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AIBU that DS's school is not doing enough during these away from school days?

(129 Posts)
Ohlife2020 Thu 30-Apr-20 02:22:20

Honestly, I would not have thought to complain about it until into week 6 of the lockdown.

School has sent a pack of worksheet back home before the lockdown started - about 100 pages including writing topics, maths and some grammar learning. Then started from wk1, work/learning is sent through via Google Classroom every Mon, Wed, Fri. It covers maths, literacy, science, PE (with Joe Wicks), Computing (only once) and some other small subjects.

We initially found it overwhelming to keep up. But by wk6, it's getting clear that the school doesn't expect everyone to keep on track. They kept sending weekly emails to parents reassuring us that they understand homeschooling is stressful so take it easy. But when we hand in any work online, there's no feedback whatsoever. I've also heard other school having teachers ringing pupils to check progress or to have ZOOM calls to keep in touch with the children. His school has no intention to do either. They say "it might upset certain children"...

So literally, we are left alone to fend ourselves. The homeschooling has been going downhill, as his concentration and motivation are both suffering. I battled with him nearly everyday on nearly every single subject - he either didn't want to do anything else other than what he likes (e.g. reading non-fiction) or he felt too frustrated /hurt when I told him his work needed improvement. I realised I might have taken this too seriously, but he's not a self-motivated type. If you let him, he would be happy just do the minimal. So our relationship has suffered quite a bit. This makes me feel angry that the school has been doing so little.

Am I being unreasonable? They are teachers and it's their responsibility to keep the children on track or at least care about it?

Being disconnected from their teacher/school for such a long time and with no end to be seen in near future, I can't imagine what impact this gave to him underneath the surface.

I realised this is a bit long, probably most for a rant I feel I'm reaching the limit and cannot carry on like this. Exhausted and hurt...

OP’s posts: |
Ohlife2020 Thu 30-Apr-20 02:23:10

Forgot to mention, he's in y3.

OP’s posts: |
Hercwasonaroll Thu 30-Apr-20 02:28:23

See the billion other threads on this. Here is a biscuit while you read..

DotBall Thu 30-Apr-20 02:42:22

They are teachers and it's their responsibility to keep the children on track

Yes, when they’re physically at school! At the moment it’s your job FFS.

Having said that, don’t sweat it. Enjoy being together in as many different contexts as you can and be relentlessly upbeat. We will look back on this period as a time when we were genuinely free to just go with the flow. Treasure it. Get the bugger out of bed at 5am tomorrow and go for a dawn chorus walk. He’ll appreciate once he’s up and out 😎

Pieceofpurplesky Thu 30-Apr-20 02:48:21

Another thread?

Howaboutanewname Thu 30-Apr-20 02:49:36

exhausted - children at home, working all hours to get lessons together, managing care of elderly relative and concerns about high risk child. Not slept properly in weeks.

Hurt - because nothing I do is good enough. Too much work, not enough work. Not enough marking. Too much feedback. Using online resources instead of teaching online. Expecting children to turn up to online lessons rather than using all the online resources available....heard it all over and over and over.

Your child is disconnected from school. We are disconnected from our classes. And our families. And our friends. Like everyone else. We’ve never done this before. Neither has anyone else. I can’t imagine what impact this will have long term on my mental health. Very worried about my children. I can direct you to some online resources if you are concerned about your child but you’re his parent, not me. I’m not a mental health professional. You can work that one out yourself. I’m not qualified to diagnose mental health issues in children and even if I was, I couldn’t do it when I couldn’t see or speak privately with the child I was assessing.

Your relationship with your child has suffered because he is not motivated. So motivate him. You’re his parent, you know him best. Or you expect me to motivate him from a distance with my own family wandering around whilst I motivate them to do their schoolwork? My relationship with my children is suffering because I can’t sleep, am tired and my waking hours are largely spent doing school work. Can’t remember the last time I had a conversation with my young teen. But it doesn’t stop me turning up to my online classes, giving it my all and still being told I’m not doing it right.


dontlookbehind Thu 30-Apr-20 02:54:17

I'll bite.

