Name changed for this as potentially outing! This may be a long one!
DM has always been controlling. I honestly don’t think she realises she does it but it is there all the time. When DS was born she was all over him and looked after him a number of times when he got to 4mo till 5mo when I was doing KIT days or myself and DH needed to go shopping. She was fine to start with but towards the end DS used to cry if we left him. She said it upset her too much and she couldn’t look after him anymore.
I was supposed to go back to work when DS was 7mo. We had a nursery chosen (paid deposit) and DH would look after one day a week whilst working from home and Mil and Fil another day. I explained this to DM when she asked and she flipped out saying how dare I say she can’t look after her grandchild but parents in law can. I calmly explained that as she had said she couldn’t look after DS I hadn’t thought to ask again but Mil and Fil had offered. She didn’t speak to me for a week and when she did she said I’m an awful mum for leaving my child that young and I would be responsible for anything that went wrong etc and how could I abandon him. I was suffering with anxiety at the time so I said to work I couldn’t come back and cancelled the nursery place.
Fast forward and I have a job interview coming up in 3 weeks time. It is an amazing opportunity for me if I get it and would help is financially. I spoke to DM and she said that she would like to discuss the possibility of looking after DS FT and leaving her job. We spoke about it and I spoke to DH and agreed that it would be much appreciated. 2 weeks later she decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore. I was a bit fucked off as it had been the reason I’d applied so early to the position but got over it. We found a couple of childminders online who look lovely (obviously cannot meet them in real life yet) and again DH and parents in law offered to do a day each. DM also says she may be able to do half a day (no good to us at all but we went along with it). I’ve explained this to her again about possible arrangements and once again she’s flipped that how can I say that my parents in law are better than her etc and how could I leave my child he will be heartbroken etc.
I’m so upset. I don’t know what to do about the job interview as I don’t want to let my child down but I do want to be able to give him a much much more comfortable life financially.
I know I may not even get the job so all this worrying will be for nothing but you never know!
AIBU to do the interview and potentially get the job?
AIBU?
DM and work
silverliningclouds · 18/05/2020 11:33
Go for the job interview and ignore your DM, who is being wildly unreasonable. You have great solutions which don’t involve her at all, so press on with them and if she sulks just tell her you aren’t willing to discuss it.
Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be grand 
I would go very low contact if I was you. Im no contact with my mother now and I've never looked back but I appreciate that isnt for everyone (and she had zero redeeming qualities) but I remember the awful feeling of being in these kind of situations. Ignore her, go for the job and let her continue her nonsense herself. She will either realise its getting her nowhere and start acting like an adult or not but either way the problem is NOT yours. Good luck in the interview 
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