to see them in case they die. Many of my patients are terminally ill and have months to live. I’m beginning to wonder what it is that separates the group that are willing to offer humans some compassion and the ability to risk asses within the guidelines, and the other for whom the worst case scenario is the only scenario possible. The glee with which some people have embraced the lockdown and the way they want to police others is concerning.
I wonder if in years to come some psychologists will do some research on this.

HelloMissus Wed 20-May-20 12:51:16

I think the lock down has given some people a feeling of huge self importance - look at me, I’m actually saving lives, when all they’re doing is what they were doing pretty much anyway.

Highonpotandused Wed 20-May-20 12:52:57

YANBU. I’m wondering if all the people saying these things are surrounded by their family. I have my family but I know colleagues that are living alone are really struggling. One colleague puts in a video call with me just to be able to have a human connection ☹️

Khione Wed 20-May-20 12:53:56

@Bunnymumy Wed 20-May-20 12:17:05
I'm a human so I have a brain. As a higher thinking being than ...most animals xD ...my brain controls my choices, not my emotions. I don't need the government to babysit me or sugar coat things. And it doesn't matter how difficult it is for me to break from my normal routine, I am happy to do it if it may save lives.

So staying apart this week will save lives but after June 2 it won't.

Meeting one person in public will save lives but meeting two or meeting in the garden won't

I'm happy to do things that will save lives - I'm pretty sure the virus doesn't differentiate between gardens and public places and I'm perfectly capable of wiping things down if a visitor uses the loo.

LolaSmiles Wed 20-May-20 13:02:48

Some people are arseholes and will be arseholes when lockdown ends as well.

I've got family who haven't met my new baby and it really hurts. I've also had some medical care put on hold indefinitely.

I think the government should have done a proper lockdown in a timely manner, done it properly and then clearly started relaxing restrictions. What we actually got was a delayed response that borders on negligence, vague and contradictory guidance, ministers who can't even do a press conference without contradicting their own advice and it's bringing out a horrible mix of twats who think 'im alright so I'll do what I like', sanctimonious ones who love wallowing in their righteousness and misery, and a lot of normal people who are concerned and trying to do the right thing but it's hard to know what the right thing is given the guidelines are increasingly illogical.

Matalan is now opening its stores because homewares have been considered essential. Obviously some throw cushions and new duvets are the height of essential and it's not at all a way to justify opening what is essentially a clothes shop.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Wed 20-May-20 13:10:36

What Redcherries said.

The doom mongers, who take such glee in winding everyone up and telling us how it’s going to be like this for ever. Those who tell older people that they’ve had their lives and should be sacrificed for younger ones. It’s horrible to think that people believe that you’re expendable.

I want to moan about it too and not feel guilty that I am. But most of all, I want to see my family, have a cuppa with friends and do a bit of shopping that’s not online.

AlternativePerspective Wed 20-May-20 13:11:27

I’m shielding as well and both my DP and family live hundreds of miles away. I haven’t seen them since March and don’t anticipate seeing them for the rest of the year. And yet I have actually seen people on here suggest that those who are shielding who choose to go out are selfish because they know they will likely need a hospital bed and that’s depriving someone else who had no choice of it.

I agree re the gleeful attitude of some people. It’s hideous.

WhateverHappenedToMe Wed 20-May-20 13:13:22

I think there needs to be a balance and some understanding on both sides. Personally I get a bit upset at the people complaining that they haven't seen their family for eight weeks (although I wouldn't normally comment in it) because I haven't seen any of mine for over a year. I was supposed to be meeting my brother, who lives overseas, next month but obviously that's not happening now - perhaps next summer?

It's frustrating to be without what you normally have, but it's also frustrating to be reminded of what other people normally have and you don't.

Xenia Wed 20-May-20 13:16:00

It has brought out the worst in some people. Instead we need to cut other people some slack and ideally get on with getting out of lock down as soon as we can. I think we should allow weddings and baptism if only say 10 people are present and at a distance for a start. That would cheer some people up.

Redcherries Wed 20-May-20 13:16:08

@Lynda07 Have an unmumsnetty hug. I may be having a bad day ;) not sure if it came across in my grumpy sulky post.

Like you I don't feel at all vulnerable, I'm not ill, I'm under 40 (only just) so its pretty hard to get your head around. I feel so much for those shielding in worse circumstances than me, I've been a little vocal about it on my FB but the lack of response is astounding, so much confusion and so little initial support, I am OK, I've managed throughout but so many haven't.

It will be interesting to see what advice (if any!) we will get at the end of June, or if they'll just quietly add another 2 weeks or more like they did previously, not mentioned in the press conference, just added on the gov site.

I think I'm extra salty today as my husband has gone to a site meeting with a client who is becoming a good friend and I would have loved to have seen him. we'd normally go for dinner or have a few drinks after.

I'll suck it up though, not being even able to say hello from a distance is for my own good.

LastTrainEast Wed 20-May-20 13:25:39

AlternativePerspective people just get tired of hearing "but i wanna!" on thread after thread so the responses get shorter and sharper. You'd probably find the early ones were friendlier.

Everyone is fed up with the situation so the ones moaning loudly get less sympathy as time goes on. They all begin to sound like "yes, but I'm suffering more than you"

Shieldmaiden01 Wed 20-May-20 13:28:58

YANBU

LastTrainEast Wed 20-May-20 13:29:34

I think we need to discount say 10% of anything anyone says for now. Otherwise a lot of friendships will be over when this is done.

AlternativePerspective Wed 20-May-20 13:33:37

@ WhateverHappenedToMe but why haven’t you seen your family for over a year? Given we didn’t go into lockdown until March there were ten months before that when you didn’t see them,, why not?

i think we all realise that others don’t have what we have and vice versa,but that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be entitled to their own feelings.

For anyone who is shielding it doesn’t only mean not seeing family due to where they live,it means not seeing anyone for the foreseeable future.

I wouldn’t have seen my family even if they’d lived close by, but now I have no idea when I will see them or in fact when I will see my DP as he lives over 100 miles away.

Some people are suggesting that the shielded should stay home until a vaccine is found,and seem to think that anyone not wanting to is being unreasonable.

But just because someone is shielding doesn’t mean they don’t have the same needs others do.

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