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To walk away from this relationship

(39 Posts)
Yayaayay12 Sun 17-May-20 22:28:21

Just a littlest warning I hope this post does not sound bragging only I was asking for a friends advice and she told me I needed to stop bragging about my relationship.

So I live abroad but in Europe (I don't want to say where or give away too many details because I dont want to expose myself) . I have been in a relationship with this man for almost 5 months now . We have spent lockdown together with my son who is only 3 and he has been great . Genuinely he is so great with my son and just seems to be quite perfect (yes I know no-one is perfect but we just seem really great for each other)

Everything is going great except I just can't stop worrying about his job . He is a politician and in the public eye . I've made it very clear from the off that I don't want to be in the public eye and he has acknowledged this and kept me off all sociamedia . However it is a lot of effort . A few weeks ago we had a TV crew come to do an interview at the his home and I had to hide in the bedroom for three hours. Right now he is only the equivalent of an MP so not that much public interest in him , only around 20,000 followers on Instagram and twitter etc yet he already receives so much hate and threats (and he I see actually quite popular in his constituency)

It seems like he could be promoted after this is over to a minister position and I just worry about the hate he will invariably receive as a more important member of government . I don't want to my son to be known as the step son of x ne I don't want to be known as the son of x. I am probably overeacting but he is only late twenties and I do worry that if I stay with him he will be much more in the public eye

AIBU to break up with him and avoid the potential media attention Andy the negative impacts it could have on our lives ?

OP’s posts: |
Yayaayay12 Sun 17-May-20 22:30:06

I don't want to be known as the girlfriend / wife of x not son of x lol . Sorry for the typos smile

OP’s posts: |
Pollony Sun 17-May-20 22:31:42

I cant get past the fact you moved your 3 year old son in with a man you can have only been seeing for 3 months at the most. That is bat shit and anything else seems insignificant.

Sadie789 Sun 17-May-20 22:32:59

I could not identify a wife or girlfriend of any MP we have here, or half the MPs themselves for that matter.

You’re either overthinking this, or you aren’t really that into him and looking for a way out... or you have something to hide that you are scared will be dug up by the press.

Majorcollywobble Sun 17-May-20 22:35:44


SusieOwl4 Sun 17-May-20 22:38:56

What would you say if it was the other way round and he used it as an excuse to dump you?

You either love him or you dont.

Sparklingbrook Sun 17-May-20 22:40:41

Do you love him?

Billyeyelash Sun 17-May-20 22:51:24

Relationship of 5 months.
Step Dad to your son
Is this a UK MP? Cannot believe they are stuck somewhere in Europe and not here sorting out the crap... Cannot see a promotion if not here.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 17-May-20 22:51:48

You do sound like you quite like the dramatics - I mean moving in together after dating for 5 months thus introducing your young son to him. I do think generally on the continent the private lives of MPs aren't as salaciously drooled upon like they are in the UK as long as you aren't arriving on the back of a moped with a baguette grin

zscaler Sun 17-May-20 23:11:49

I think you’ve moved way too quickly in moving him in with your son tbh - it’s probably accelerating your feelings about this as a long term relationship when it’s actually incredibly new and you’re still in the ‘getting to know you’ phase.

I would stop living together and take it a lot more slowly. That way you can make long term decisions about your future when you actually know him and have a better sense of whether you want to be with him forever.

Obbydoo Sun 17-May-20 23:20:12

Politicians are famous for one thing - being self serving liars. I can see why you wouldn't want to be recognised, hardly something to be proud of. Your post does indeed sound like you are doing your very best to brag but you're failing massively as you have zero to brag about. Get over yourself.

MaeDanvers Sun 17-May-20 23:23:38

Well the fast moving on thing aside I think if you genuinely don’t think you can cope with him being in the public eye then it’s best to leave it now.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Sun 17-May-20 23:34:44

You've been in a relationship for less than five months and you've moved in with him when you have a three year old? Are you always this irresponsible? I wouldn't be happy to have that decision publicized if the media do take an interest.

Depending on where you're based you may find the media have no interest in what is a very new (and possibly transient) relationship. Some countries can't stop gossiping about politicians' private lives. Others couldn't care less.

borntohula Sun 17-May-20 23:40:05

Good god, people love an opportunity to make a bitchy comment. 😂

Lifeisconfusing Sun 17-May-20 23:42:29

Who cares what people say!! If you love him crack on.

Lifeisconfusing Sun 17-May-20 23:43:37

As in people might know you as .....::::::::::: wife etc

snowybean Sun 17-May-20 23:44:58

I know a few MPs who keep their families totally private, even those that are quite prominent. Can you name a single husband, wife or child of an MP? Most likely no, other than leaders of the parties.

Or Kinnock being married to the former Danish Prime Minister.
Or if you go on I'm a Celebrity (Carol Thatcher).
...Or do a saucy interview for a newspaper (Sally Bercow).

You'll be fine.

stophuggingme Sun 17-May-20 23:50:29

What @Pollony wrote

Absolutely madness.

Ninkanink Sun 17-May-20 23:53:19


borntohula Sun 17-May-20 23:53:48

Insinuation that OP has something to hide
'Get over yourself
Accusing OP of bragging

I guess people are not capable of giving advice without trying to drag people down a little bit at the same time.

Incidentally, a matter of months is too soon to move a child in with a boyfriend but it's been done now. 🤷‍♀️

Lifeisabeach09 Mon 18-May-20 00:20:02

It's early days but if you don't feel you are compatible in terms of your goals then, yes, end it. But I agree with PP that you can still have a private life whilst being the partner of a politician (at least in the UK, things may differ in the country you reside.)

hardboiledeggs Mon 18-May-20 08:52:10

Think it's a bit ridiculous that you moved a man who have been seeing into your home after only 5 months when there is a child there.

dontdisturbmenow Mon 18-May-20 09:02:47

You are perfectly entitled to not want to be in a relationship with someone in the public eye but why start a relationship with him in the first place, let alone move with him?

Hmmmm88 Mon 18-May-20 09:04:15

Be you are glad you posted on here for advice now OP. So much nastiness 🙄

SerenDippitty Mon 18-May-20 09:13:20

A few weeks ago we had a TV crew come to do an interview at the his home and I had to hide in the bedroom for three hours.

This must have been before lockdown? So how soon did you actually move yourself and your son in with him?

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