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I am disgusting!

(114 Posts)
IAmLarge Fri 15-May-20 16:47:58

This isn't an AIBU but people seem to get more responses here!

I am extreamly obese. I'm 5 ft2 and weigh nearly 14 stone. I'm so upset every time I look at myself and absolutely hate myself. My body is covered in stretch marks from having a baby nearly 3 years ago and I know that these are here to stay. It's not as though I'm fat because I've been pregnant...It's because I'm greedy, lazy and have no motivation or will power what so ever!

Please can someone give me a bloody good talking to before I ruin my body and my health forever. My OH isnt that supportive of me loosing weight (not in a horrible way but I think he has heard it all before and knows I'll give up, plus he doesn't mind what size I am so even if I lost loads of weight or stayed the same it wouldn't bother him)

I just need a bloody good kick up the arse! Anyone willing to do that for me 🤔

Thanks!

OP’s posts: |
PeppasMuddyPuddles Fri 15-May-20 16:51:00

I think no matter what people say you'll only lose weight when you really want to.

And I say that as someone who has had to lose 3 stone after having dd.

I now love exercising, but if someone had said that 3 years ago I would have laughed at them!

I feel much better, and look much better but realistically the only person who helped achieve that is me.

Good luck, you can do it & you will feel much better for doing it, and that's before we even mention all the heath benefits.

Cloudyapples Fri 15-May-20 16:51:28

Don’t use the word ‘diet’ and don’t do it to be thin/look better. Try to make small lifestyle changes step by step and give yourself a bigger reason and motivation that’s not just about you. Eg ‘I’m doing this to be fitter and healthier so I can be a more active and present parent for my child’

Start with things like taking a walk everyday, keeping a food diary or using my fitness pal to track what you’re eating, drink more water.

nanbread Fri 15-May-20 16:52:37

I think no matter what people say you'll only lose weight when you really want to.

This.

You need to give yourself a kick up the arse, not expect others to do it for you.

Hollylolly28 Fri 15-May-20 16:53:49

Have you ever tried slimming World? When I stick to it I find it works really well and I'm not hungry

CazzaCat Fri 15-May-20 16:58:38

Right here goes!

1. You are NOT disgusting, stop talking about yourself like that, your body is an amazing thing, you’ve grown a whole human!
You need to take a good look at yourself and thank your body for keeping you safe and well. Respect your body and stop thinking of it as just an outer shell to look at.

2. Imagine a life where you’ve lost the weight, the hardest part is starting and forming new habits, you’re only young so you can do this and keep the weight off forever.

3. Look at your relationship with food! What do you eat, how much do you eat? Are you clued up on calories. Most overweight people I know are oblivious to the fat/calories content of food.

4. Be prepared to work hard, but don’t rush with a fad diet, the more normal and healthy your diet the easier it is to maintain and keep off.

5. It’s not about your husband, it’s about you. Change your life, educate yourself and treat it like a new project. Learning to love and invest in your body is a beautiful thing and an exciting journey, there is so much great food out there that’s healthy too.

Good luck if you really want it, you can do it!!

sillysmiles Fri 15-May-20 16:59:26

You also need to find some love for yourself as you are. You are not disgusting. You need to have some mental self care to start liking yourself, because once you like and love yourself you'll start caring for yourself and caring for yourself is proper food and proper exercise.

Will someone, even yourself, being mean and horrible to you about your body make you change what you haven't changed in the previous years?
You need to see yourself as worthy of your time for looking after yourself.

borntohula Fri 15-May-20 17:04:15

You're not disgusting, your perception of yourself will be different to how others see you.

Give yourself goals and as others have said, look at it as a lifestyle change and not a 'diet.'

sylbunny Fri 15-May-20 17:06:30

Well I'm the same height and weight and while I know I need to lose weight and I'm overweight I wouldn't class myself as extremely obese. So now I'm just sad!

Coffeecak3 Fri 15-May-20 17:08:46

Don’t wear leggings.
If you have to put fitted clothes on everyday you will pay more attention to your weight.
Good luck.

BittersweetMemories Fri 15-May-20 17:09:53

Yes, I'm only 2in taller and weighed just 1lb less before I started a diet (5lbs down!) and I would call myself fat but not extremely obese or disgusting!!!

Ultimately the only thing that worked for me was I finally hated what I saw in the mirror more than I love food 🤷‍♀️

TheMandalorian Fri 15-May-20 17:10:26

Have a look at some videos/ literature/ whatever on diabetes/ heart disease/ etc. Imagine not being able to play with your dc anymore.
But, it's really hard. Good luck.

KatnissK Fri 15-May-20 17:11:53

Don't diet because you hate yourself. Eat healthily because you love yourself. Don't ever think you don't deserve something because of your weight. Rather, remember that you can treat yourself but you also deserve to be healthy, so try to stick to healthier choices. Good luck!

TheoriginalLEM Fri 15-May-20 17:12:25

If you are disgusting then so am.i. I weigh and measure exactly the same as you. Size 18/20. I quite like my body thanks very much.

Don't get me wrong, i need to lose weight and I can do it because I've done it in the past.

It's all about moving more and eating less, eating less shite food. Exercise is key but I'm currently too big to run. I want to be about 11 stone.

