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Tinder is just a bag of shit right?

(99 Posts)
Caramara Sun 17-May-20 21:55:38

It's been a long time since I've done dating sites, nearly 10 years but finding myself single recently I thought I might dip my toe back in.

Tinder wasn't a thing back then, I remember POF being rough as, so thought I'd give it a try. How bad could it be?

Jesus.

I've not found one person to swipe right for, I must have looked at 100 or more. Most have no profiles, or 2 words. Or littered with spelling errors. Or they have faces only a mother could love. Sometimes all the above. And the ages...I'm 46, I look 40. No one believes I've got a university age son. I'm seeing guys on there who are 50+ and look 10 years older.

Do I just delete it and give up the whole thing? It feels like a rough night in our local 'Spoons on there at the moment!

OP’s posts: |
Teacaketotty Sun 17-May-20 22:01:24

Tinder is just for casual hookups for the most part - I would avoid if I were you!

EchoElephant Sun 17-May-20 22:04:26

Tinder isn't just for hookups! That's a very out dated viewpoint.
I've had a couple of relationships from it. I know others who have met their partner on Tinder.
You do have to swipe through a lot of bad profiles but there are some good ones on there.

Teacaketotty Sun 17-May-20 22:05:23

@EchoElephant just my opinion ...

Tabithha Sun 17-May-20 22:08:39

Hinge is much better. Try that. I met my current partner on there

FrustratinglyFrustrated Sun 17-May-20 22:09:45

Tinder is shit, Try Bumble, The woman has to message the man first when they match so can take out the smutty -ness of it all. Good luck OP, Dating after a while can be daunting.

JonbonMoany Sun 17-May-20 22:11:49

I met my fiance on tinder. I am looking at my beautiful son thinking about how happy I am. Thank you Tinder!

Caramara Sun 17-May-20 22:15:24

Maybe it's my area? Just swiped another load, ridiculous photos, no profile, and so on. Honestly can't see myself even matching anyone let alone getting a message!

Depressing.

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Rosiejim Sun 17-May-20 22:16:53

I met my DP of 4 years on Tinder. First person I spoke to on there (but we didn’t get together straight away)

There’s a lot of fuck boys on there but I met a lot of men who seemed to genuinely want a relationship.

Caramara Sun 17-May-20 22:23:10

I can't even find anyone to swipe right for. I'm not that fussy I don't think.

OP’s posts: |
Caramara Sun 17-May-20 23:31:44

Based on the recommendation above I have also now signed up for Hinge.

Fuck me, it's tough out there 😱😱😱
If they're not 40 but look 50, they're too short, can't spell or are just grim full stop.

I'm gonna be single a long time at this rate. When my Ex said he was better than the alternatives he wasn't bloody lying 😒

OP’s posts: |
BadLady Sun 17-May-20 23:34:48

"Faces only a mother could love"?

What does that mean?

Rosiejim Sun 17-May-20 23:45:37

@BadLady - it means ugly

Caramara Mon 18-May-20 00:01:46

Yes sorry, or round here we'd say they were not a looker.

I'm not looking for some model type btw, just someone who looks even vaguely attractive.

OP’s posts: |
Sparklfairy Mon 18-May-20 00:10:08

It is tough. My DM and I were both single about 10 years ago, I was on POF. We decided after a glass of wine to check out 'the market' for her grin I was shocked and we spent a lot of time giggling that the various good looking men in their 20s were all doomed to turn into the fat balding men in their 50s that were on offer to my DM grin

Don't write off "short" though. I had a no short guys rule and accidentally agreed to a date with a 5ft5 guy without checking his height. Turned into a relationship and didn't bother me in the end. He was an arse in other ways and is now an ex but his height wasn't an issue and I'm now more open about it.

abstractprojection Mon 18-May-20 00:12:03

I met my partner on there. I think dating and particularly online dating is generally unfair on women as they get older because men don’t tend to look after themselves as well and often want younger women.

However some men don’t photograph well, know what pics to choose or what to write as profile. And it is possible that you’re being a bit picky, is spelling really important?

Caramara Mon 18-May-20 00:28:33

I don't want someone shorter than me. I'm 5ft 6. If they're not at least 5 10 it means never wearing heels. Honestly what I find attractive in men is height, broad shoulders, think rugby player type build. Don't mind if they're a little overweight, hair or no hair. Must have own teeth!

I just can't find men under 5 10 attractive unfortunately.

Spelling is important to me, knowing the difference between two, too and to.. I've seen several profiles tonight where the wrong one has been used. I don't want to be having to educate someone in their 40s. Or having to close my eyes to those kind of errors.

I don't think either is being too picky.

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Sparklfairy Mon 18-May-20 00:43:42

Honestly I'm your height and had exactly the 'no under 5 10' rule too grin Why does it mean never wearing heels? Is that an issue you have with being slightly taller than your date when wearing them, or you think he will? Just wondering. Everyone is entitled to their own 'non negotiables', I just realised one of mine didn't bother me (or him) in the end.

ViciousJackdaw Mon 18-May-20 00:48:35

I understand that spelling is important to you and I don't think you are being picky but (and it's a big but) how would you feel if you started chatting to a decent man and he said 'Grammar is important to me'?

Caramara Mon 18-May-20 01:02:26

I've dated shorter men when I was younger and they all didn't like me being taller than them in heels. And tbh I didn't find them that attractive, just like tall really slim men don't do it for me either. By the same token I know my physical shape, looks and hair colour won't appeal to every bloke either.

OP’s posts: |
Caramara Mon 18-May-20 01:10:37

If a guy said grammar was important, I'd think I'd hit the jackpot!

If it wasn't important to him but his grammar was ok, I'd still be happy. I'm not a total pedant. Just couldn't cope with someone who uses your instead of you're. Or spells queue que.

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VanGoghsDog Mon 18-May-20 01:20:05

But your grammar isn't very good?

MandalaYogaTapestry Mon 18-May-20 01:30:43

OP I understand completely what you mean. Height is a must and I don't care if others would tell me about many lovely men who are shorter. I am sure they are lovely, just not ones for me in the romantic sense. Same with grammar. Cannot abide poor spelling. These are valid expectations, do not lower your bar.

vbhafjlb Mon 18-May-20 01:30:50

Tinder is a two way street. Maybe the men you’re attracted to just aren’t swiping right on your profile.

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 18-May-20 01:32:21

@vangoghsdog

You’ve just ended a statement with a question mark!

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