Sorry the MH board seems really quiet so posting here for traffic.
I have not been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I think it is something I suffer from, specifically at work.
I am not anxious about meeting friends socially at all, but interactions in the office have me awake all night convincing myself that I looked like a fool or was insensitive or boring- etc.
I’m new in my role, so I always do my best, but just worry that what I think is good is actually mediocre or obvious, or that I miss important things out but nobody tells me. It’s a smallish team and we chat a lot, so I think they’s why the social side is getting blurred with the work side and I’m overthinking those conversations as well.
In normal times, I have the chance to go to work again the next day and the issue goes away or I can make an extra effort to make up for my self-perceived shortcomings. I eventually realise nobody hates me after all (or that they hide it well, ready for my next round of paranoia).
Anyway, over lockdown this has just been growing and growing. Every phone call, every email, every zoom... I am analysing it and berating myself and have convinced myself that everyone thinks I’m an utter tool because of things I’ve said or not said, or the way I’ve said then or not said them. I think it’s quite telling that I end up editing every single one of my messages on Microsoft teams to alter the punctuation, or change a word, add or delete an emoji... etc.
Because contact is so limited I can never ‘move on’ from this, and even though a part of me knows it’s probably all in my head, there have been a few times now where I’ve apologised when perhaps I needn’t have, or been down on myself in some way, or not said much in a zoom call and now that’s the latest thing I worry about - that my colleagues notice this (not to mention the wditing in Teams) and find me irritating for being this way.
They’ve been nothing but lovely to me, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t judging me. It’s such a vicious circle and I am now absolutely dreading the end of lockdown and going back to work.
I don’t know what to do about this, I’m not sure what sort of help I’m after, but I suppose I’d like to hear if anyone is struggling the same, or has had similar difficulties in the past and any advice?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Social anxiety and ending lockdown
20 replies
Hwyrynos · 08/05/2020 13:14
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
14 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
29%
You are NOT being unreasonable
71%
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.