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AIBU - self isolating for a visit

(10 Posts)
Lizzieee2727 Sat 16-May-20 14:37:52

I took the decision to shield with my dh as I don't want him missing out on being a parent and we don't have the house space to be separated long term. He's also been a huge help with my pnd and knows when I need 5 minutes.
As I mentioned I had a C section and short car journeys were uncomfortable let alone for 5.5 hours (+ multiple stops for baby feeding and out of the carseat).
I just have no idea when we'll be able to meet, her Great Granddad who is nearly 99 is desperate to meet her too and while he's been self isolating (he's not left the house in 2 months) he's still 2 hrs away so still not practical to see him either.

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Sugarplumfairy65 Fri 15-May-20 23:22:05


It really does sound like you’re over reacting a bit. Why didn’t they meet your baby (their granddaughter) in February before all this started??

Do you even understand what shielding means? Of course she's not over reacting
Not supposed to leave the house, no walks, no going anywhere. Having to sleep in separate beds and keep a 2m distance to other people in the house unless they shield with you

mrsbyers Fri 15-May-20 22:44:21

Are you planning on leaving your shielding partner on their own for the trip ? I wouldn’t be planning anything for some time as it’s very likely that he will need to shield for another couple of months

majesticallyawkward Fri 15-May-20 21:38:47

It will be much longer before you can stay at someone else's house or travel to other parts of the country for a visit.

and if you wanted extended family and friends to meet your baby will you insist all of them self isolate for 2 weeks also? That's an unrealistic ask of so many people and if you let anyone who had self isolated meet you, your dh and baby then you'd be putting him at risk anyway.

Lizzieee2727 Fri 15-May-20 21:20:15

The close family have met her when went down at the end of Feb for a weekend and in fact my mum and MIL stayed for a few days each to help me when my husband went back to work. I ended up with a C section and didn't react well to the multiple spinals so was in a lot of pain for a long time. We live at the opposite end of the country (5.5 hours away) so it needs to be a planned trip as opposed to popping round. The siblings have only had brief meetings as they had to work and we still have a lot of friends down south have yet to meet her.
I don't envisage it being for weeks yet, I'm just hoping it won't be too long.

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Throckmorton Fri 15-May-20 20:01:52

Given your husband is very vulnerable, I wouldn't go stay with them at all - it's not worth the risk

BendingSpoons Fri 15-May-20 19:53:16

As your husband is shielding, I think YANBU to be extra cautious. However I wouldn't worry for now. I think it will be a while before this is allowed and you can decide then. Do you think they would tell you the truth if you asked them to stay in for two weeks or would they say 'oh we haven't been anywhere' meaning 'well we only went a few places and nowhere risky'.

NewIdeasToday Fri 15-May-20 19:27:23

It really does sound like you’re over reacting a bit. Why didn’t they meet your baby (their granddaughter) in February before all this started??

Nightmanagerfan Fri 15-May-20 19:25:29

At the moment you shouldn’t be planning to stay at someone else’s home and I can’t see that changing for a while.

It’s so hard for family especially when there’s a small baby they are desperate to meet.

Lizzieee2727 Fri 15-May-20 19:19:34

Context to our situation - we have a 4ish month old daughter (our first) who hasn't met a lot of the wider family yet as I physically and mentally wasn't ready at the start of the year. My husband is one of those shielding as he has severe asthma though ironically it's the best controlled it's ever been and also has a cpap machine for his sleep apnoea, anyway we've been self isolating since the first week of March and I've only left the house twice to take baby for her 12 and 16 week jabs. Despite a miniscule chance of me catching the virus asymptomatically we self isolated within the house for 2 weeks each time just in case.
We're lucky to get online food deliveries, prescriptions, baby stuff etc and everything is cleaned with anti-bac. Yes, we'd LOVE to leave the house but we're trying to do our duty and stay at home.
Our parents back down south have started talking about when we come back down for a visit etc but the absolute earliest would be mid-June as per his letter, though seeing some stories that it might be more likely to be mid/late July. If we go down, would I be unreasonable to insist that they self isolate before we come down to ensure risk would be as low as possible? We'd be staying at my in-laws as they have space for us but MIL has a cavalier approach to lockdown and insists on popping out for wine at waitrose instead of adding to the weekly asda shop we set up for them. My parents are similar...

AIBU - they are their own people
ANBU - they should be able to cope with a couple of weeks.

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