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AIBU?

Housemate subrenting

43 replies

serenada · 09/05/2020 22:35

Housemate who disappeared overnight to return home has texted to say she wants to sublet her room for 5 week to an 'undocumented' friend of a friend.

Landlady would not allow subletting but now, as others (only one who is living here for now), have said it is Ok I am getting aggressive messages wanting to know my objection.

I do not think this is right or fair - she doesn't appear to know this person, there has been nothing but aggro since her and the other person moved in. Before lockdown I was moving out because of them and will leave at end of tenancy/once lockdown lifts.

Hasn't paid me for bills - currently owes me £150.00

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Am I being unreasonable?

136 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
3%
You are NOT being unreasonable
97%
BruceWilllis · 09/05/2020 22:47

Well you know you're not being unreasonable. Who is this person she wants to move in? Why does she want them to move in? What do your other housemates think ( there is more than just the two of you by the sounds of it) ?

I wouldn't agree to this in a million years either. I'd probably contact your landlord to be honest.

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HoneysuckIejasmine · 09/05/2020 22:49

Hell no, and I would warn your landlord.

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LellyMcKelly · 09/05/2020 22:54

Tell your landlord. Tell your friend that she needs to discuss it with the landlord. Let him deal with her.

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monkeymonkey2010 · 09/05/2020 22:58

tell her your reasons then.
You don't want an 'undocumented' stranger living illegally in your house, especially when she still owes money.
Tell your landlord and then phone the police if this person still turns up.
So what if they don't like you for it - hardly friends are they?

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Cherrysoup · 09/05/2020 23:01

No way! Some random unchecked person with no credit checks should move in? Tell her to fuck off.

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Rosiejim · 09/05/2020 23:05

Cheeky fucker! How dare she! I’d be sending a message to the rest of your housemates just outlining how unreasonable this all is.

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Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/05/2020 23:08

This could be potentially dangerous as no one is accountable, so they can do anything. Threatening texts be dammed, this is far more threatening.

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BlueBirdGreenFence · 09/05/2020 23:14

Forward the texts to your landlady and ask her to deal with it.

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serenada · 09/05/2020 23:36

Thank you all for your very reasonable responses. Other housemates are OK with it. One of them isn't living here at the moment and I suspect that the one who is here isn't keen either.

I have written about this house before on here as I have nothing but stress from housemate. During lockdown so far it has been ok as only one other person with me. Difficult housemate popped back to pick up stuff and said I needed to notify others of I was doing anything to garden (I weeded!).

I feel like they are really trying to intimidate me.We have had non stop hassle over the council tax. I am in charge of it and they pay me. The council tax requires a tenancy agreement when you sign up online - te tenancy agreement has all our names on it. When they discovered this (a statement was sent to us with our names on it) they went ballistic. One of them accused me of violating her human rights (by giving her name to the council tax people (as she saw it).

The landlady would not tolerate subletting however somehow it would end up being 'because I don't want it. I realise that part of the problem has been because the landlady is a bit ambiguous to us - she is lovely but I think she wants everyone to be happy and focuses on that rather than a set of rules we could all follow which in my mind is te best thing for essentially 4 strangers.

One person in particular has been absolutely disgusting in her behaviour - venomous and nasty and even when I get an email or text from her, the pit of my stomach goes. (I've actually blocked her now).

I am very grateful they are not here and the guy who is here is lovely but overall I think they see themselves as activists when they have moved into a very nice 3 bed suburban semi with some=on who has lived here for 5 years.

Apologies for the rant. I feel like I am dealing with children who won't take no for an answer and then run to the landlady and complain about me and when I speak to her I get the distinct feeling I am seen as the irrational one.

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Rosiejim · 09/05/2020 23:59

Is this the woman that put all of her stuff in the front room?

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serenada · 10/05/2020 00:05

@Rosiejim

Yes!

I had notified the landlady I was leaving 1st April and low and behold lockdown arrived!

Thankfully, difficult woman # number 1 is not here atm.

