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AIBU?

To want more help from partner working 2-10 shift?

6 replies

Orangespike · 14/05/2020 17:40

We have a 5mo and partner works 2-10 and 6-2 shifts.
I do 95% of night feeds so he’s not too tired for work. I also get up with the baby at 8am because I know I can have a sleep when the baby has a 2hr nap. This week we tried alternating nights doing all the feeds as I’m starting to resent his lie ins when I get all the broken sleep. But I also understand it’s shit going to work.
AIBU to expect him to be up and awake by 10am? I’m so tired and annoyed I don’t even know what’s reasonable anymore. He’d sleep till 12.30 to leave at 1pm if I let him he’s very snoozy. He’s a lovely person and dad just the sleep thing is making me so sad x

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Am I being unreasonable?

9 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable

22%

You are NOT being unreasonable

78%

pjmask · 14/05/2020 18:01

Yes he should be doing more. It's not just about "helping" but how can he bond with his child if he sleeps until 12.30, then leaves the house until after 10pm!

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MaternitySpongeBob · 14/05/2020 18:05

How much free time (to use at your discretion, in hobbies, self care etc, have sleep beyond, say, a basic 7-8hrs) do you each have? That's more interesting in my experience. How many hours are you "on shift' for primary caring Vs him? Does he work on a job where cognitive function is safety critical (train driver, construction site, doctor, lorry driver etc)

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Doowop20 · 14/05/2020 18:08

How many days off does he have a week? Could he give you a lie in on those days?

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ViciousJackdaw · 14/05/2020 18:34

Not sure on this one. Say you were working and you had to be in for 9am. How would you feel about being up and dressed at 6am? What time does he go to bed?

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ViciousJackdaw · 14/05/2020 18:35

Scrap that, it would be up at 5am wouldn't it. So yes, how would you feel about being up and dressed four hours before you had to start an 8 hour shift?

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Orangespike · 14/05/2020 19:03

Thanks everyone! I feel like I can't see the wood for the trees about it all and I don't want to be unfair on him. He drives so he definitely does need sleep to be safe. And he does need some time to relax aswell, it's like having your evening off in the morning.
I think because of the wider situation and being alone with the baby such a lot I wish our together hours were a bit more evenly split. And the baby loves him to bits and has so much fun with him. I'm going to wind my neck in very slightly 😂 thanks all 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