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To send DH packing for his own safety?

(18 Posts)
ohidontgetit Thu 14-May-20 21:49:15

DH extremely vulnerable to CV, 60, ex-smoker, has permanent lung damage from leigonnaries disease a few years ago, overweight, high blood pressure etc. I have no doubt if he gets CV he will become seriously ill with it.

He has been an absolute fucking idiot throughout the whole thing. Despite me pleading with him that I will do a weekly shopping trip and he should stay at home, he has insisted on going to the shop every day just as an excuse to go out. What can I do? I cannot physically stop him. He doesn’t care that he may be putting others at risk. He just says “Oh well I have hand sanitizer in my car!”.

Now our DD(17) is showing symptoms. Sore throat, breathlessness, chest sore when she coughs etc. We both think it’s COVID-19 and can only have been brought home by DH. DH before this all started was living in a rented flat during the week as we were having some marriage problems but since the lockdown has moved back in full time. He still has the flat which is sitting there empty. I have told him that I really think he should go to the flat to avoid exposure from DD but he is outright refusing and insisting DD just has a cold (even though her nose isn’t blocked at all).

He is a ticking time bomb and he doesn’t give a shit. WIBU to pack his bag next time he insists on going out and then send him packing to his flat for his own safety? But then my worry is if DD has COVID then DH surely must as well and I don’t want him on his own if he becomes seriously ill as he’s not the type who’d seek medical attention on his own. He is also a selfish git who I know will continue to go out if he wants to, no thought to anybody else. I don’t know what to do.

OP’s posts: |
Purplewithred Thu 14-May-20 21:53:38

He's a grownup, he understands the consequences, he can make his own decisions. Let him do as he pleases. Has he written a will, do you have power of attorney set up? Maybe focus on that rather than worry about his safety when he clearly doesn't care.

Fallsballs Thu 14-May-20 21:59:23

I don’t think you need anyone to tell you what to do OP - isn’t rocket science.
He doesn’t sound like a catch Covid-19 or not.

ohidontgetit Thu 14-May-20 22:04:43

I really don’t understand him at all. He constantly goes on about how he doesn’t want to get it but puts himself at unnecessary risk all of the time. If he carries on like this it’s only a matter of time. I’m looking into getting DD tested.

OP’s posts: |
GreyishDays Thu 14-May-20 22:06:16

But if he has it, why does it help to move him out?

RestaurantoffBroadway Thu 14-May-20 22:11:46

Because he might not have it. DD might have it from somewhere else. and removing him from exposure reduces his viral load if he does get it.

shinynewapple2020 Thu 14-May-20 22:22:40

If you think that your DD has Covid you all need to isolate for 14 days whether that is at the same house or one of you in a separate flat

LaurieFairyCake Thu 14-May-20 22:22:40

How could she have it and not him?

He's the only one been out? confused

wonderrotunda Thu 14-May-20 22:22:44

Could you invest in a oximeter...just in case...friend of mine caught it and seemed fine, ticking along...but became dangerously low in oxygen...then at least you can monitor levels

ohidontgetit Thu 14-May-20 23:07:47

@ LaurieFairyCake You tell me, that’s why I’m so confused. DD has been our running a couple of times but far away from anybody so I assume it’s more likely DH has brought it back from Tesco. But as you say, how can she have it and not him?

If he doesn’t already have it though I do want him away from DD.

OP’s posts: |
NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite Fri 15-May-20 06:52:55

If your DD has Covid, how do you know that you haven't given it to her and are asymptomatic yourself?

Are you and your DD now self-isolating?

newrubylane Fri 15-May-20 07:44:55

If he's the one who has brought it back, it's quite possible that he's asymptomatic. Just because he's higher risk doesn't automatically mean he will get a severe case, only that he is more likely to statistically. Even among the high risk groups, more people will get asymptomatic/mild cases. You're not right to say you have 'no doubt' he would become severely ill, because it doesn't work like that.

ohidontgetit Sat 16-May-20 01:46:06

DH now showing symptoms. He of self employed and not an essential worker so can’t get tested. I’m worried sick.

OP’s posts: |
T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Sat 16-May-20 01:49:22

Can he not get tested if he’s high risk?

MadCatEnthusiast Sat 16-May-20 02:55:33

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily - OP's DH isn't a keyworker, is younger than 65 or someone working outside like a social worker or a construction manager for example. He doesn't fit the criteria to be tested unless he went into hospital and satisfied the NHS/hospital criteria

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Sat 16-May-20 02:57:45

Thank you for clarifying. I meant in relation to his underlying conditions, so I should have been clearer. That’s awful.

1forAll74 Sat 16-May-20 03:55:42

He may have this cavalier attitude about this virus, despite his health issues, because he doesn't want to be alone in this flat,and want's to be with family no matter what. Not sure how you can deal with this.

octoberfarm Sun 17-May-20 03:29:27

How are your DH and DD doing today, OP? And how are you holding up? Thinking of you thanks

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