Advanced search

AIBU to not be able to cope anymore.

(18 Posts)
Spanglebangle Wed 20-May-20 02:10:53

I have just recovered from a nasty gallstone attack, my 7th attack in 4 weeks. I cannot take the pain anymore, it is just unbearable.

I am waiting for an MRI so I can have the operation to have my gallbladder removed. I have been waiting almost 4 months, unfortunately no clinics or MRI appointments are taking place because of coronavirus, so I have to wait indefinitely.

I have been given strong painkillers which worked the one time I took them. The problem with the painkillers is that when I have taken them I cannot feed my baby and even though I have a freezer full of breast milk he just won't take a bottle. He gets all panicky and takes in loads of air and is sick.

So my choice when an attack starts is crippling agony or starve my baby. It sounds melodramatic but that is how it feels. So when it started this evening I found myself sat (scrunched in a ball) with all the pills I had been prescribed and thought 'if I take all of these now the pain goes away and I'll never be in pain again'. Luckily my baby fidgeted in his crib and I snapped out of it and just started crying. I can't believe I was thinking that, that I could even consider leaving my baby without a mother but the pain is so bad I just can't cope.

I will ring the GP in the morning but I have no idea what to say to them. I know there is nothing they can do because I have tried them before.

Sorry that was long.

OP’s posts: |
Euclid Wed 20-May-20 02:13:25

Ask your health visitor how to train your baby to take a bottle.

Spanglebangle Wed 20-May-20 02:16:32

That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of the health visitor because I only met her once before lockdown. I am sure she wrote her number for me in the red book. I will try her tomorrow, thank you.

OP’s posts: |
Spanglebangle Wed 20-May-20 09:17:57

I am waiting for the doctor to ring me now.

OP’s posts: |
MiMiMaguire Wed 20-May-20 09:22:46

Have they explained to you the risk of sphincter of oddi disease after gallbladder removal? Worth reading up on if you're not aware of it. I'm not sure if there is any other treatment for gallstones though. I know thats not what you asked, just I've a friend who has this disease now after removal and wishes she knew then what she knows now

MovingTowardsANewPositivity Wed 20-May-20 09:26:03

How old is your baby? My son who wouldn't take a bottle would drink from a doidy cup from quite an early age (obviously you have to hold it for them or it would get quite messy!)

Or could you look up whether there's an alternative medication that you can take that is safe to use whilst breastfeeding? I don't know if there is but worth a try, maybe ask the GP too.

I hope the GP is helpful later and this attack passes soon for you thanks

HTruffle Wed 20-May-20 09:29:13

Do you have a partner or older child who could feed baby from a bottle? They are often more fussy taking a bottle from mum. You could also try the drugs in breast milk information line, they can advise on taking medication safe for you and baby.

houseplantlover Wed 20-May-20 09:29:15

What are the painkillers? Contact Wendy at the breastfeeding network, there will be something bf safe you can take

MovingTowardsANewPositivity Wed 20-May-20 09:30:11

I found this that says you can take Buscopan (antispasmodic) while breastfeeding, as well as some painkillers.

HoppingPavlova Wed 20-May-20 09:30:56

Yes, was also going to suggest a sippy cup. Many who won’t take a bottle will get something from a sippy cup. Just beware, many have one way valves to stop spills when being used by toddlers who fling them about and leave them lying around. If it has a valve, make sure it is removed so you get a feee flow without needing a suck.

Nat6999 Wed 20-May-20 09:38:29

Have you asked if you can be referred under NHS choices to your local private hospital? Lots of private hospitals are carrying out routine ops for the NHS at the moment. You get treated like a private patient but the NHS foots the bill, gall bladder surgery comes under treatments done this way, I had mine done under NHS choices years ago, it was great, I went in at lunchtime, went to theatre an hour later, was back on the ward by 3.00pm & was back home in time to watch the soaps. No waiting around for drugs to take home, everything was sorted before I went to theatre.

potter5 Wed 20-May-20 09:43:55

I feel for you. I had my gall bladder out in February. Prior to that I had a few attacks and was hospitalised twice. The pain is unbearable and unless you have had such a pain it is difficult to relate.

Since the op I have had a couple of attacks but that was my fault for having spicy food the night before.

I hope that you can have your op privately as other posters have suggested.


nattynoonoo821 Wed 20-May-20 09:45:59

Ex gallstones here. You have probably tried this but I found the following helped me in my attacks: hot water bottle, drinking hot water to relieve the bloating and some of the pain, peppermint tea, there are a few good yoga poses that help shift some of the wind associated with it. Buscopan a bit, but the main things I found to help is diet. Mine was randomly set off by garlic and onions as well as fatty food and alcohol. And small regular meals helped me too. Hugs I'd rather do labour than gallstones any day of the week x

HauntedGoatFart Wed 20-May-20 09:51:44

Are you absolutely sure the pain meds you have been given are incompatible with feeding? Definitely speak to Wendy at the Drugs in Breast milk service to check and discuss alternatives. there are also factsheets for drugs here.

Longer term, good advice re getting your baby to take a bottle. If they are choking and taking in air, that also suggests too rapid a flow if they are used to sucking harder at the breast. Maybe try a Variflow or Medela Calma teat, or any one designed for breastfed babies that makes them work a little harder for the milk.

cheeseismydownfall Wed 20-May-20 10:11:19

No advice but sympathy. My (stoic) mother had a number of attacks before having her gallbladder removed and the pain so extreme she had to be hospitalised and given morphine. I think some people imagine that it is just bad indegestion, but that is not the reality.

Nat6999 Wed 20-May-20 10:32:02

The only way I could get even remotely comfortable during an attack was kneeling on the stairs with a hot water bottle or on my hands & knees with my bum in the air again with a hot water bottle. I drank gallons of peppermint cordial with soda water, I found if I could burp or be sick, the pain eased off.

PicsInRed Wed 20-May-20 11:09:56

Check the bottle teat hole size.

IIRC, may need smaller for slower flow, easier drinking?


SilverDragonfly1 Wed 20-May-20 11:24:19

That's awful, I'm so sorry. I have gallstones myself and have been in hospital a couple of times getting morphine, but I don't get many attacks and can take tramadol so nowhere near as bad for me.

One thing, you say you were curled into a ball- although it's a natural reaction, it makes the pain even worse. There are a couple of different ways to sit or lie and you can google them, but for me the best way to sit is on a chair or sofa with my arms stretched above my head and leaning backwards slightly- sometimes it wards off an attack entirely and also shortens them. On occasion I can almost feel the blockage suddenly clear.

The best way to lie for me is on my right side (again, counter intuitive), stretched out and with a pillow under my ribs so pressure is taken off the gall bladder area. Like the sitting, it lets the gall bladder work on moving the blockage without being squished by the rest of your organs.

Good luck, I hope you can be seen and treated very soon.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »