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AIBU?

To ask about new neighbours

63 replies

hotstepper4 · 19/05/2020 10:42

I found out yesterday that the house next to me has been let.

I've had a history of bad neighbours including a lady whose dogs barked 16 hours a day and I nearly had a breakdown.

Since lockdown, I like everyone else is spending every day at home and I'm horribly anxious about who might move in.

WIBU to call the letting agent (same as my letting agent) and ask them a bit about the new neighbour? Whether it's a couple/family etc?

Please be kind I appreciate I sound a little batshit but I feel really on edge right now

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UnfinishedSymphon · 19/05/2020 10:43

Just wait and see instead of pre-judging

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Terralee · 19/05/2020 10:43

I personally wouldn't call the letting agent, just wait & see, but I do understand how you feel.

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Laaalaaaa · 19/05/2020 10:46

Without being harsh - it’s absolutely none of your business. Unfortunately none of us can dictate who moves in next door to us.

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Seeline · 19/05/2020 10:47

But if they tell you it's a family or a couple, you won't know any more.

The agents are unlikely to give any more detail than that, so will you be any better off?

Just wait and see.

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hotstepper4 · 19/05/2020 10:48

I appreciate it's none of my business I just feel that if I knew whether it was a family with young kids/teens or a couple I'd feel better prepared for what might be coming. I know I sound mad. I'm dealing with a lot of health related stuff right now and between that and lockdown everything is magnified

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steff13 · 19/05/2020 10:50

I would think they wouldn't tell you anything, as it's not really your business. I hope they're good neighbors.

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pictish · 19/05/2020 10:52

Sorry you’re feeling anxious. You really can’t phone and ask this. They are unlikely to tell you anything anyway.
Hope they are ok.

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xyzandabc · 19/05/2020 10:56

Just wait and see. Whether you know now or not, isn't going change who they are or how they behave.

What it may well do is make you build up in your mind what you think they are going to be like. Which may be way off the mark and make you think you dislike them before they even move in. Nothing the agent can tell you is going to actually let you know what they will be like.

Even if the agent could tell you (which they won't) they are called Jane and John Smith, in their 50s, 1 adult child living at home, 1 dog, 2 cats. It's really not going to help you. They could be lovely, they could be awful, you still won't know any more than you do now.

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hotstepper4 · 19/05/2020 10:59

Xyz you speak a lot of sense. Thank you.

You're right I am building them up in my mind to be terrible. I have experienced a lot of bad luck in my life and it's given me the assumption that everything that will happen to me in the future will be bad.

You are right, nothing will change who it is anyway and I need to try my hardest to keep an open mind. Thank you.

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Herecomestreble1 · 19/05/2020 10:59

They won't be able to tell you anything I'm afraid, and to be horribly honest, it's not really any of your business sadly. I do sympathise OP, our old neighbours used to absolutely scream at each other, they were always either fighting or the opposite! Our new neighbours are a very sweet young family with a little boy, though we have to be careful near our windows as the wife of the family is often in her garden topless when the sun is out and I don't want her to think we're gawping when we're just opening the curtains haha.

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NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 19/05/2020 11:00

Please be kind I appreciate I sound a little batshit but I feel really on edge right now
At least you have self-awareness. Grin

Seriously though, I don't think the letting agent would tell you anyway. Wouldn't it go against GDPR? I would just wait and see and try not to worry. Worrying about it won't solve anything. These new ones could turn out to be the type of neighbours you've always wanted.

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zingally · 19/05/2020 11:01

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious, but honestly, this won't help. And it's highly unlikely the agency will be able to tell you anything.

Although, when the newbies do turn up, I'd make a pointed effort to go over and say hello. Start the relationship on a good footing, so that if/when anything gets annoying, you've at least got some relationship to work with, before you start complaining. You're also more likely to get a decent response.

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NiteFlights · 19/05/2020 11:06

I sympathise OP, I’ve experienced similar. I agree, don’t phone the agents. Whatever they tell you, it won’t stop the anxiety.

Do you experience anxiety generally and do you have any support for it?

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gggrrrargh · 19/05/2020 11:09

It could be a family who are really quiet though or a couple who play loud music all night or vice versa - it won’t tell you anything if you did call.

When I was renting a house I got on well with my retired next door neighbour and used to water her plants if needed etc - she mentioned to me once that when she first saw I was a single mum of a 1 year old it was like her worst nightmare neighbour. I was a bit offended/unimpressed by the massive generalisation but let it pass!

I’ll keep my fingers crossed you get a fabulous neighbour Smile

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mouse70 · 19/05/2020 11:10

Non of your business. You can not influence who moves in.

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LolaDarkdestroyer · 19/05/2020 11:14

Buy a detached in the middle of no where problem solved. But I do seriously understand though ringing the agents will achieve nothing! They are hardly going to say "oh yes they are a bunch of loud weed smoking partying chavs enjoy"
They won't tell you shit either way. Sadly you can't pick your neighbours.

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ivykaty44 · 19/05/2020 11:17

Why not get some tea bags and flowers and welcome them to their new home?

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recycledteenager24 · 19/05/2020 11:19

not helpful lola op is obviously anxious about this in these difficult times and feelings are running higher than usual.
hope all goes well for you op, try to think positive as you can, not easy i know. Smile

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hotstepper4 · 19/05/2020 11:19

Yes I do suffer from anxiety which has increased tenfold since all the coronavirus stuff.

Usually I'm an office worker who is out of the house for up to 14 hours a day. Now, I'm working front home and barely leave the house. This is why I am so anxious about these neighbours because if they aren't great I won't even be able to get away.

It's been a tough year. My dnan died, she was my best friend, then as I mentioned I'm having a lot of health issues. Funnily enough, when I get like this I'd usually call my dnan, she always had this way about her that let me see the woods from the trees.

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hotstepper4 · 19/05/2020 11:21

I truly appreciate everyone who has taken the time to reply to me and been kind. You've actually made me a bit tearful but in a good way. Good people are out there, hopefully the neighbours will be some of them

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Ohtherewearethen · 19/05/2020 11:24

I agree that the agents shouldn't tell you anything. They can't give details like that out. It really won't help you to prepare anything as you knowing their age and marital status really doesn't give anything away about what they're like as people

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ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 19/05/2020 11:26

The letting agent can’t tell you anything about the property or who is moving in. I would be raising a Serious eyebrow if they did. Remember OP if they talk to you about other tenants that means they’re talking to other tenants about you. Are you happy for them to do that? Provide people with information about you?

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Majorcollywobble · 19/05/2020 11:28

You’ve had such a bad time recently that this new tenancy is almost the final straw . It’s the not knowing that’s the worst part . Think positive x

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m00rfarm · 19/05/2020 11:36

Prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised :)

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BossAssBitch · 19/05/2020 11:36

I totally understand your anxieties. Bad neighbours are the worst. However, you just need to hope for the best and wait and see. They could be elderly, which doesn't always mean quiet - some elderly folk are hard of hearing and have the TV blaring ! They could be a young couple - this doesn't mean they are going to be party animals, they could be quiet introverts! They could be a family with young children and teenagers and a dog, this still doesn't mean they are going to cause a nuisance, they could be considerate and friendly!

Wait and see and good luck!

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