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To think he's cheating?

(23 Posts)
SonnyRobes Wed 13-May-20 15:50:29

OH is honestly the perfect man. We've been together since we were 16 through school, university, post-grad etc. We're now married and have one son together. He's everything I ever wanted (smart, funny, kind, handsome). He's supported me through really tough times and I've never had any doubt that he's the person I want to be with.
However, back in February, I went to the supermarket and left OH at home with our son. Whilst in the supermarket I got a message from him that said "you can come over now if you want". I didn't see the message until I got home so didn't respond or bring it up. The shop is only five minutes from the house so I would've been gone for well under an hour. Now in lockdown, OH went to drop some parcels off at the Post Office and then to pick some things up from the supermarket on his way home. He messaged and said "I'm outside Tesco. Fancy joining me?". I feel like that's a bit odd, especially in light of the old message.
On the other hand, I've never had any suspicions that he'd do anything with anyone else. In lockdown, he simply hasn't had the opportunity because we're at home 24/7. He's not secretive with his phone - it has a much better camera than mine so I'm constantly using it for photos and videos of our son or the dogs etc. I know all his social media and email passwords just because he's awful at responding to people so his sister (for example) will message to meet up and he'd simply forget to reply if I didn't check it. I feel a bit silly for even questioning it but I just think they're strange messages to receive otherwise? Maybe he was just joking and maybe he's not as funny as I thought?
Am I nuts?

OP’s posts: |
Windyatthebeach Wed 13-May-20 15:53:22

Odd. How old is your ds?

ivykaty44 Wed 13-May-20 15:53:37

Seems a bit odd, but also 2 odd messages and what’s even stranger is you don’t ask him about the messages?

CurlyEndive Wed 13-May-20 15:54:44

Hmm.... weird. Yes, those are surprising messages to receive, but if he's very open with his phone it's unlikely that he's cheating. I guess just keep an eye open?

CoRhona Wed 13-May-20 15:55:00

I think he's taking a massive chance if you'd only been gone under an hour and the second message definitely sounds like it was for you, don't you think?

On balance, YABU. I hope.

zscaler Wed 13-May-20 15:58:14

Second message sounds like it was for you. First message could have been for anyone - would be very surprised if he was arranging an illicit tryst though, given your son was at home and you were only going to be gone for an hour. Maybe someone was dropping something off or picking something up?

Have you ever asked him about them?

On the basis of these two messages alone, when he’s very open with his phone and social media, I would definitely not assume cheating.

AngusThermopyle Wed 13-May-20 16:00:22

I'd find that rather suspicious, however, it's easy for some people to still cheat AND be open with their phone, friend of mines husband was cheating for two years, some people are very tech savvy and good at hiding things, he just blocked/deleted messages every time he was on way home, friend had no idea until someone else mentioned something else and it all came out. They used each others phones almost every day for one thing or another. They're divorced now though, obviously.

Isawamagpie Wed 13-May-20 16:00:47

Really strange op, especially since you weren't gone long?

My ex H was cheating on me, and I had a message whilst I was away for the night visiting a friend asking me to go to a mutual friends party, clear as day I remember thinking how strange the message was that he knew I was out overnight and drinking, so no way could I join him - next day i confronted him after seeing on Facebook that and ex girlfriend had been at this mutual friends party, ex H left that night, after being cagey and refusing to let me see his phone.

Really hope in this instance its not what I went through, but you wouldn't be unreasonable to confront him calmly about the messages and ask what's they were?

Surely he mustve seen he sent them to you? I'm going back 10 years so technology wasn't what it is now (not whats app, no profile photos, so texts easily got send to wrong people)

Good luck op, i have my fingers crossed its nothing sinister!

TinnedPearsForPudding Wed 13-May-20 16:03:46

I'd be very suspicious, sorry

FlaskMaster Wed 13-May-20 16:04:59

Did you ask him if the messages were for you? They sound like they were for someone else.

SonnyRobes Wed 13-May-20 16:09:12

Thanks for your input everyone.
He just got home from the supermarket (and he brought me chocolate fingers!). I asked him about the messages. He says he can't remember the one from February at all, he has no idea what he meant or if it was intended for someone else. He's said that today's message was just a bit of a joke - meaning that he's bored queuing for the supermarket and I should be there to keep him company (obviously knowing I can't).
I'm clearly just having one of those moments.

OP’s posts: |
SeriouslySoDoneIn Wed 13-May-20 16:09:19

Well did you not respond to his text with something like “why’d I join you? I’m at home with son?”

SeriouslySoDoneIn Wed 13-May-20 16:09:54

Cross posted

SonnyRobes Wed 13-May-20 16:11:57

@SeriouslySoDoneIn I responded to the message today "join you outside Tesco?" and he said "why not?" and I didn't reply to that before he said "do we need mushrooms?". haha

OP’s posts: |
ErickBroch Wed 13-May-20 16:19:13

A bit weird but if you;re using his phone that much it throws it off. TBH, if he was at your local post office and tesco would he want to meet with his affair partner in public so close to home? It's weird though!

CoRhona Wed 13-May-20 16:26:56

I want chocolate fingers now...grin

Fluffybutter Wed 13-May-20 16:44:06

Weird sense of humour he has but I can’t say anything on the cheating front ..

SonnyRobes Wed 13-May-20 16:45:52

@Fluffybutter I know! I feel stupid for saying he's funny now haha.

OP’s posts: |
Neverender Wed 13-May-20 16:55:46

I'd think that was dodgy AF if it was me.

LastNameChanger Wed 13-May-20 16:59:24

Doesn’t sound like he’s cheating.
If he knew you were gonna be home soon the one in feb could have been anyone, family or friends.
The one today sounds like something my DP would send harmless

CadburysTastesVileNow Wed 13-May-20 17:10:34

Sounds like he forgot to swap to his secret sim before texting

borntohula Wed 13-May-20 17:38:58

Well, if he is, I feel a bit sorry for his mistress if all he's got to offer is a quick rendezvous in the time it takes you to get to the shop and back (while his kid is there) and a meeting outside Tesco.

SiaPR Wed 13-May-20 17:45:35

He meets his girlfriend outside Tesco? What a catch. Why did you not respond/ask about the first message?

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