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To be fucked off with OH?

(159 Posts)
Aibutobefuckedoff Sun 17-May-20 22:22:41

I’m a key worker and OH working from home. We have one DD (2)Our nursery has shut so OH has been managing whilst I’m at work (4 days) but can’t get much work done done chasing after DD. I’ve been trying to accommodate OH’s work- I do dinner and put DD down as soon as I’m home, I do a big shop on the weekend so Oh can work whilst baby naps, you get the idea, but it means I essentially don’t get a break ever.

Today I said I’d go to the shops whilst DD slept so OH could have some time to work as he said he’d been stressed about some important deadlines. As you know there’s no longer such a thing as popping to the shops, it’s a 30 min queue, etc.

I came home and DD was still sleeping. I put everything away and began some cooking. OH brought DD down and she wanted mummy so we had a cuddle and then I went upstairs to tidy up. When I was tidying our bedroom I found one of OH’s hanky’s that he uses for a wank on the ground-he had obsiously had a wank whilst I was out.

So as not to drip feed, we have not been having much sex since DD was born. I just don’t fancy it and it’s been quite painful for me. I’m still BF DD and don’t want touch from anyone right now. And my breasts used to be very sensual and now they are not at all. OH did try it on last night but I was knackered so nothing happened. He has been very patient and Never pressurises me to have sex. And I know he has to do it whilst I’m out and I’m glad he’s not going elsewhere for it. And obviously he was in a completely different space than DD and she was deep asleep so I don’t find it concerning in that way if you see what I mean. But AIBU to be fucked off that I’m standing in the bloody queue at Tesco’s and he having a wank at home? Especially when he is worried about a deadline? Or is it a fair stress releases?

Qwerty543 Sun 17-May-20 22:25:47

So you've hardly had sex in 2 years, he is free to sort himself out whilst you are out, yet he does and you conplain? Is he supposed to get your permission first?

Elieza Sun 17-May-20 22:25:50

I guess he didn’t want you around and was trying to be considerate?

As you say he wanted to have sex with you, unfortunately you can’t just now, he sorted himself out and didn’t go elsewhere or whatever.

Sounds good to me.

raspberryk Sun 17-May-20 22:26:12

Also why does he have to wait till you're out?

zscaler Sun 17-May-20 22:27:32

YANBU to be annoyed at the hanky being left out because it’s something he should deal with privately, but you are being unreasonable to be annoyed about the wank. Masturbation is a perfectly normal, healthy thing to do, and imo it’s polite to do it when there’s no one in the house (or at least no one awake!).

pictish Sun 17-May-20 22:27:51

Yabu. Come on.

Whatisthisfuckery Sun 17-May-20 22:28:40

Lazy sod. If he’d just thrown away his jizz rag you’d never have known.

Sadie789 Sun 17-May-20 22:29:05

Yes you are being unreasonable.

Why does it matter that you’re standing in the queue for Tesco’s while he’s doing it?

I don’t get the issue.

Nicknacky Sun 17-May-20 22:29:07

When would you rather he had a wank? It seemed like the perfect time!

avroroad Sun 17-May-20 22:29:21

That's one hell of a long post to say he had a wank confused

LivingThatLockdownLife Sun 17-May-20 22:29:28

It's not about the wank is it. It's both of you being utterly run ragged by working and ft childcare plus running the house etc.

Having a young DC is hard enough even not in lockdown. In lockdown is a fucking nightmare.

You need to have some more conversation with OH about adjusting the division of labour some more.

I'm talking almost daily with OH to make sure neither of us feels the other is taking the piss.

Bottom line it's a shit situation for both of you. Just talk about it. You're a team. You got this.

Ps. You're allowed a wank too!!

pictish Sun 17-May-20 22:29:30

But yeah he could’ve thrown the bloody tissue away. Ffs.

MorganKitten Sun 17-May-20 22:29:41

YABU, you don’t want to have sex he’ll need a release. And it can be a stress reliever for men.

PolPotNoodle Sun 17-May-20 22:29:57

It won't have taken him that long to do it. I'd rather be at Tesco than solemnly wanking alone as quickly as possible.

JasonPollack Sun 17-May-20 22:30:17

Sorry I think YABU. Except about the wank hanky on the floor envy

It sounds from what I've read like neither of you are getting any free time really? I doubt his wank took very long 😂 See if you can carve out just 20/30 min for a nice bath and some alone time. The urge to blow up with frustration at those closest to us is full on right now. flowers

justanotherneighinparadise Sun 17-May-20 22:31:01

Surely having a wank is a great way to deal with stress. He was doing you a favour!

wildcherries Sun 17-May-20 22:31:56

Masturbation is a perfectly normal, healthy thing to do

This ... and yes, for some people it is a stress release.

Cosyblanky Sun 17-May-20 22:32:06

I think it's fine OP. I was having one yesterday and DP came in when I had duvet in mouth to stop any noise! The hanky is a bit careless. What did he do, wipe himself and drop it on the floor? Wank into it then leave it on the side?

JasonPollack Sun 17-May-20 22:32:14

Solemnly wanking alone

This has really tickled me grin

Sparklfairy Sun 17-May-20 22:33:23

Is wank hanky the new penis beaker? grin

DonnaDarko Sun 17-May-20 22:34:26

Lazy sod. If he’d just thrown away his jizz rag you’d never have known.

Genuinely lol'd at the one.

Sorry OP, I think YABU. DP and I have massively different sex drives, as in he will happily do it daily and I could happily wait a week or two. If I got annoyed at every cheeky wank he had, i'd be annoyed all the time 😂

HollysBush Sun 17-May-20 22:34:56

😂 wank hanky!

Bluntness100 Sun 17-May-20 22:35:52

I’m sorry op can you clarify what sort of trip you should be out on that he’s allowed to have a wank at home, if when you’re out at Tesco It is not an acceptable moment?

Or would you like him to not just be celibate for as long as you deem fit, but also not even to masturbate? He has to loose all sexual urges? Like a priest?

Maybe you could explain to him what sort of trip out you need to be on before he’s allowed to wank, or possibly explain to him that even that is banned and you would now like him to be completely asexual. Just tell him he doesn’t matter.

JoyceTempleSavage Sun 17-May-20 22:35:55

I think the Wanky was left on purpose

Aquamarine1029 Sun 17-May-20 22:36:06

You're being massively unreasonable.

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