I've name changed for this because I'm ashamed of myself and will make no excuses for my behaviour. I suppose I'm looking for somebody to tell me I'm not the terrible person I believe I am but am prepared to be told otherwise.
On Saturday I smacked my three year old on the arm, it didn't leave a mark but it was hard enough that it made him cry and shocked him.
I have always been very "anti smacking" yet lost control of myself in the heat of the moment.
The reason it happened (but not an excuse) is because he was lashing out and bit his one year old sibling on the arm hard enough to leave deep teeth marks which are still visible today. I was exhausted and frustrated and lost control.
He has forgotten all about it but the guilt is eating me up.
I want to go and get him out of bed and bring him in with me just so I can hold him, love him and make amends for what I've done. (I won't because he's sleeping, but the urge is strong)
I haven't told DH because I'm a hypocrite, when discussing discipline pre children I made a blanket rule that we would never use physical punishment. DH thinks there is nothing wrong with a tap on the hand whereas I disagreed so made him promise never to do that.
Am I the scum of the earth or is this something you've done too in the heat of the moment?
I hate myself.
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To have smacked my child
158 replies
Temporarilyc · 27/04/2020 00:22
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Kasabian23 ·
27/04/2020 00:23
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27/04/2020 00:31
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27/04/2020 00:37
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