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Do you feel like you look?

(19 Posts)
UngainlyGiraffe Fri 15-May-20 14:35:10

A bit of an odd question, but something my friends and I were talking about last night.

As a teenager, I always felt big and awkward compared to my super slim friends. Couldn’t wear heels, didn’t wear make up. Always just felt uncomfortable. Like an elephant stomping around in a group of svelte panthers (I wasn’t even that big in retrospect).

Now I’m a lot slimmer and do all the ‘feminine’ things. I like the image in the mirror - but I still feel like an elephant most of the time. Every date I’ve ever gone on I feel like they won’t recognise me (that might be separate hang up from my teens years where somebody I’d met several times in person asked me on a date over text, and then told me when I got there he was waiting for ‘giraffe’ for his date - mistaken identity as it’s absolute humiliation). Thankfully it’s not happened in recent years but I still get really panicky. And then especially with sex - what if I take my clothes off and the elephant is revealed?

I suppose the real question is do you feel your self image matches your actual image?

YANBU - no, I don’t ‘feel’ like I look
YABU - the inner matches the outer

OP’s posts: |
NoMorePoliticsPlease Fri 15-May-20 14:36:32

Yep I look pretty old and 2 stone overweight

Beamur Fri 15-May-20 14:38:28

I'm always surprised by how I look. I imagine myself much slimmer, younger and more attractive. grin

Gawdsake2020 Fri 15-May-20 14:38:37

I look skinny and healthy on the outside. Inside I’m loosing weight at an alarming rate and feel very ill. YANBU.

ChaToilLeam Fri 15-May-20 14:39:45

I voted YABU, I think I feel okay for an active and mostly happy middle aged woman, it’s what I look like too. When I was young I constantly felt awkward and out of place, these days I really couldn’t care less.

Silenceisnotgolden Fri 15-May-20 14:40:24

I look much more confident than I feel. Inside I’m a wreck who questions myself every second of every day. It’s grim.

UngainlyGiraffe Fri 15-May-20 14:46:39

Quite an even split. That’s interesting.

Maybe it’s something that happens with age? I am definitely more confident about myself than I was in my mid-late 20s (when I was at my absolutely slimmest and had a really unhealthy control issues around exercise and diet), but I don’t know if getting back into the dating game is making me regress a bit now.

OP’s posts: |
EmeraldShamrock Fri 15-May-20 14:48:41

No I think I am 25 with fresh skin until I look in the mirror and see I'm nearly 40 and my skin looks dull.

SciFiScream Fri 15-May-20 14:53:22

I've got a brilliant self image in my mind that's always shocked by reflection and photos! Though my bathroom mirror always makes me look fab.

I feel younger and thinner than I look. But I don't actually care that much. I'm happy being me. I don't wear make up or bother with my hair. I'm very low maintenance. As long as my teeth are clean that's enough!

Waxonwaxoff0 Fri 15-May-20 14:58:00

I feel slimmer than I am. I used to be slim size 6-8 in my early 20s. I'm slightly overweight now but I don't see it until I see a photo of myself.

UngainlyGiraffe Fri 15-May-20 15:18:28

One of my friends did say they still feel as slim as they did when they were younger. I wonder if that’s tied to better self-esteem. Mine is probably not great at the moment.

OP’s posts: |
OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow Fri 15-May-20 15:22:28

My brain likes to pretend I am still half the size. Bastard. I think it means well, but....😂

Ponoka7 Fri 15-May-20 15:30:12

In my mind I look like I did in my 30's. In reality, I've put on five stone and look my age, twenty years older.

IVflytrap Fri 15-May-20 15:34:12

I like to think of myself as taller and a bit more slender instead of wide at the ribcage. With slightly defined cheekbones and a less wide face. Maybe a bit mysterious looking... Then I look in the mirror and my big awkward face squints back. sad

I know what you mean about "the elephant". I felt the same way as a teenager (still do, actually). My friends always seemed so lithe and elegant, and then there's me lumbering along beside them like a harbour seal amongst swans.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Fri 15-May-20 15:42:22

Yes, I think so. I'm in pretty good shape for a 53 year old and that's what I see when I look in the mirror. Caveat added: just my opinion of course but, there again, when it's about me, that's the only one that matters blush

Want2beme Fri 15-May-20 15:43:23

YANBU. I've never felt how I look. I was slim and always told I was good looking, (not a boast), when I was young, but I never felt it at all. I never thought I'd age quickly as I've tended to look young for my years, like DM. Blimey, have I aged drastically since reaching my 50's. It's shocking how it suddenly just happens. I barely look in the mirror these days, and I do now feel how I look - not good.

Flippetydip Fri 15-May-20 15:51:49

I look better in a mirror than I do on Zoom, but that's not saying a huge amount.

Don't stress it OP, just be happy with who you are. As I always say to my kids "it's what's on the inside that counts" - which backfired the first time I said it when my youngest, aged about 4 said "but that is DISGUSTING - all the blood and bones".....sigh….you try your hardest.

Fandoozle1 Fri 15-May-20 16:02:37

I feel fat, ugly and a shitty shade of pale (Anaemia)..... and that's exactly what I am sad
I would love to be 18, healthy and happy again.

ohlookthisisjustdaftnow Fri 15-May-20 16:07:08

I feel old and tired. Haven't got the energy to go and look in the mirror, but I suspect I look like it too!

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