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mumwon · 10/05/2020 00:12

Land lady could be in a legal fix if this "sub" tenant doesn't have a right to live here - she has to check new tenants legal status - I suggest you remind her of the risk - tactfully

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mumwon · 10/05/2020 00:15

ps in our society there is a balance between rights & responsibilities
& its occurred to me that your fellow tenant might have social housing elsewhere which is why she might not want to be put on record as living elsewhere (sharing with you)

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serenada · 10/05/2020 00:29

@munwon

Yes, I imagine there is something like that going on.

Plus difficult tenant has tenancy agreement under on name but everything else now is in a different name and she has said she doesn't want to bel recorded here. She also appears to have an eBay business (hence all the stuff she has all over the house) which I suspect she doesn't want to pay tax on and apparently works for a newspaper.

It doesn't seem possible, I know and if I read this about someone else I would be very sceptical but other previous tenant set up a hidden camera in the house.

Here is the thing - i have gone out of my way to help - we have paid for an extender for one of them who was having problems with wifi in her room - taken in all parcels continuously throughout each day plus food shopping where i have put fresh food away for the other when she is at work, been generous and accommodating with everything.

What I cannot understand is that the bonkers one seems to have nice friends and a nice bf. Her behaviour is so nasty. It's visceral - i can feel the tension from her when she speaks to me.

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Rosiejim · 10/05/2020 08:20

Ok, she’s not going to change her behaviour no matter how you behave now and you’re leaving anyway after this? So I’d say absolutely stick up for yourself. Tell her or the whole WhatsApp group that you don’t feel comfortable with a random stranger moving in with you alone and that subletting is not allowed. If she kicks off, so what. You do not have to see her and you move out once the pandemic is over?

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EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/05/2020 08:31

do you have a joint tenancy agreement, or all hold individual ones?
Just trying to work out risk of you being liable for her/others share of rent.

Housemate sonds ghastly - I'd contact the landlord/lady and let them know the housemates intentions, rather than dealing with her - sounds as if it's likely to acheive more.

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monkeymonkey2010 · 10/05/2020 14:51

difficult tenant has tenancy agreement under on name but everything else now is in a different name and she has said she doesn't want to bel recorded here. She also appears to have an eBay business (hence all the stuff she has all over the house)

Of course she doesn't want her name anywhere on the bills to say she actually lives there - she's running a business from your house! She needs proper insurance for that!
I bet your landlord doesn't know his property is being listed as 'business premises' on her documents or that his house insurance is invalid due to that if anything happens to her parcels.....

The 'rent' she's paying is no doubt listed as a business expense and with nothing else in her name she can get away with saying she doesn't live there.

Stop taking her parcels in, chuck her shit into her room instead of letting it take over the communal spaces and TELL YOUR LANDLORD what's going on!

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monkeymonkey2010 · 10/05/2020 14:52

and the 'different name' for everything else - fraud!
STOP enabling her!

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serenada · 10/05/2020 17:33

Thanks everyone

I want to be really clear about this - everything I have said is true (Council tax/camera/living room/garden,etc) absolutely everything. I can clearly sense that when i have done nothing wrong or offensive but other people pick up on silly little things (tuning the toaster plug off) then it is because of something going on wit them - this is not normal behaviour.

Likewise putting a camera in te kitchen - but the landlady's response is strange - hence why I am leaving. She is very nice, etc, etc and very accommodating in many ways (she has reduced their rent at the moment and they will pay it back after lockdown) but she won't get involved in these kind of things as she sees them as house related.

When I piginally moved in, the garden was overgrown but beautiful - loads of shrubs, herbs strategically planted. She had spent a lot of money on it. I said I would take out some weeds that had gone wild and together we looked at what could be done. I also cleared away sacks and sacks of rubbish other tenants left and generally got it back to how it was meant to be. A few weeks later, existing tenants pulled everything out - and I mean everything - every shrub and herb. All the beds were bare.

She came back a few weeks after that and commented on how nice the garden looked?

