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Second thoughts on relocation.

(10 Posts)
Unsureursula Sun 10-May-20 14:45:46

Hello all,
Will try not to drip feed.
Irish based in the UK (2 adults and one baby). Had been planning to relocate to Ireland for some time. Now with coronavirus I’m v worried about the financial impact...more so in Ireland than UK as we’re London based.
We committed to going back this month and as we pack I’m getting less and less sure. We rent here and th insecurity of that has played on mind...also wouldn’t be able to afford a house in this area so would either be in an apt for the long term, or would have to relocate. I LOVE the area we live in and the apt too.
I convinced OH that relocating was the right thing and now I’m not sure why I thought that. Would appreciate any advice here as I’m completely consumed with this and worry I’m making the wrong decision for my family.
Thanks

OP’s posts: |
lemontreebird Sun 10-May-20 15:34:48

What were your original reasons, though? If say, you wanted to go back so your baby could have the experience of growing up in Ireland, then that hasn't changed, iyswim.

Cyberworrier Sun 10-May-20 15:45:52

I agree, a lot depends on why you wanted to go home? What’s your work situation?
A friend used to officially work in london but actually was living in NI and just worked from home 99% of time , which was great financially.
God knows what economy anywhere going to be like. UK may end up worse affected, given our delayed responses and inadequate govt.
Where would you feel happier being potentially in lockdown on and off for a year or two?

Unsureursula Sun 10-May-20 22:33:14

Thanks for your replies.
@lemontreebird I think our baby growing up in Ireland, near extended family was a consideration. However, I do think that we could be happy here.
@Cyberworrier I’m actually concerned that Ireland will fare worse than the UK post CV and hope that financially we’re not going to be behind by going back.

OP’s posts: |
lemontreebird Mon 11-May-20 02:14:46

Why not sit and have a frank chat with your dp? He may share your concerns or be happy to return to Ireland anyway.

Have you got jobs and a home to go to? Where would you be happiest, in the longterm?

Unsureursula Wed 13-May-20 08:26:02

Thanks for the advice both. I’ve tried discussing with him and he’s very much ‘we’ve decided so just go with it’ but I can see he’s unhappy and I am too. I’m not even sure we can backtrack at this point...given notice to our landlord here etc but I’m just so miserable and can’t help but constantly think about how happy our baby is here with the beautiful parks on our doorstep etc

OP’s posts: |
Figgygal Wed 13-May-20 08:31:00

I’d agree with you
There’s so much uncertainty at the moment
Could you defer?
Do you have jobs to go to what about housing over there? Would your landlord accept you rescinding notice Or do they have new tenants already?

Saying that My friend moved back to NI a week before lockdown to be closer to family with their 2yo she’s happy and got a job via zoom despite the lockdown so you never know

Pinkdelight3 Wed 13-May-20 08:51:20

Can you afford to stay for the next six months to see how things settle? I don't think it's unreasonable at all, given how much things have changed, to stop and 'take a view'. The landscape is not remotely the same as it was when you made the decision and it's telling that you aren't thinking thank god you're moving back to be near your family etc, which could be an equally valid reaction in this situation. If you both still wanted to that would be another thing, but it sounds like you're full of doubts and he's dutifully going along with a possibly outdated decision. Look into the logistics of staying and see how that makes you both honestly feel.

Disclaimer - ime there is a 'danger zone' in the baby days, the first two years even, when new parents panic and decide to leave London to give their kid the upbringing they had back home. Sometimes it's absolutely the right decision and no regrets, other times people stick it out and find that after those early years, things work out just fine and they would've regretted going. It's so hard to know. So you might well be having this wobble anyway. But the argument stands that the whole world is dealing with a big unknown right now and there's no harm in pressing pause and waiting to make big life changes that you aren't certain about.

Laudaroc Wed 13-May-20 09:18:32

Trust your instinct!
We were supposed to move back to scotland from london 2 years ago - husband was working there after being made redundant and we were meant to join him but i would wake up in the middle of night terrified.
We are the same renting but could have bought a small place up there but i just couldn't do it.
In the end husband gave his notice and came home and found another job.
I felt relieved even though financially it was the wrong thing to do!

DysonFury Wed 13-May-20 09:34:59

Contact landlord and extend your lease by 6 months? There Is no shame in changing your mind and nobody would judge you for it.

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