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bad practice in my current role, offered another this week - feel like i can't work notice in current job

(10 Posts)
Jungiannn Fri 15-May-20 09:51:53

Ive worked in this place for 7 months. At first, it seemed quite nice and friendly. It's a small team and we work with vulnerable people (who aren't residents/in care - don't want to say as too outing)

Anyway. About a month in, I started to get a bit nervous because of what I perceived as unethical behaviors - basic things such as GDPR breeches with non-password protected documents with personal info on, but also I found out that the professionals I work with are not under a regulatory body for the work they do. This is unusual in my line of work.

They also expect me to do things I am not trained to do. They treat it like a business rather than a way to help people.

I handed my notice in (notice period 4 weeks) this week. I am meant to be working (from home) today and I just cant bring myself to start. It has been making me throw up with anxiety for about 3 months now. I don't sleep through the night with anxiety. Even though I am contracted for 3 days per week, I am expected to respond any day to manager (including weekends) and to do work with clients on these days.

6 weeks ago my GP signed me off with work-related stress. No changes were made when I returned. No back to work. No discussion of why I was off.

I've had no reply to handing my notice in.

I was offered a job in a very reputable place this week - but it is dependent on 5 years of references, so including this role as well!

I feel unable to carry on in the role, but I am frightened that if I don't work my notice my manager will give me a bad reference/won't provide one and my job offer with be rescinded by the new organisation sad

I really feel unable to work in such a way for a further month - the thought of it freezes me with fear.

I've never been like this before. I've worked in so many different jobs - from supermarkets, offices, to my current role in health. I am conscientious and hardworking, and just feel awful. The thought of my phone going at any minute makes me on edge from 8am - 7pm daily and only for about 2 hours a night I feel calm - then I panic getting into bed thinking "it starts again tomorrow"

AIBU to ask manager to reduce my notice period/not provide one?

No experience in doing this sad always left work with on a good note and worried if i do leave if it will affect my job offer sad help!

OP’s posts: |
NooneElseIsSingingMySong Fri 15-May-20 09:55:05

I can’t see many employers saying you don’t have to work your notice but given how stressed you are can’t you just get a sick note to cover your notice period?

Jungiannn Fri 15-May-20 09:56:53


I could do, but I am worried that will affect the job offer I have just received. Or even worse, as the manager isn't the most professional providing a bad reference/not providing one at all.

OP’s posts: |
WobblingMyWigglyBits Fri 15-May-20 10:05:46

Have you got a colleague who can write you a reference instead ?

Jungiannn Fri 15-May-20 10:22:09


The team is extremely small, and the unprofessional behavior that makes me anxious is coming from the very 4 people who would be able to provide the reference sad

I feel very torn

OP’s posts: |
Astrid84 Fri 15-May-20 10:32:54

Like you said you've no other option given how awful you employer seems to be.

You've worked through 7 months of this whats another 4 weeks of it to know that at the end of it you will no longer be there.

Wibblewobble99 Fri 15-May-20 10:37:47

Are you in the U.K.? It’s very difficult for your current employer to give a bad reference - a lot will only do factual references these days e.g dates of employment, job role etc. The risk for your currently employers will be if they give you a ‘bad’ one you could sue. And they wouldn’t want you to go to the press or whistleblow with the information you’ve shared with us.

I would also question why your new employers haven’t already obtained your references? It’s risky for you to have handed your notice in without references being confirmed. I would ask them to do this ASAP so you can relax and it means if there are any issues you can look to resolve them.

Moondust001 Fri 15-May-20 10:40:00

You have a few weeks to do. Do them. No matter what, you would expect them to give you notice properly, and you should do the same. It's the professional thing to do.

Jungiannn Fri 15-May-20 11:09:58

I handed my notice in prior to being offered this role. I discussed with DP, and he said he would support me to do this. We're financially secure enough (DP is a GP) to do so, and I have enough savings, if needs be, to contribute to mortgage/running of the household.

OP’s posts: |
longtimecomin Fri 15-May-20 13:10:43

You'll probably feel a lot better if you just power through and force yourself to do the last few weeks

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