We have gaps in the floorboards where mice are coming though. The floorboards are very marked, paint splattered and damaged. I don't think they were happy when I put tape over the floorboard gaps (easily removable).

Difficult tenant has hung picture son wall with nails we are not supposed to use - and said she will just polyfill in over when she leaves.

So, landlady has this lovely, quirky old house that is old floors and bare walls which suits me and the others as it is spacious, cheap and well located.

Difficult tenant has filled it with her clutter (floral stuff) but also clothes stuffed everywhere - living room, cupboard in hall, etc. She has posed those as her sharing her lovely things with us and trying to make the place look nice but it is obvious to me she has a business plus her reluctance to have her name down on anything and her outrage all indicates someone with a lot to lose/risk taking/ - as @monkeymonkey2010 fraud. Different surnames is also a huge red flag plus a level of vitriol that doesn't come naturally to ordinary people, I suspect - its too nasty. She doesn't talk to me when she is here and if I see her in teh kitchen I say hello. She ignores this but when a friend of hers was here and say hi as I walked in to the kitchen she turned around and made a point of saying hi to me.

So , school girl, petty stuff. I 've said on here that I am currently immobile (I've broken my hip and am waiting surgery). I am in so much pain some days that I cannot think plus the painkillers make me quite spacy and sleepy. She originally offered to help me with my hip so that I could avoid conventional medicine - that's how unreal she isGrin

Regarding the undocumented guest, I received a message from her saying if she doesn't hear from me she will notify the landlady they want to let the person stay here and everyone is OK with it.

I have sent an email to everyone just saying that they need to speak directly to the landlady about it.

It's weird. There is something really manipulative and wrong about the these people however they have absolutely a sense they are right - delusionally so. They are mired in rights, civil disobedience rhetoric, erc yet they cannot seem to see that the very thing tehy are fighting against is the very thing that is there to help them. Landlady is ex artist - we have a cheap, safe house in London that others would love and yet they seem to want to create problems where there are none.

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serenada · 10/05/2020 17:36

Apologies for typos and garbled post - I'm very tired today but wanted to respond as I feel like I am in a mad house and your responses are exactly what I need to hear.

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serenada · 10/05/2020 17:40

@munwon exactly - landlady will do everything by the book. I suspect that if she says no they will say we don't need to let her know.

@monkeymonkey2010

Absolutely it is fraud.Not sure what landlady will say for an ebay business but yes, they do have t be registered at an address. I have let council tax and internet know that I am leaving and that the accounts will be dealt with by the tenants here from now on.

The crazy thing is that as I was moving out - my stuff is in storage!

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serenada · 17/05/2020 18:03

Well, there has been more fun and games which I won't go in to, today but I am shattered.

When did people start getting so difficult? I think so many people are disillusioned so they are just lashing out at everyone else yet on paper they are all better off than me, have secure jobs/money/health. I don't know why they are so disrespectful and yet polite to everyone else.

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Ajollygoodwrap · 17/05/2020 18:14

If you can, you should alert landlady first before they do. Let her know they want to sublet the place and you don't think it's a good idea because you know she won't accept it. You've also asked them to speak to her first. See what she says. She then knows your stance even if they contact her later.

I wouldn't agree with them too in your position. So sorry to hear about the housemates from hell!

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serenada · 17/05/2020 18:34

The idea of subletting seemed to have gone quiet. We are now sorting out leaving dates/new tenants/bills.

I think the weird thing is the tone of mistrust they are showing me - yet they are the ones not paying up/being devious, etc. I think they have actually been taught that the law as such is wrong and that they have to fight it so when I say we have to pay council tax, its a real issue for them. But they can't be that naive? Surely?

Why keep making an issue when they must know it's me they owe the money to? I keep pointing out the facts. We use splitwise so it is very easy to see everything.

It's just such hard work. I have lived with so many different people and am well travelled yet I have never encountered this before. It is like dealing with very difficult children.

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serenada · 17/05/2020 18:38

@Ajollygoodwrap

Thanks - good advice.

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