I'm a secondary school teacher, we are setting work via Google classroom, we did a survey of parents to see how they felt about it.
We had a minuscule amount of complaints that work set was too little.
We had a lot of complaints that it was too much, that they(parents) were working from home on their only device so the schoolwork had to wait til evening, that they couldn't get little jonny off CoD long enough to do anything, that the work set was causing too much stress, the work was too hard, the parents couldn't help, it took too long.

From a teachers perspective - live online lessons are a bad idea because many children will not have access at the set time of day (parents working, parents on only PC, multiple children at home trying to do schoolwork at the same time, pupils in childcare (set schools while keyworker parents are working), many homes are not a great place for live lessons (other kids, parents working, sharing rooms etc)
So we record 5 min 'lessons' and then set work like essays, research, questions investigations - all this can be completed at a time that suits the family circumstances.

I set work for 250 kids last week. Parents as well as children can access the work set and a schedule is posted weekly with details of how and where to access things.

50ish of them looked at it.
12 did some of it.
At least 4 of those did some work after midnight. One submitted their essay at 3:26 am.

Everyone is well aware that progress is not happening as usual and the feeling is that doing something is better than nothing. When schools reopen this will be taken into consideration.

You are battling with one child. One. Teachers daily battle with 30+ per class.
Reading anything is great!
Real life stuff can be learning as well - do some cooking, get them to measure the ingredients, work out what the double quantity would be, what the cooking time is, why some things take longer to cook than others.
Whatever you can do is good enough really. Don't stress it, don't stress your child and while sure little tarquin might have had a private online tutor, the vast majority of kids will be muddling along just like yours.

bettybattenburg Thu 30-Apr-20 03:02:29

I'm awake worrying about some of the children with complicated home lives and also thinking of activities which are fun and educational, I'm also checking what my own children need and working out what I can afford to spend on them both to maximise their opportunities for learning and enjoyment.

Sazquatch Thu 30-Apr-20 03:05:47

OP, you come across as one of those arses that forget teachers are human being with lives beyond their jobs. The two posts above sum up my thoughts exactly. We are doing our best in very difficult and different circumstances. Many of us have the added difficulty of computers and systems that don’t work as well as they should, meaning what would take ten minutes in school/an office, takes until lunchtime. I’m just switching off for the day now, but I’ll need to be up and visible online before 9am so arses like you don’t give me shit for not working hard enough.
Give us a break.

DobbinAlong Thu 30-Apr-20 03:13:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DobbinAlong Thu 30-Apr-20 03:15:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlummyMcGlummerson Thu 30-Apr-20 03:17:33

FGS OP what are you actually expecting when teachers aren't in school or working. To pay your precious on the head and say well done? That's plenty of work for Y3! I personally wouldn't accept a zoom call that age from a teacher sounds cringey AF

Namenic Thu 30-Apr-20 03:19:37

Setting work with no answers or marking is extremely irritating (from personal experience - even sec and uni textbooks often do not have answers to exercises). Even if there is no time for marking - at least publish the answers so that the kid has a way to learn (rather than have no idea how on-track they are).

I have a 6 and 2 year old and home ed (pre-corona). Find activities that work with your kid - like try different fiction books to read with him - dragons, school adventures. Scrabble, chess, write a letter to a friend. Find online maths sheets that have answers or you Mark yourself - better to have 10 questions that are marked than 30 unmarked. Sounds like he likes non-fiction - which is great! Second hand books (eg it can’t be true) on amazon can be quite cheap.

For the 6 year old, he can’t go on electronics or tv unless he has done his work in the morning. I found a use it or lose it option helpful for motivation. If X work is not done by 1pm, no time for tv/electronics today - and if only half work is done, only gets half the time to play... but I keep his ‘work’ requirement low because I’d rather him concentrate for 2x 15mins than sit in front of sheets for 2 hours.

Shiraznowplease Thu 30-Apr-20 03:24:50

I can’t praise my dd teacher enough. I am a frontline worker who has gone from part time to full time ++, we were falling behind with work. My dd who is 8, was upset as needs support which we couldn’t always give plus has been really unsettled by all this and worried that I will catch it. My dh been helping out but she hadnt completed all tasks. My dh sent an email saying we were sorry and we will work hard to catch up. The teacher sent us a wondeful email to say not to worry. It made a bad situation so much better. We worked all weekend when I had some time off and have now caught up.
The work set on google classroom is well thought out, all the children in her class seem to love it. The teacher responds to them. I really don’t know how she does it all. While she is an exceptional teacher (she was before all this), I am sure she can’t be the only one and think that people should give teachers the respect they deserve. Lots have there own children and people who wfh seem to forget that teachers are also wfh.

