To feel completely at a loss...open marriage. What??!!!!

Rafaroo · 2020-04-23 00:30:08

Tonight my husband has told me he’d like to be in an open marriage because he has problems being faithful. He has also said that he would like to get his own apartment to live in Monday to Friday and come live in our family home on weekends. The idea would be that he can see his girlfriends during the week but be fully present on the weekends. (His words not mine) He clearly thought the whole thing through as he was all prepared with ‘terms and conditions’ and everything. For example, he will only have sex with other women not form an emotional attachment, he will not go on holidays or weekends away with them, he will not buy them gifts..etc. He said he loves me but he needs me to ‘not be naive’ about his ability to remain faithful. He finished up the whole thing by saying he will always provide financially for me and our two kids and prioritise us. He even went so far as to offer to buy me a house in my name only so that I feel secure. (Again, his words). Basically he now wants me to think about it and get back to him. He also said he doesn't mind if i go on dates with other guys as long as i don't sleep with them. That hurt me quite a bit in itself, as I have never indicated I wanted to date other people, but he clearly doesn’t feel jealous or possessive of me. I don't think a spouse should be like that in the extreme, but surely it is a good sign if you feel like that a little bit right? Otherwise, it means you don't really give a damn.... I am gobsmacked. I feel like i have been punched in the stomach. I asked him if this was lockdown craziness talking and he told me that he had been wanting to bring this up for a few months. He said he wanted to wait until i had given birth to our second child (i did, one month ago). I cannot believe it. I don't know whether to cry and feel completely devastated or if I should seriously consider what he is offering and feel glad that he has been honest...i am all over the place. I am only 30. I do love him and I always wanted to build a marriage that lasted. But now I am not sure whether I should run for the hills, chalk it up to experience and hope for better in the future, or if I should give it a go as a way to keep my family together.... Thoughts?

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

This thread has been deleted

This thread has appeared in the wider media, so we've agreed to take it down for the OP.