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To tell DH I want him to get his children to start doing chores?

(8 Posts)
ItsTheFuckingTruth Sat 16-May-20 20:54:34

Two DSC, get on really well, no wicked step mother or anything, very friendly and loving relationship however I leave most of the actual parenting to DH which is how I think it's best.

However, one thing thats started to bug me and that I'm considering bringing up is that the children never do anything around the house. Not their fault, they have never been made to do chores at all.

Even things like making their beds, tidying their room, washing a glass if they want a drink etc... And tbh I'm getting a bit fed up of it.

One is just over 10 and the other is fast approaching it.

I think it would be really beneficial for them to start having some regular chores, nothing huge but just something. I was always made to tidy my room, wash a few dishes etc at their ages and I think it's important.

WIBU to tell DH that I want this to start happening? Maybe just something like making their beds in the mornings, helping to wash up on a rota through the week or helping me with making dinner or whatever, not every day but a couple of times.

We are considering ttc and I know I will want to do this with my own children so I think it would be good to start with the DSC too, give them a sense of 'team effort' in the house a bit.

I know that once they hit teenage years, trying to get them to do anything will be difficult so surely it's best to start now?

I guess I just think it's important that children learn to help out every now and then. At the moment they literally do absolutely nothing. They wouldn't even know how to wash a dish.

OP’s posts: |
ItsTheFuckingTruth Sat 16-May-20 20:55:31

Ps they are with us 50/50 and often more than this so it's very much their home.

OP’s posts: |
madcatladyforever Sat 16-May-20 20:58:58

Yes definitely, kids need to learn life isn't onwe long free ride and their father should definitely support you in this.
You are not the house maid. Everyone needs to do their bit.

coronabeer23 Sat 16-May-20 20:59:05

I don’t think you neee to make a big deal of it. I would just start to introduce the idea “right we are all going to make our own beds now” who wants to be first for me to show them what to do. Day 2: ok, right, who can make their bed and be first down for breakfast. Day 3, right, upstairs get dressed and beds Made. “Ok, bed not made, go and do it and then come down” does it need to be DH. I think you can just introduce it into conversations and it becomes the norm without making it a big deal

Ps: you’ll probably get them to do it now, but you’ll be fighting a losing battle at 14

ItsTheFuckingTruth Sat 16-May-20 21:01:28

Thanks. Yeah I definitely don't plan on making it a big deal, I would just like to have DHs support and for him to be mentioning it to them rather than just me so wanted to make sure we're on the same page.

I worry about overstepping though but I have come round to the way of thinking that this is my house as well.

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Windyatthebeach Sat 16-May-20 21:03:27

It isn't overstepping to not want to be a house maid to 2 dc. His /yours /both.
My dc aren't waited on hand and foot...
Sod that!
grin

ItsTheFuckingTruth Sat 16-May-20 21:07:27

Haha thank you.

It probably won't be a huge help, they'll probably make more of a mess washing up! grin but it's more for the sense of 'chipping in' iyswim.

OP’s posts: |
billy1966 Sat 16-May-20 21:10:06

Definitely don't think there is anything wrong with introducing jobs to be done.

Making there own beds, or at least making and effort to is very basic.
As is keeping their rooms tidy.

Does their father do his share around the house?
Or are you the maid of the house to them all?

If it's the latter, have a think, because a baby added into the mix is a lot of work.

flowers

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