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Child maintenance during lockdown

(198 Posts)
Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:05:35

So I got a text from the cms today saying payments are going down to £6.87 a week of something down from £50, DC's dad is self employed I think, has been fiddling his earnings for years. I've been furloughed so am 20% down already, luckily we can still get by, it will be tight though. I get people aren't working to earn money but I feel a bit annoyed that it seems to be the resident parents who are left in the shit in a sense. And yes before you jump on me I get he has Bills to pay too and isn't earning anything, but. I am paying more having DC at home constantly in food, bills etc. Still need clothes and shoes. He's had years of working FT all the hours he can (literally) only declaring a small amount now has a mortgage while I've only been able to work minimum wage/flexible jobs because I cant afford childcare. Like I said luckily we will get by but aibu to think they need to come up with a plan for this? I mean I know people who do rely on maintenance to feed/clothe their kids and if the nrp is able to just call up cms and say I'm not working I cant pay with no questions surely lots of kids are really going to suffer?

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Howaboutanewname Wed 29-Apr-20 12:09:03

I feel your pain. Not had any maintenance for 10 years. People are struggling all over. Parents - mainly mums - who rely on maintenance that is fast disappearing will be at the bottom of anyone’s priority list. No change there.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Wed 29-Apr-20 12:09:43

What plan could they come up with? They can’t take money if a parent isn’t earning it.

Dontfuckingsaycheese Wed 29-Apr-20 12:11:42

17 years here without a single penny. It's doable.

Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:13:29

@icecreamandcandyfloss I dont know, but considering they're paying 80% of wages, self employed can get UC and part of their earnings, they might atleast see if people are being honest in saying they cant pay. For example people calling up and saying I'm not working I cant pay but having thousands sat in a bank account. No checks are being made to back up these claims so it just feels like another way people can not pay for their kids

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Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:15:08

@dontfuckingsaycheese not saying it's not doable. Just saying surely the kids whose parents do rely on that money are the ones who are going to suffer

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PumpkinP Wed 29-Apr-20 12:15:12

I’ve never had a payment. You will have to manage. Many of us get nothing I’m afraid. Not just during Covid. Cms don’t care, that’s why they say cm isn’t to be relied on.

Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:17:31

Again, I havent said I wont manage. I know more than enough about having nothing. Like I said in my OP it's more about the kids whose parents RELY on the money they is now just gone. I did point out twice in my OP I will be fine

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dontdisturbmenow Wed 29-Apr-20 12:17:45

It's tough but sadly nothing that can be done but appeal to him to see if he could help with having the kids more and buying them some essentials.

It's a vicious circle. They should contribute to what should be a need, but then not rely on it in case it stops coming in.

PumpkinP Wed 29-Apr-20 12:18:11

But you’re not suppose to rely on it.

Nicknacky Wed 29-Apr-20 12:20:02

I rely on my husband to bring in a wage but that’s gone just now. Many many people are in the same situation, it’s not that your ex is being a twat (even if he normally is).

IndecentFeminist Wed 29-Apr-20 12:21:14

They should be able to rely on it however

PumpkinP Wed 29-Apr-20 12:22:52

They literally tell you not to rely on it hence why benefits aren’t affected by child maintenance.

Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:25:48

I know you're not suppose to rely on it hence why I dont but obviously some people do, I know families have lost one/more incomes at the moment. Honestly just sat here and felt sad for the kids whose parents do rely on it and wont get it. As I said i just felt bad for the kids who might suffer because of it. Never said my ex was being a twat either not sure where that came from...

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IceCreamAndCandyfloss Wed 29-Apr-20 12:26:13

it just feels like another way people can not pay for their kids

It’s not a new phenomenon, we have a huge amount who don’t pay for their children both RP and NRPs. You only have to look at how much is paid out in benefits to see that.

They don’t look at savings just like you’re not expected to spend savings on living costs before claiming benefits. It would be good if people had to and maybe it will change going forward.

I do wonder if the pandemic will have an impact of people’s thoughts re having children as so many don’t seem to take into account finances and think children don’t cost much.

Nicknacky Wed 29-Apr-20 12:27:07

I never said you said he was a twat but it’s clear from your post you think he’s at it.

PumpkinP Wed 29-Apr-20 12:27:31

Well I feel bad for the kids that never get it. This isn’t a new thing, just more people experiencing it now.

sweeneytoddsrazor Wed 29-Apr-20 12:30:00

The people who rely on it presumably usually get it, so not sure what can be done as it is much the same as losing a wage you normally rely on. Reducing payment would go hand in hand with reducing a salary. This is going to be the same whether you are living together or not. I have no idea if any UC claim he could make would take into consideration any maintenance payment he is due to pay you. So yeah it sucks but if his wages have been cut then obviously his payments will have to reduce.

Waveysnail Wed 29-Apr-20 12:30:32

If he isn't working could he have kids for 50% of week or week about

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend Wed 29-Apr-20 12:31:33

It’s really shitty OP.

I’ve long thought the child support system needs a massive overhaul and paid out of a central fund like child benefit so that even if NRP doesn’t pay the RP can still rely on a basic minimum coming in. Govt could then chase NRP for whatever they decide they owe.

Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:34:53

@waveysnail no apparently not but that's for another thread 😂

I do get everyones point of view. I know lots of people who've never got a penny and that's just as shit. Also understand people aren't working, losing jobs ETC. Not disagreeing with anyone just wondered if other people thought it was weird that people can just call up and say they cant pay and that's that. Also partly needed to engage in a debate that's not with a small child because I'm bored shitless 😂

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DoesJeffKnow Wed 29-Apr-20 12:36:38

The fact that some men simply walk away from their DC not (or barely) contributing financially to their upbringing should be seen as child abuse in my eyes.

If you as their mother decided tomorrow that money was tight and you'd only spend £50 a month on your DC's housing, food, heating, clothes etc, you'd have Social Services sweeping in (rightly so) and be treated as a social pariah; why isn't it the same for men?

I have huge sympathy for you OP.

Like many things in life, the CMS is heavily weighted in the man's favour (& I know that many will now comment that their DP has always paid CM) but the CMS amount is the absolute minimum required by law for the non-residential parent to pay for their DC, however huge numbers get away without paying, it's shameful.

Notyourmumma Wed 29-Apr-20 12:36:49

I feel you on this, on the first week of lockdown I received money as usual 30 mins later I got a phone call from him to give half of it back shock next week I received £20 since then absolutely nothing.

I understand were all going through hard times, I've lost my job so have very little income and just about getting by. There was absolutely no conversation about reducing payments and how it may affect the dc I don't know how some nrp expect to go through life just not contributing to their children and stopping when they feel like it.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Wed 29-Apr-20 12:39:34

So this is a moan thread confused

Yabu, if he’s not earning he can’t pay, yes you may struggle, however others get nothing and others also won’t be getting 80% pay, some after this will be redundant and have no income and then wait 5-7 weeks to get UC.

Idratherbeasleep Wed 29-Apr-20 12:40:17

I agree, I do think system is very in the mens/nrp's favour. Whether it be that they can just not pay at all or only paying a small percentage and nothing can be done is wrong. I think it should be compulsory to pay for your kids and followed through by the government.

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