PuckleP Fri 15-May-20 17:13:09

Firstly as pp says remember you are not alone. I've been there got the t-shirt and come back again. My doctor has told me to make small changes, so for me that's 2 biscuits instead of half a packet, cheese on alternate days and trying to walk a bit more each day along with one glass of wine only on non-school nights.
Take care and remember you're making the changes for you and nobody else. flowers

Whatsmyname26 Fri 15-May-20 17:13:49

I don’t think that weight makes you extremely obese, obese maybe. You definitely aren’t disgusting though. There are a multitude of reasons people gain weight and picking about where yours is might take some time. I am extremely overweight (can add several stone to you and similar height) but have chronic health conditions and pcos so between meds, hormones and mobility issues it’s an uphill battle. Also not helped by lockdown and a sweet tooth!

Go easy on yourself and use your current mood to help spark changes

IAmLarge Fri 15-May-20 17:14:24

Thank you for your replies.

My food choices are awful. If there's chocolate in the cupboard (family sized bar) I won't make it spread over a couple of days I'll just scoff it in one sitting. Chocolate and pasta are my biggest weaknesses. I don't seem to get to that point where I feel sick with chocolate, I can just keep going and going. I just hate the feeling of being hungry. Other than the chocolate (if its in the house) i dont really snack but thats because of my giant portion sizes at each meal. Last night I ate a portion of pasta big enough to feed 3 people and didn't even realise I was full until I stood up and could barley stand up straight.

I've always hated my body and my family (now no contact) have always commented on it. For example I split up with my boyfriend when I was a teenager and lost a stone so I was looking great at about 10st. Shortly after getting back together with my boyfriend I gained about half a stone back. I went to a family bbq where my sister decided to point it out infront of everyone. I just carried on eating and eating since then and not really looking after myself.

OP’s posts: |
BillywigSting Fri 15-May-20 17:14:26

Following as I'm a very similar height and weight. I'm a bit shorter and lighter but similar in terms of proportions I think.

I currently wear a size 16 when at a healthy weight I should probably be an 8.

My problem is feeling deprived with smaller portions and the tiny amount of calories I can have for weight loss. It's utterly depressing and almost half of what someone who is say 5ft10 can eat.

It feels fundamentally unfair, so I eat 'normal' portions and as such am very fat. sad

Twigletfairy Fri 15-May-20 17:18:44

If you are fat because you eat too much crap, then at least you have recognised what has caused the weight gain and can do something about it.

You can either take big drastic steps, or make little steps. Go with what you think will be sustainable for you. Aim to get healthy rather then lose weight

blackcat86 Fri 15-May-20 17:19:08

I had got myself into a health rut. I'm not obese but at 5'4 am carrying over a stone of extra post baby weight (she's nearly 2!!). I paid for a thriva blood test. My diet is pretty healthy for main meals but I snack on too much junk and let DH buy us too many takeaways IMO. The blood test showed very low vit.D and high inflammation markers so I've started the Mediterranean diet to help. Its helping me stay motivated because people will do the 'oh you dont need to lose weight' but really it's doing me no good on the inside. I also joined a live workout group on facebook and workout with them twice weekly. I enjoy it and its connected to my new business so I consider it work time to which keeps me motivated as I dont want to miss it!

missmouse101 Fri 15-May-20 17:21:41

I'm 4'11 and a similar weight (don't dare weigh myself so don't know) and I certainly agree I'm obese, but to say extremely obese is a bit much. I have spent most of my life trying to lose weight. I do understand you OP and I just don't know the answer. I think working out why we over eat is helpful. I mean really, really scrutinising it. The only thing that vaguely helps me is to think in advance each day, what will I choose to eat when I next have a hunger pang. So I have a pear and a banana ready in advance on a plate for example.

PeppasMuddyPuddles Fri 15-May-20 17:23:00

The Peleton app is handy for a place to start workouts. They have cardio workouts from 5 mins so you can start gently, and you can get a months free trial.
I also like the 30 day shred DVD. Again that one is quite short, around 20 mins I think.

Get a fitness tracker like a Fitbit, I know they aren't always accurate but itll give you and idea of how active you are. Set a step target for each day too.

All little things you can try that will help.

GabsAlot Fri 15-May-20 17:23:28

its hard im the same op-other people gtelling you wont make it happen you have to want to do it

i did once and lost three stone but put it on againi find motivation really hard aswell

TheGinGenie Fri 15-May-20 17:25:34

Agree with previous posters, if you believe you're disgusting you're just going to hate yourself if you eat something unhealthy. This doesn't work - there's a reason the diet industry is worth millions!

I think the key is to eat mindfully. By this I mean don't deny yourself the odd treat and don't hate yourself for it, but make sure it's something you really want and really savour and enjoy it. And if you reach for food think about whether you're actually hungry, or bored or sad or whatever. Why are you eating? If it's not because you're hungry, don't eat it for 20 minutes and see if you still want it. Think about portion sizes- this is definitely my downfall.

But you're not disgusting. Please don't hate yourself.

Windyatthebeach Fri 15-May-20 17:27:54

Small steps make you more likely to stick to change. Imo.
I have given up brown toast with real butter and jam for porridge with half semi /half water.
And reduced biscuits to 1 per hot drink.

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