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Ex Had Friend Round!

7 replies

Sadie00007 · 15/05/2020 15:29

So a couple of weeks ago I found out that my sons father had a friend in his house! I wasn't happy to say the least, when all this kicked off I asked my sons father to promise me that he would following social distancing and abide by the law, if he could promise me this I had no issues with him continuing with our normal visitation agreement (every other weekend), he has form for being a liar, but this time I had video evidence, so when I confronted him about it and he said NO, I told him I'd see a video that proved otherwise!

After me telling him that I was withdrawing his visits two weeks ago, he text today asking if he could see our son this weekend...I asked our son and he said that he would see him on Saturday and stop over one night, his father is a manipulative, gas lighting narcissist, but I felt under the circumstances I would come to a compromise, I almost wish I had said no, but because he was so selfish, my son has asthma so the fact he mixed with other people makes it even more horrendous...

I think the main reason I have allowed him access is because I really don't want to look like a vindictive ex, I personally don't care what he does in his own time it's none of my business, but when it could potentially affect my son then I do care..

I suppose my question is, how would you have dealt with it?

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Am I being unreasonable?

6 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable

67%

You are NOT being unreasonable

33%

Ponoka7 · 15/05/2020 15:33

I think that now we are coming out of lock down and we are trying to get the schools back, you haven't got good enough reason to stop contact.

Is your Son's asthma severe? How old is he?

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Sadie00007 · 15/05/2020 15:52

He is 7, he has both blue and brown inhalers and has the montelukas tablets so its bad enough for me to be concerned.

Schools have not agreed yet when they are starting back and people are stilling being told to stay 2 meters apart so its not changed a great deal.

My intention was never to stop my son seeing his father, as I said, we agreed from the outset that arrangements would stay in place as long as we were both following guidelines set out by the government, all of which were put into law, technically he broke the law and my trust when he thought it was okay to have a mate round...

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Yallreadyforthis · 15/05/2020 16:12

Yes, it's not allowed, but surely it's not that different to you going to the shops and coming back?

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RuffleCrow · 15/05/2020 16:17

I sympathise. My ex has been seeing his live-out gf this whole time. He's also broken lockdown to take dcs on holiday. Not much l could do about it. 'Vindictive ex gf' narrative is strong wherever you are, whatever's going on.

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GrimmsFairytales · 15/05/2020 16:21

I'm not saying what your Ex did was ok, but it was one friend, 2 weeks ago. He hasn't demanded to see his son, he asked and you said yes. If you'd had said no he would have accepted this, as he has done for the last 2 weeks.

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LagunaBubbles · 15/05/2020 16:26

think that now we are coming out of lock down and we are trying to get the schools back, you haven't got good enough reason to stop contact

You're assuming OP is in England. Nothing is changing in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

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Sadie00007 · 15/05/2020 17:28

he only has his son every 2 weeks so this weekend would have been his weekend (my son was at his the Friday I found out..im not prone to over reacting so I didn't ask him to bring our son home..), yes he didn't demand, its not his style, he is more the manipulative type and yes my son will see his dad