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AIBU we have always drank alcohol DH is now “giving it up”

(164 Posts)

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LennyPugGoat Sun 10-May-20 23:58:26

I’m on so many meds for anxiety and depression, I know alcohol doesn’t help, but right now for me it does for me In my mind.
We have been in lockdown for so long, he can wfh, I can’t. Today it was announced no more alcohol, I’ve had a drink tonight but it’s not the same alone.

I haven’t left the house for weeks on end, I’m an introvert, I’m worried about the next 3 weeks.... Aibu to think now is n0t the time to change long standing routines?

OP’s posts: |
KrakowDawn Mon 11-May-20 00:01:09

YABU. He's right to cut it out for his health. You should too. Exercise more- it helps depression and lower the blood pressure which will be elevated by your anxiety.

SudokuBook Mon 11-May-20 00:04:21

He is probably being quite sensible. Has he told you “no more alcohol “ too? How much do you drink?

PickAChew Mon 11-May-20 00:04:41

You do you but your dp is entitled to decide what he puts or doesn't put in his own body.

DrReed Mon 11-May-20 00:05:34

Actually I think now is exactly the time to try and change routines.

Maybe your dh would like to enjoy your company of an evening without alcohol being involved.

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:05:51

Oft I don’t know where to start.
I spend all day trying to be friendly looking for 5pm... 11pm is my favourite time to cry to Adele and wish this wasn’t happening

Sorry

OP’s posts: |
BiByeBaby Mon 11-May-20 00:07:11

My experience only. But it sounds like he doesn't want you to drink anymore, so this is his way of 'persuading' you. He's taking charge. But what do I know. Could just be a health kick/hes suddenly realised how bad for him it is

raspberryk Mon 11-May-20 00:07:15

I think it depends entirely on how much and how often you drink alcohol.

Sparklesocks Mon 11-May-20 00:07:54

It’s up to him if he wants to stop drinking. Has he said why? Is he worried about the amount he’s drinking (many people have increased their weekly units in lockdown) or just wants to live a bit healthier? You should be supportive really. It’s not a reflection on you if you choose to drink and he doesn’t.

0DETTE Mon 11-May-20 00:08:52

Do you mean he’s decided that he is going to give up alcohol ? I think that’s his choice. Are you seriously suggesting that he doesn’t have the right to do that ?

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:09:11

Dr you are so right, where do I start?

I’d love to stop, no idea how?

OP’s posts: |
KrakowDawn Mon 11-May-20 00:12:14

You have to want to stop. There's no other way. You have to do it.
He's there, and you can do it together.

ViciousJackdaw Mon 11-May-20 00:14:27

Lenny, I'm getting the impression that you're counting down the hours to wine o'clock. I know you said you have anxiety and depression - but is there anything happening (or not happening) at home that makes you turn to drink? Sorry if I'm being too nosy.

spaghettios Mon 11-May-20 00:15:06

Of course YABU, but I think you already know that.

He doesn’t want to drink, he shouldn’t have to just because you don’t want to drink alone. Good for him.

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:17:36

krawkodawn thank you so much, right now, no, I’m not ready. Still in furlough he is still able to work from home
My social anxiety rocketed before this, it’s just worse, I’ve not left the house for weeks thankfully to DH and keyworker DC shopping for me
I’m not coping
It’s all going to fall apart

OP’s posts: |
SudokuBook Mon 11-May-20 00:21:26

Alcohol doesn’t make a shit or difficult time easier to cope with. It really doesn’t.

Do you want to stop? Has he suggested you do? If no to both of those, why is it you want him to drink with you?

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:21:44

poster KrakowDawn Mon 11-May-20 00:12:14
You have to want to stop. There's no other way. You have to do it.
He's there, and you can do it together.

Right now, I don’t want to, I’m letting them all down

OP’s posts: |
KrakowDawn Mon 11-May-20 00:23:48

Well- you've the best excuse ever to avoid people socially without offending anyone wink
One day at a time. Cut down the amount even if you can't cut it out.
Try and go for a walk in the dark, when you know there'll be no-one else around ( and that will take up time, meaning you can't have a drink during your walk).

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:26:54

poster ViciousJackdaw Mon 11-May-20 00:14:27
Lenny, I'm getting the impression that you're counting down the hours to wine o'clock. I know you said you have anxiety and depression - but is there anything happening (or not happening) at home that makes you turn to drink? Sorry if I'm being too nosy.

Everything, not too nosey at all and nothing going on, I’m take taking meds for anxiety and depression
If it wasn't for my girls and my DH I’d end it all right now, don’t mean to be dreamativ, don’t worry

OP’s posts: |
LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:33:58

I’m such a mess
We have so much in place.

Don’t want to worry anyone

OP’s posts: |
Sparklesocks Mon 11-May-20 00:35:06

Have you been drinking tonight OP?
Is your DH around to talk to?

480Widdio Mon 11-May-20 00:38:14

You cannot drink Alcohol if you are taking medication for anxiety and depression!!! No wonder you are not coping!!

It is mind boggling how many people do drink and take medication.

Stop the Alcohol,let the medication do its job and you will start to improve mentally.

I have been sober 17 years next week and I used to do exactly what you are doing,trust me it just makes everything worse.

LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:38:44

Yes and no, he is in bed as our out teens.

I’m so thankful you are here. I can’t even start to explain how I feel

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LennyPugGoat Mon 11-May-20 00:41:17

480 thank you so much, it’s a hard road, I spend my day and night terrified

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changeagainandagain Mon 11-May-20 00:41:54

You can explain, we are here. Lots of up all night for various reasons, so you can talk

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