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to ask what advice you'd give a 21yo woman?(5 Posts)
I'm in my mid-20s but I keep feeling like I haven't really done anything with my life since I graduated aged 21. I have had jobs and paid the bills, but I lost my job in the events industry as Covid19 started to get really severe. I also went through the break-up of a pretty serious relationship in January. Now I keep getting this sensation that I don't really know what direction I'm trying to go in.
I don't really know what I want to do for a career, whether I want to stay in London or move elsewhere, whether I want to have kids...I feel like most of my friends my age are a lot more settled into their careers/relationships and generally have a much better idea of where they want to be in five/ten years time. People keep telling me I'm young and I have a great CV and the world is my oyster, but I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with this oyster.
What general life advice would you give a 21yo graduate just starting to find her feet in the world?
first, you are not less settled than your friends. many of them will change their minds and move on to new jobs / relationships 5 times in the next 5 years. So don't feel bad about being unsure and unsettled.
Many of my friends did not 'settle' into a job / relationship until mid to late 30s. So give things time.
think about what you enjoy in a job. Not whether it is Arts or Entz or Science etc but the types of work - talking to people, going to new places, working at a computer, being outdoors, being with children etc. Then think if there are jobs that might give you those opportunities.
Volunteer - look for a charity where you can get hands-on experience with helping people. I did a lot of volunteering in my 20s, and made some great friends among the other volunteers, and built a great network of people (many of whom are now very successful in their field).
Dont compare yourself with others. Leave social media or restrict it. Travel. Dont settle in relationships. You are far too young and there will be other guys. You dont and may never 'figure' it out and thats ok. Try different things. Save up. Be kind to yourself and others and dont put up with those who are nasty to you even if it meands being on your own. Keep in touch with those who matter. Stick up for yourself.
Your friends are not likely to remain in their current relationships forever. Even if they do it doesn't mean you are 'behind'. I wouldn't want to be with the boyfriend I had at 21 or the one I had at 25 now, even though I liked them both at the time.
You are young. Don't worry too much. Grab opportunities when they come along. Pay into a pension if you don't already. Work towards financial security because it will buy you a lot of freedom.
Get a job, work towards your pension and save and when the world re-opens, travel, travel and travel.
Don't focus on a relationship right now.
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