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Holding baby - Covid

(21 Posts)
MWi1988 Tue 19-May-20 04:41:03

Our baby was born during lockdown and is four weeks old. So far obviously husband and I are the only ones to have held DC. We have seen family members from a safe distance but they are making us feel so guilty regarding holding DC and why we aren’t allowing it yet, as they themselves have been socially distancing/‘isolating’. Would you allow them to hold DC? I know of course with the current guidelines we shouldn’t anyhow but they are questioning when they would be able to as they are desperate. They are guessing social distancing is going to go on until the New Year blah blah and at this rate they won’t get to hold them for ages..

OP’s posts: |
Igotthemheavyboobs Tue 19-May-20 04:46:01

No, my son is 3 weeks old and the only people to have touched him are me, dp and medical staff. Stick to your guns, you have to protect that tiny baby, this is more important than their cuddles. If they don't understand that then they are a bit thick tbh.

Rosebel Tue 19-May-20 05:05:30

It's up to you but if they have been totally self isolating I might allow it. I would insist on proper self isolating though not just them saying I'm self isolating but have been shopping. Anyone who wasn't self isolating the answer would be no.

Sunshinesweet123 Tue 19-May-20 05:11:53

My baby’s two weeks old and I’m not risking it, I could never forgive myself. Also my worry is someone’s safe/social distanced could be a completely different from my version. My midwife said keep him away from people for as long as possible as it’s the people who are going to the supermarkets that are getting it in the community. It’s hard but don’t give in to other people’s pressures. This is my second Baby and even before lockdown people seemed more disinterested in this pregnancy than they did the first and the visits soon die off sometimes it’s just the novelty of a new baby which isn’t worth risking their health for x

Yeahnahmum Tue 19-May-20 05:16:14

No no and no
And also no
Just say no
Don't let them guilt trip you into it.
A new born baby with hardly working an immune system. What if they are carrying it without knowing themselves
And you let them near your newly born baby....

No. Just say no and be very clear bout it

Pixxie7 Tue 19-May-20 05:23:19

Absolutely not, they are not thinking of you or your baby but she themselves.

Malysh Tue 19-May-20 05:24:50

Mmh well whatever you feel comfortable with obviously. For what it's worth, when my son is born I'll let my colleagues touch him (I say colleagues but they're also the people who've stuck by me when I'm alone in thid country, who've done my shopping so I didn't have to lift heavy things, and generally who've helped and supported me more than my own family).

They've had limited social contact (shopping, work in mostly empty offices). That doesn't bother me.

arianwe Tue 19-May-20 05:29:57

I think go with your gut on this one. It sounds like you aren't comfortable with it so stick with saying no if that's the case.

My little girl is 7 weeks old and has met my Mum once recently as I was getting worried this might go on forever. She had been self isolating and we also live in a town that has had less than 40 cases, and it felt like the right thing for me.

Definitely go with your gut.

ABCrafty Tue 19-May-20 05:45:34

I'm due to become a "Yanny" (grandma) for the first time in 7 weeks - and I feel so low but it's temporary, and I will still be able to see him at social distance, and we will take short walks ...... I know it's worse for my daughter and her partner so I because I love them all so much won't be having that first newborn cuddle, but I will be facetiming him so that he can hear my voice at bedtime and I will make up for it!!! Keep strong, and I'm sure they will understand - we had a socially distant "Hug Fest" a couple of weeks ago, I made a "Hug Chart" - each member of our family can be given a hug token to be collected when we can safely ....... you have to earn one by being kind..... we're gonna be hugging for months!! smile.... we've all got over 150 to collect!!

Rememberallball Tue 19-May-20 05:48:49

My take on this is - they say they’re socially distancing/isolating but they’re wanting to hold your newborn - how many other situations have they possibly said the same to get their own way? Can they guarantee the people they’ve been with at other time’s are as careful about social distancing as you are? Especially if that might involve spending time with children/babies who may well have it but be asymptomatic.

As for saying they’ve been isolating (and this is my little rant) how can they been if they’re also practicing social distancing? Isolating means staying home, not shopping, not meeting up with others in a park etc (even at 2m distancing) they really cannot be doing both!! Isolation is hard - I’ve been doing it for 9 weeks now - not left my house in that time; only people I’ve seen other than my husband and baby sons have been delivering things such as shopping, parcels or prescriptions - and I’ve been a whole room away from the door as my DH has been gatekeeper of our home!! I’d love to go for a daily walk or to the park to sit at a safe distance from my friends or family but that’s not what is advised so I live with it!!

JazzyTheDog Tue 19-May-20 06:00:35

If you are in the UK no way would I be letting them hold your newborn, very risky.

Bowerbird5 Tue 19-May-20 06:21:33

No way. How would you feel if that beautiful baby caught it.

They might have been isolating but has anyone nipped to a shop, had 🚚 deliveries or a friend call. Your baby is too precious. Please don’t do it. Take lots of photos.

MoorGirl Tue 19-May-20 07:01:07

My baby is 4 weeks today. In the last week we have allowed grandparents to visit.
All things considered this is the best decision for us.

Sweetiepye Tue 19-May-20 07:08:57

Baby (and you) come first. It really is as simple as that and anyone who tries to pressurise otherwise is not worth bothering about. Stick to your guns, clearly say no, and do what is best for your little family!

HelloDulling Tue 19-May-20 07:12:49

If they have actually been self isolating, have not left the house at all for two weeks, have had no one even to the door, they you could let them, if you want to.

Esspee Tue 19-May-20 07:38:25

Please don’t allow yourself to be bullied into this. If they were concerned about the welfare of your baby rather than their own selfish desires they wouldn’t even ask to hold your baby.

Ilovecats23 Tue 19-May-20 08:13:03

At the moment I wouldn’t, I’m not due until August but if things are still the way they are now then I would not be happy letting anyone hold my DS. And the simple fact they’ve left the house to come and see you shows they haven’t fully isolated and could actually have contracted COVID. A newborn is classed as vulnerable and they’re being incredibly selfish in trying to pressure you into letting them hold him!

Humma1995 Tue 19-May-20 08:24:14

My DD is 8 month and I even now will not let anyone touch he, so no don't think your over reacting at all.

Nottherealslimshady Tue 19-May-20 08:26:52

Nope!
If they cared about the baby so much they would risk their health. They're being selfish. Can you imagine if they gave it to your baby? Not worth the risk.

OhArsebags Tue 19-May-20 09:28:20

Don’t let them guilt trip you. It’s a no. It’s not worth the risk.

FWIW I’m due at the end of August. No one will be coming near my baby (I don’t have visitors, family or not for 6 weeks anyway at the best of times as I hate to see tiny babies being passed around).

I’m already getting family tell me it will be over by August and that I’m being selfish.

As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t going anywhere soon so it’s tough shit. They’ve had their own babies, there’s no reason for them to rush to crowd round mine (yes that might be selfish if we didn’t have covid around but it’s my baby I can do what I like).

Whydoireadthis Mon 15-Jun-20 08:54:00

I asked whether I should and the replies were pretty much the same, but I’ve done it anyway. I thought about it long and hard before baby came and I figured the chance of baby catching covid and becoming seriously ill was far lower than me becoming mentally ill at the prospect of not seeing anybody for potentially months. Grandparents have been careful and so have our siblings, that’s all I can ask. They’ve been allowed cuddles but no kissing or getting too close to the face. I don’t feel bad for letting my baby meet their family. All my friends are desperate for a cuddle but they know why it’s family first. The way things are going, even if the government advice is that it’s safe, the virus is still here and could be for years!

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