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Listen up, you fuckwitted jerks..

(118 Posts)
crabsandoranges Mon 11-May-20 14:35:46

...if you were shopping in a certain supermarket in Bedford this lunchtime, I'm talking to you - yes, YOU.

I have a message for you:

1. Not only does it make you look like the shit-for-brains cretin that you truly are, wearing a mask does not entitle you to strut about manfully, expecting others to leap out of your way.

2. If you had a trolly rammed up your arse, it is your own stupid fault for pushing in and trying to grab a bag of carrots from under my nose.

3. Stop yacking, put your sodding phone away and look where you are fucking going, ok?

4. Please kindly refrain from standing in the middle of an aisle and rearranging the contents of your trolley for five minutes, while all about you stand there twiddling their thumbs because you are blocking their way.

5. Wearing a resting-bitch face and muttering darkly will not get you ahead of me in the queue for the checkout. If you want to go first, then get there first.

6. Leave your significant other at home/in the car. Lovestruck adolescents you may be, but you really don't want to be sauntering about holding hands, you stupid gits.

7. What part of TWO METRES APART is too hard for you to understand? If you still don't get it after all this time, and nothing can make it penetrate your thick skull, then fucking well go home and stay there.

8. To the miserable checkout operator who was smiley and friendly the last time I was in a few weeks ago - never mind, I don't want to be there any more than you do, and I'm sorry that so many of your customers are so awful.

To everyone else reading this, thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

OP’s posts: |
Dumbie Mon 11-May-20 14:36:47


GoFiguire Mon 11-May-20 14:37:55

Is this all about the same person?

Sparklfairy Mon 11-May-20 14:39:36

You ok hun? grin

ghostyslovesheets Mon 11-May-20 14:40:08

Jesus chill out you’ll do yourself an injury

Pleasebeafleabite Mon 11-May-20 14:41:54

How can you see a resting bitch face underneath a mask? confused

WarmSausageTea Mon 11-May-20 14:42:54


Just for you; people can be jerks. Also, posting tl:dr can be an indicator of this.

HTH. And that it wasn’t too long for you.

Gtugccbjb Mon 11-May-20 14:43:11


Notredamn Mon 11-May-20 14:43:18

He doesn't sound like the MN type grin

Imstillskanking Mon 11-May-20 14:43:59

Those of us with resting bitch face can't do anything about it. It's an affliction. We don't like it anymore than you do. That's just what our faces look like.

EdwinaMay Mon 11-May-20 14:44:03

LISTEN UP ! horrible americanism.

SoleBizzz Mon 11-May-20 14:44:31

Good example of what people are doing out there. Deliveroo next time? There is little respect fir the rules.

PlanDeRaccordement Mon 11-May-20 14:44:39

Letting yourself get this angry cannot be good for your heart.
Also #4 and #6 could be due to reasonable causes. Such as checking your trolley to your list to make sure you don’t forget something since you can’t go back with the one way systems in most groceries. And also not everyone can go shopping alone due to cognitive or anxiety issues.

Janaih Mon 11-May-20 14:47:13

Facebook is that way -‐------------->

Waveysnail Mon 11-May-20 14:48:15

I feel your supermarket rage. Iv took to shopping late evening an hour before they close as it quiet

BentBastard Mon 11-May-20 14:48:22

Honestly, sounds like you might be the problem here. You seem to have rage issues...

Thescrewinthetuna Mon 11-May-20 14:48:46

Chill out hun

ThomasHardyPerennial Mon 11-May-20 14:49:30

I think you are the jerk here, for calling someone a cretin.

Laaalaaaa Mon 11-May-20 14:49:31

I’m sure they’re going to see your rant and apologise 🙄

Windyatthebeach Mon 11-May-20 14:51:25

Dh came back from shopping in the same frame of mind op.
Particularly the elderly couple browsing with no basket or trolley and stopping and handling every fucking item of fruit and veg..

crabsandoranges Mon 11-May-20 14:51:42

It wasn't all the same person - except for the carrot-grabber whose phone call was clearly v important to her.

I'm quite chilled out now I'm home, but honestly, you'd have felt the same if you'd been there grin

OP’s posts: |
HandfulOfFlowers Mon 11-May-20 14:51:49

Take a breath. Perhaps a little perspective and tolerance would help? Don't suppose the individual you want to rant at is on here anyway.

Mouthfulofquiz Mon 11-May-20 14:53:34

Have you spoken to anyone about your anger issues? There are plenty of counselling services available over the phone during lockdown.

minettechatouette Mon 11-May-20 14:53:51

Sorry, but if you are feeling rage at multiple different people in one supermarket it's worth considering that you are the common denominator and are likely to be the problem. None of this sounds bad at all and we all should be wearing masks.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned Mon 11-May-20 14:54:28

@Pleasebeafleabite never underestimate the power of resting bitch face in the eyes.

If that makes any sense.

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