DroppedBoxxedRuth Thu 30-Apr-20 03:39:19

I agree OP but it's not the teachers, it's the school.

And this maybe down to their budget.

Dd1 is remote learning online and the first week took us a while to get the swing of it but now we feel like we know what we're doing - as parents and student.

But, she's only doing probably 1.5 hours all up with multiple faffing about in between. We start at 9 am and she's done by lunch time.

I feel as long as she's doing some work on her maths, reading, writing and Japanese then that's the best we can hope for at the moment.

She's in grade 4.

silenceattheback Thu 30-Apr-20 03:46:40

It's not the teachers or the school.
It's a you problem daffodildaffodildaffodil
Very sorry to hear of your entitlement l, hope you get it sortedthanksthanks

user1473878824 Thu 30-Apr-20 04:00:09

“ They kept sending weekly emails to parents reassuring us that they understand homeschooling is stressful so take it easy.”

Maybe listen to what they’re telling you then. I get that it must be frustrating to get no feedback but the whole school isn’t running as normal just with no children. Also, SHOCKER, maybe these are also people at home trying to wfh with their own children and they’re also finding it hard.

Do what you can. Stop expecting a normal school day from teachers.

user1473878824 Thu 30-Apr-20 04:02:14

Also, as far as I’m concerned, right now, unless a child is actually in school, they have no responsibility for them. You do.

LorenzoStDubois Thu 30-Apr-20 04:10:26

As a parent - its now your turn to step up.
They are your kids - so go take care of them.

Here - have a biscuit

RLGGG Thu 30-Apr-20 04:43:54

Teacher here... 💐🌼🌻 standing in solidarity with my colleagues trying their best in really difficult circumstances 🌸🌼🌸

Biensur40 Thu 30-Apr-20 06:04:51

It's all been said op, already. You sound worried and stressed and I sympathise but these are not normal times. Each school will obviously respond slightly differently and within their capabilities. If you want to be aware of bigger picture, have a look at NEU guidelines for teaching. School can not be replicated online right now. They are setting the work regularly, three times per week, but not providing feedback. That is more than my DC's school.

You sound most stressed by the effect on your relationship with your DC which I have a lot of sympathy for. I think the key at the moment is not to put them off learning. Not sure how old your DC is but as you say you are exhausted and hurt (why hurt?), aim to keep him ticking over - reading (if he likes non-fiction, great, set a project on one of his interests), a bit of maths, some science and then learn through normal life. That's my approach at the moment, anyway.

Reginabambina Thu 30-Apr-20 06:14:38

Realistically the teachers are going to struggle to keep children on track. They should have just called off education for the lockdown period and started again when schools go back. This home schooling business is just going to lead to even more disruption as a result of unskilled parents screwing up and children returning at completely different levels.

eeyore228 Thu 30-Apr-20 06:17:50

You don't like it, you've heard other schools are doing lessons using Zoom. Other parents. have complained about Zoom.lessons because they are using the computer for work as well as 2-3 other children. Schools are being condemned every which way by parents who don't have a Scooby! Think it's so easy! You have your.child to motivate, that's it. The schools have hundreds of.children and their parents to please remotely. You need some perspective.

stuckindoors77 Thu 30-Apr-20 06:22:59

My main question is, what was the school's response when you raised this with them? Did you email or ring them, explain that you were struggling and asking for support? There is a MASSIVE variation in what schools are doing and there is an equally big gap in what parents want us to provide. So why not try actually discussing this with the people who could help you rather than complaining to a load of strangers on the internet?

MsTSwift Thu 30-Apr-20 06:23:36

Teachers get very angry if you say this op.Dd2 primary is the same they send a worksheet every morning but that’s it. None of the work is marked or checked. My sisters 2 at private primary are taught a full day so my sister is able to work.

I really feel for parents working full time with this minimal support I am self employed so able to teach dd2 myself (she’s conscientious and delightful so I have easy job). I don’t know what to say really.

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