I know it's not an AIBU and I am posting for traffic, apologies! But I feel so alone and I wanted to reach as many as possible to see if anyone has been through this?
I have a condition which causes recurrent miscarriage. So far I've had over 10 and I'm really struggling after the last one where we got the furthest we ever had and thought everything was going to be okay finally.
I've been going to counselling (well I was before lockdown, I'm desperate to go back ) and one of the biggest triggers for my anxiety/depression is the fact that my husband already has children.
I absolutely love his kids, they are really fun to be around we have a good relationship but I am so desperate for my own, I can't explain how much and it's really really hard to play happy families when I know they aren't really my children and I don't share that with DH.
It's had me at the point of considering leaving. Even though I love them all, we have such a lovely marriage, he is so so supportive and caring. I was in a physically and emotionally abusive long term relationship before him and I never imagined I could find someone who made me so happy but this is infecting all of my thoughts. I wonder if I'd be calmer and less sad with someone who didn't have/want children, I wonder if maybe I could allow myself to forget that way and to focus on other things. I don't know if that makes sense?
I feel so desperately alone. My husband is there for me but he isn't going through what I am in the same way, he isn't facing childlessness. I have honestly never felt so isolated in all of my life. I don't have one single person who just gets it.
I'm not sure how to carry on like this. I just want to know if anyone understands?
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AIBU?
Fertility issues and step children
25 replies
OhFuckityFuckFuck · 16/05/2020 21:29
OP posts:
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