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to ask family not to meet baby until 3 months old.

(80 Posts)
MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 07:47:28

I'm due in June, if lockdown is lifted then it will be my decision when family can meet baby.

I've read that babies' immune systems are a lot stronger at 3 months than they are when first born.

Would I be unreasonable to ask family to wait until this point? We would also continue to isolate until that point too.

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Fenlandmountainrescue Sat 16-May-20 07:49:02

The strength of a baby’s immune system is built up by being exposed to germs etc.

MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 07:54:18

@fenlandmountainrescue yes I know this and with my son had no problem with people meeting him. The baby will still be exposed to germs with my son playing with things outside and then playing with baby etc. I'm just wondering specifically with corona if it would be better to wait until 3 months?

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zscaler Sat 16-May-20 07:55:44

You can decide whatever you like about your own baby, but I don’t think your reasoning is sound on this one - the baby’s immune system develops over three months because it encounters new things to react to. Keeping the baby in a sterile bubble at home will likely prolong this process.

You can still decide if that’s what you want, but it’s likely to cause your family a world of hurt for no tangible benefit.

SiaPR Sat 16-May-20 07:55:54

It’s your baby, you can do what you like. I would imagine people will lose interest pretty quickly anyway, so some people may not bother at all.

Waitingforboristoletusfree Sat 16-May-20 07:56:07

I personally would wait. It’s all well and good saying they build their immune system up with germs but they don’t need germ overload!! My son was very unwell in hospital for a week at a few weeks old because of catching a cold from someone. You do what you feel comfortable with

MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 07:56:29

Sorry should have put we will continue to socially distance in op not isolate, as I will take them out to open parks etc.

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Waitingforboristoletusfree Sat 16-May-20 07:57:40

@SiaPR even better, siphons out the people who don’t really care

opticaldelusion Sat 16-May-20 07:59:23

On mumsnet it's completely normal to prevent wider family from meeting a new baby. If they get uppity then they're DISRESPECTING THE WOMB. This mainly applies to MILs who, as everyone knows, are basically baby eaters.

Soontobe60 Sat 16-May-20 07:59:53

If you're happy to go out to parks etc then why not arrange to meet family there at a safe distance? I'm usually a firm believer in close family meeting baby very soon after the birth, but at the moment I'd be much more cautious.
As an aside, who's looking after your other child whilst you give birth?

SnuggyBuggy Sat 16-May-20 08:00:34

Your baby will have the antibodies that cross the placenta and from BF if that's what you choose to do. Does your baby have any health issues that might make them more vulnerable?

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo Sat 16-May-20 08:00:48

I'd be really hurt if the baby was a relative of mine - your family will be excited about meeting the new addition! Coronavirus has little to no effect on babies - don't deny everyone the joy of a new baby!

MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 08:01:30

@soontobe60 yes I think I would feel comfortable with a distanced meeting! Just not a cuddling and kissing one I don't think.

The original plan was for my mum to come and stay but now my husband is going to watch our son.

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DillyDilly Sat 16-May-20 08:02:04

Since there’s no logical reason you don’t want your family meeting your baby for three months (baby not ill), you might find no-one will be particularly interested in meeting the baby at three months.

The cuteness of a newborn will have worn off.

TinySleepThief Sat 16-May-20 08:02:32

Think how you would feel if your child told you in 20 years time that you couldn't meet their baby for 3 months.

Wanting time together as a family is fine but 3 months is pretty excessive. You do you, as long as you dont expect everyone to be all that interested in rushing round when the 3 months are over with presents and new baby cards.

MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 08:02:46

@snuggybuggy no, no extra things identified atm thankfully.

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MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 08:03:56

@TinySleepThief no not expecting any present or cards and understanding this will cause a lot of upset. The close family are all social workers, nurses, police force etc so it just feels like a big risk atm.

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Stingeray Sat 16-May-20 08:04:48

@siapr what do you mean lose interest? That is really sad if you have had that experience with your baby. I'm lucky that our friends and family still absolutely adore DD even though she is no longer a newborn baby!

OP speak to health professionals to see what they recommend and most importantly look at the evidence of what has happened to other tiny babies contracting covid.

NoClarification Sat 16-May-20 08:05:29

Blimey. If I let family meet my 25-weeker when she came out of hospital, still weighing under 2kg, (albeit with some paranoia around handwashing!), I think you could let them see your healthy newborn. I get that the current times require extra precautions, but babies are members of a wider family and community and you do them untold harm by harming those bonds before they have even begun.

Nowisthemonthofmaying Sat 16-May-20 08:05:53

NHS guidelines say you should follow social distancing & self-isolation with a newborn at present so you're perfectly within your rights not to want visitors! I'm in a similar situation and we will be letting close family visit but requesting that they isolate for 10 days in advance (tbf most of them are isolating anyway so this shouldn't be a big issue). I'm more worried about infection risk to my vulnerable parent from us, as we will have had contact with midwives etc, so we may try to isolate ourselves for a couple of weeks entirely before seeing them. It means they won't see the baby for a few weeks but that's better than anyone getting ill! My husband is also shielding so it's a really complicated situation all round confused

Vellum Sat 16-May-20 08:05:59

These replies about how your family will abruptly lose interest if they don’t meet the baby while it’s practically still attached to the placenta always crack me up.

OP, do what you feel is best. No one saw our DS for almost a month, and no one died of thwarted baby-cuddling syndrome.

Navy123 Sat 16-May-20 08:06:48

I've had a baby during lockdown and I am amazed that anyone would CHOOSE to not let people meet their newborn. It is killing me that he is 6 weeks old and hasn't met anyone yet, grandparents are really struggling with it and, as others have rightly pointed out, extended family and friends are totally losing interest and by the time lockdown is lifted to the extent that they would be able to come over for a cuddle he isn't going to be anything like a little newborn.

Also agree with others that it's exposure to germs which builds their immune systems, something else which I am concerned about as lack of exposure leads to increased risks of childhood leukaemia and asthma.

Stingeray Sat 16-May-20 08:06:53

More ridiculous reasoning dillydilly. People wont lose interest in a child just because they didnt get to meet them as a newborn grin grin

NoClarification Sat 16-May-20 08:07:24

And yes - imagine if your future child told you you couldn't hold your newborn grandchild for three months...

MsChatterbox Sat 16-May-20 08:09:22

@nowisthemonthofmaying it's such a hard time isn't it! I think I would feel better if I could ask family to isolate like you are able to but it's just not possible here. When are you due?

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