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Should I move in with him ?

(6 Posts)
Vviane80 Sat 16-May-20 03:16:51

Hi all,

I’m almost 41 and a mother of 1 ( a 5 yo)
It’s been just the 2 of us for years but I reconnected with an old friend of mine last year.
We first met 15 years ago. At the time he had a thing for me but I was not available so nothing happened.
He was very nice, calm, thoughtful and handsome smile

Fast forward last year, we reconnected, we were both single and started dating. Everything is fine and now we’re talking about moving in together
The thing is I’m a bit worried about our past.

During those 15 years I had two committed Relationships and every time the man walked out and got married within 2 years top. My child’s father let me pregnant confused

He on the other hand had two children, from two different women, then had another serious relationship that ended 6 months or so before we started dating
He told me things didn’t work out with mother number 1 because they were too young and both immature.
Mother number 2 wanted to pursue her dreams and took an opportunity to do just that. She went abroad, they tried to make it work but distance took its toll so they split
Last relationship is more complicated to decipher
But bottom line is : they were incompatible

Now I’m a bit scared about taking this to the next level because I wonder if we both are relationship material. Having all these failed RS is not normal, is it ?
Had it been just the 2 of us, I would have made the jump in a blink because I love him
But they are 3 pretty young children involved
Any thoughts ?

OP’s posts: |
ThatsNotMyMeerkat Sat 16-May-20 03:24:16

Sorry OP, it’s not going to be what you want to hear, but it would be mad to move in with him. There are three young children to consider in this upheaval and and at least one of his has already seen their father in a new relationship that hasn’t worked (basing this on there being two different mothers).
Even if you got together January 2019, you’ve been together just over a year. It’s way too soon.

AlCalavicci Sat 16-May-20 03:25:48

How long have you been dating ? unless its over a year I would not consider it yet , it is much better to take things slowly and do it right than rush into it and spoil the relationship and upset the DCs .

Is it possable for one of you to move close to the other so that you can spend time together but have your own home to go back to when you need space

CtrlU Sat 16-May-20 03:28:36

No I wouldn’t consider it...

If he is “the one” then give it another year and then decide. Time always tells

Aquamarine1029 Sat 16-May-20 03:38:57

No, no, no, again no. Neither of you have any clue as to what a healthy relationship is, and one year "together" is not even close to enough time.

What you should be asking is, "Is this in the best interests of my child?"

The answer to that is NO.

Stop repeating the same mistakes. That goes for you and him.

Josette77 Sat 16-May-20 03:42:36

No. You both need to work on yourselves.

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