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Wouldn't you know its Mother's Day so of course MIL drama

(309 Posts)
Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 21:40:50

Today my MIL called and decided that since our lockdown is ending on Tuesday it was time for her to make plans with my family. First she started in about my son's high school graduation which was originally planned for next weekend. It was cancelled a few weeks ago and they did a drive by graduation. Mil was informed of this by email by my son and myself. Of course we didn't get a reply. Needless to say she was upset that she missed it. Sorry for her but the island is closed until Tuesday so she couldn't attend anyway. She then stated she would be here next weekend to say goodbye to the same son because he was scheduled to leave for basic training next Monday. But due to Covid and early graduation he got offered the opportunity to leave earlier so he took it. He informed her once again by email and of course no reply. To be honest today is the first time we have heard from her since very early December when she got her knickers in a twist that we were going on vacation for the holidays. I don't understand that because we always go on vacation during Christmas holidays but anyway....Next thing on her agenda was wanting to visit around my DILs due date which was May 19th but she had her baby by c-section two weeks ago. Once again she was informed by email and no response.Obviously she is disappointed but what can I do. She then went on to say that she would be arriving on Island by Wednesday so she can meet the baby. I then told her that Son and DIl were following the advice of their OB/GYN not to introduce the baby for 12 weeks due to Covid and Kawasaki Disease and in fact has decided to keep all visitors away from baby until after the tourist season which is October. Which is completely understandable considering where we live,tourisim traffic and very iffy medical care at this time. She started to lose it but reined it in. Right until she asked me for photos of my granddaughter and my DIL's phome number. I politely informed her that I did not have permission from my son and Dil to share pictures and most definitely didn't have their permission to share phone numbers. I told her I would pass her number along to my son and dil and they would handle it as they see fit. Thats when she lost the plot freaked out and started yelling and screaming. I just sat down the phone and took my daughter to the beach for swimming and a picnic.....She definitely put a dark cloud on my Mother's Day

OP’s posts: |
Justcallmebebes Sun 10-May-20 21:48:53

Why couldn't you send photos at least? Seems you went out of your way to exClyde her from everything. Appreciate in lock down it's hard but surely a couple of photos wouldn't have hurt?

Justcallmebebes Sun 10-May-20 21:49:49

Surely it's her Mothers day too?

Justcallmebebes Sun 10-May-20 21:50:52


Kastanien Sun 10-May-20 21:52:02

I would send a photo too, or just ring your son and ask his permission. She sounds like she wants to be kept as part of the family but is being cut out. Is there a back story?

Fanthorpe Sun 10-May-20 21:53:25

Did your husband do something nice for her? I’m getting the idea that she doesn’t like getting news by email? Does her son call her?

Willitneverend Sun 10-May-20 21:53:32

Why do you keep emailing her when it seems like she doesn't use email? Maybe figure out a better way to communicate?

Redshoeblueshoe Sun 10-May-20 21:54:02

Don't any of you use phones ?
And if your lockdown doesn't end till Tuesday how come you are having picnic's at the beach ?
From what you have posted I feel sorry for your MIL

Marlouse Sun 10-May-20 21:54:53

I’m sorry but it does sound like she’s being excluded. It all sounds very cold and frosty from your side. By the information you’ve given it seems you are as much a part of the drama as she is.

VettiyaIruken Sun 10-May-20 21:54:59

Have you checked she is actually getting the emails?

Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 21:55:02

@Justcallmebebes...Not my child to share photos of and I did not have permission from son and DIL to share those pics which is why I offered to give them jer phone number and have them deal with it

OP’s posts: |
Biscuitbiscuits Sun 10-May-20 21:56:10

Leave it to your DH?

I agree you shouldn't pass on their number or photos unless they choose to do so.

Is she generally a pita?

Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 21:56:32

@Redshoeblueshoe...Of course we use phones but she uses a burner phone and when it runs out of minutes she gets another. So we can't contact her by phone. She has to contact us first

OP’s posts: |
oversomerainbow Sun 10-May-20 21:56:57

You did the right thing, it's up to them what photos they share and who with, same with their phone numbers. If your son and DIL are happy to take her number and call her then there's no issue. She sounds hard work and demanding, this is hard for all of us but she should respect your son and DIL's wishes.

crochetandshit Sun 10-May-20 21:57:17

Does she read her emails?
Every single piece of (major) news seems to be a surprise to her!
Can't her son ring her occasionally?

frazzledasarock Sun 10-May-20 21:57:44

I’d not forward photos without the parents permission either.

Mother’s Day is surely MIL & her son ie OP’s DH, why wasn’t she calling him?

Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 21:58:05

@Redshoeblueshoe...Lockdown doesn't keep me from using my private property. This section of the beach and another section of the sound is my personal property

OP’s posts: |
Sometimeswinning Sun 10-May-20 21:58:27

It's not social media. Send her pictures and phone numbers. You're such hard work.

crochetandshit Sun 10-May-20 21:58:57

Cross post about the phone.
Has anyone out loud told her that you send these emails?

Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 21:59:19

@crochetandshit...We can't call her until she gives us a number. She changes phones as soon as she runs up the minutes

OP’s posts: |
Iseeareddoor Sun 10-May-20 21:59:23

Surely it's her Mothers day too?

She’s not the OP’s mother.

Kastanien Sun 10-May-20 22:00:52

So we can't contact her by phone. She has to contact us first

So how would it work if you passed her number onto your son & DIL? If they can't contact her then that is useless. I can see why she would be upset. Can't you ask your son if it is ok to give her his number, then she can ring him.

Leaannb Sun 10-May-20 22:01:01

@Sometimeswinning...Not my photos to share,not my child and not my phone number. Its not my place to share those things. Thats up to my sin and dil which is why I offered to give them the number

OP’s posts: |
Lougle Sun 10-May-20 22:01:07

she uses a burner phone

Is she in the secret services?

Fanthorpe Sun 10-May-20 22:01:28

It’s up to you how you handle your mil, but it sounds like there’s a big back story here.

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