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AIBU to worry about lack of help for my speech delayed 3year during lockdown

(21 Posts)
Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 10:30:19

Hi i’m posting on here for traffic as i’m racking my brain worrying and overthinking. I have a 3.5 yo ds who i have posted about before. Long story short he had some social communication difficulties aswell as a speech delay. His receptive language was not age level and tbh i thought he may have a disorder rather than a delay.

Having anxiety already meant i didn’t know if my worries about his development were rational as he’s always been a sweet loving boy with a sense of humour. Fast forward to now he’s flourished into a social and active kid but still is nowhere where he should be with speech. He says one word sentences and a few 2 word/ word sentences he frequently uses e.g open the door.

He does get all his needs met by telling me what he wants, hasn’t really started saying “i’m hungry” but will ask for what he’s feeling like at the time. He also asks to play on his trampoline, again one word sentences, eye contact and pointing is what i’m working with.

I was able to get him some private therapy and stopped because of covid-19 in march before things got serious in uk but after contracting viral bronchitis hmm myself and my whole family were horrible ill for months i took it upon myself to self isolate meaning his therapist couldn’t come.

My problem is now, i’m worried he’s not making as much progress as he could at nursery or therapy. I’m aware that his speech delay is quite severe and will probably be able to go to nursery and have appointments but i’m not comfortable with him stepping foot outside with everything that’s going on. AIBU? Its sad because he really had the potential to flourish this summer if i could take him places and show him things, he’s stuck indoors most of the time.

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HairOfTheFrog Thu 14-May-20 10:33:40

There's a lot you could do at home to help him smile Have a look on the internet and you'll find loads of speech therapy type activities you can follow at home!

You could probably even pay for some private speech therapy sessions or advice via zoom or skype.

oohnicevase Thu 14-May-20 10:36:15

My son has sn and is nearly 9 with the speech of a toddler .. we had some speech therapy at the beginning but honestly it was me who taught him to speak .( the paediatrician told me he would never talk) .
I taught myself Makaton which will help him connect and communicate.
I talk ALL the time clearly and concisely so he understands.
I get him to repeat words as I say them and give tonnes of praise to encourage .
When you go for a walk point out everything and say for eg bird , can you say bird ? When he does give him loads of praise .
You can really help him at home and it will come eventually!

oohnicevase Thu 14-May-20 10:36:53

By the way although it's slow my son is learning new words every day .. so never give up! 🤩🤩

Mustbethewine Thu 14-May-20 10:41:58

Both my DC have speech disorders. My youngest, who received a lot of support and 121 in school, resource centres etc. is no longer getting any extra support at the moment so I understand your concerns. Maybe give your HV a ring and just ask for some advice on how support your DS during this time?

Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:06:13

@HairOfTheFrog thank you so much i hadn’t thought of zoom meetings because although my focus is on him all the time, I do feel like i’m stuck at making him join words?

@oohnicevase you are truly inspirational!! well done to you and your dsflowers i’m sure he will exceed all expectations and break all barriers having you by his side. I do everything you mentioned constantly (apart from makaton) to the point my ds gets bored. But he now shows me things and tells me things in his own little way so it’s definitely working. sounds really bad admitting this, but due to my own mental health (anxiety) i find my self paralysed with fear (don’t ask what exactly i’m so afraid of, wish i knew) but having bouts of these feelings with lockdown is really affecting how much i’m playing with him etc. He is my best friend and we have such a close bond and when i am well i put 100percent in, i still have good days. but now all the pressure is on me it’s making me feel worse it’s like a viscous cycle sad

@Mustbethewine don’t really have a relationship with a hv for him surprisingly as he’s in the system i just went from one to another and had horrible experiences across the board. Until i had my younger ds11mo his hv is so sweet and VERY young, but i’m a young mum too so we hit it off, but when it comes to my older ds she’s not able to help as it’s not anything she has come across before. She will willingly put me in contact with his nhs salt who is honestly the most useless human being.. i’m sorry i’m not usually this rude but she has never helped dispute me badgering on at her since he was 18months old. so that’s that m, but thank you all for your replies really helps knowing i’m not alone

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oohnicevase Thu 14-May-20 11:11:01

@Mum2prince .. not sure about that but I do my best, I was told he wouldn't walk or talk but he does both because I was adamant I didn't want him to have a life in a wheelchair .. I am pretty determined though when told I can't do something 😂.
Have you any medication for your anxiety ? My mum suffers and propranolol really helps .

Falafellygood Thu 14-May-20 11:15:53

You mention working on eye contact and pointing. Are you concerned about ASD at all?

My 3 year old has recently been diagnosed and is non verbal. Is your son under SALT? I think in some places you can self refer. Maybe you could look into that and try and contact them for advice?

Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:17:32

@oohnicevase wow that’s amazing ur ds is doing so well!! I’m sure it’s down to BOTH your hard work. wish i had more assertiveness in areas of my life that cause me worry. and as for medication i’m on sertraline 50mg daily. I don’t know if i need a higher dose as i was fine before after the horrid 2 weeks of adjusting to it. Now it’s seems my anxiety has peaked through the rough which is understandable as I have a lot going on atm (last year undergrad, DH works abroad and haven’t seen him since lockdown, i was meant to move over there but lockdown) It seems leaving to live with DH won’t solve all my feelings as i have such a huge support system here that i’m scared when it’s me and kids in a foreign country i will be very lonely.

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oohnicevase Thu 14-May-20 11:24:31

@Mum2prince that's a anti depressant though isn't it ? Mum has that and propranolol which is purely anti anxiety and really helps .

Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:27:18

@Falafellygood yes i was concerned at when he was 2 his eye contact was there but fleeting and his attention was very hard to get. but as his receptive language picked up he’s pretty much okay and that’s his main forms of communication along with a few words. he did get referred to pead as per my request through gp. she did wait and see approach as he was very delayed but was good at reading my facial expressions and social cues. The follow up would have been sometime next month so we will see if all is well enough to go to the appointment though i really don’t want him in any hospital/go/clinic type settings, as u probably know at this age they are touching everything so i would rather not have him go. Also he did have 1 group session on with salt at 22 mo and then never heard back from them. Decided to go private after seeing what services near me are like, went back to nhs salt dec 2019 to tell her his private therapist will be away for a month could she help him in that time. After doing some activities with him she said there is a group he would be suitable for starting in the new year, i sighed and left. Never heard back from her

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Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:30:46

yes although i didn’t think i had depression at all as i’m never down unless my anxiety is bad, my go pointed out that anxiety may cause depression in cases like mine as he asked if i was tearful.. being on the verge of tears made it quite obvious that it’s been rough so he prescribed me that. But i’ve heard it takes a few tries to find the right medication? i’m not sure, as getting help was a big step for me as it’s very much seen as a taboo in my community. I grew up thinking medication is what gives people problems.

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Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:33:02

@oohnicevase gp**

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Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:34:39

@oohnicevase just read your comment properly and seen your mum has both medications. Definitely worth asking my go if i can have something solely for anxiety xx

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WaterWisp Thu 14-May-20 11:38:30

I can't comment on speech interventions as I had none, but I didn't speak a word until I was nearly 3. It turned out that I'm autistic. I caught up with my peers and am now currently at medical school, so it is possible to be speech delayed and then catch up and thrive. If he isn't pointing much or making much eye contact then it might be a good idea to get him assessed to see if he has autism, as those traits are quite common in autistic people.

It's so good that you're actively seeking support for his speech and development. I'm rooting for you smile

oohnicevase Thu 14-May-20 11:47:23

@Mum2prince .. yes definitely ask !

Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:53:47

@WaterWisp thank you for sharing your experience! the lack of eye contact and lack of pointing at 18months were red flags for me and is why i sought out medical intervention to begin with. I’m aware that every person with asd presents differently and the spectrum varies so i’ve always never been sure with him. The nhs haven’t diagnosed him yet as they wanted to wait till he was older (which is now) but with everything going on i’m probably going to get him some help privately once we move away soon as lockdown is lifted.

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Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:56:24

But from lurking on mumsnet and doing my win research the help for asd and speech and language delays to his severity is pretty much the same. So for now i’m focused on how to help him reach his full potential whilst in lockdown x

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Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 11:58:40


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WaterWisp Thu 14-May-20 13:28:43

@Mum2prince I'm impressed by how proactive you are, I wish you luck with finding methods to support him in lockdown

Mum2prince Thu 14-May-20 21:10:33

@WaterWispthank you for your kind words! they mean so much to me right now x

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