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Not sure u lot are clever enuff to answer this...

(193 Posts)
AlphaMummyVoiceOfReason Thu 13-Sep-07 15:00:14

My white, Crocs and Boden wearing, home educated daughter (who was delivered by elective CS so as to avoid pushing and include tummy tuck) was brought up on Formula milk laced with fruit shoots and Greggs' sausage rolls, after starting on puree at 14 weeks, which did her no harm. She certainly filled her disposable nappies!

She is so Gifted and Talented that my highly presentable size 8 nanny has to park her 4x4 in the disabled bay, and when she walks my dog next to the children's play area of the local and inferior state school (I'm no racist but it is full of immigrants), she is so busy listening to dd's insightful and well-informed explanation of exactly what happened to Madeleine McCann that she has no time to scoop the poop, thus necessitating the use of organic hemp dog nappies.

We feel that a light smack with the Daily Mail is the best (and kindest) way to limit the questions, or , if she has a modelling assignment coming up, it's easier to send her straight to bed - of course she cries, but will settle herself after a few hours. She can always watch the TV in her bedroom or play computer games if she can't sleep.

My question is: As the nanny at our country house is about to be deported back to Ruritania, should I send DD to boarding school now, or wait until she is seven? And should I allow her to walk there by herself?

Any advice - from longterm MN regulars only - welcomed. No arguments on my thread, you can leave if you don't like it. My views may be controversial but I'm still right.

WendyWeber Thu 13-Sep-07 15:00:50


pageturner Thu 13-Sep-07 15:01:37

<snort> grin

puffylovett Thu 13-Sep-07 15:01:52

{lurks} grin

pageturner Thu 13-Sep-07 15:02:07

Oh, sorry, there was a question wasn't there? yes. And yes.

LoveAngel Thu 13-Sep-07 15:02:16


VidiVickiVENIQV Thu 13-Sep-07 15:02:34

I'd have her adopted you freak an expensive foreign holiday while you think about it. Give her a chance of a normal life nice time before she goes to live with normal people at boarding school.


JocastasMater1974 Thu 13-Sep-07 15:03:01

Send her dahlink

Your hair and nails need attention

You are letting yourself go you know shock

Jocasta's been at boarding school since she was 6 months old. I'd never get anything done otherwise.


Hurlyburly Thu 13-Sep-07 15:03:26


lemonaid Thu 13-Sep-07 15:04:16

It would depend on whether you prefer to focus on the intensive Mandarin classes or the cello lessons. What does her Reiki therapist suggest?

PrettyCandles Thu 13-Sep-07 15:04:21


NormaStanleyFletcher Thu 13-Sep-07 15:04:25


jaynehater Thu 13-Sep-07 15:04:39

You have a *size 8* nanny?


Peachy Thu 13-Sep-07 15:04:54

She can't walk by herself, buy a new Porsche Cayenne for the privilege of that specific journey, run on as low a gear as possible for the sake of the environment (global warming will save you a fortune in San Tropez), and ensure Nanny parks on double yellow lines as the locals will actually appreciate being reminded why they can only park their mediocre cars where the peasants are allowed (eg car parks) and ahve something to aspire to!


CatIsSleepy Thu 13-Sep-07 15:05:33


JocastasMater1974 Thu 13-Sep-07 15:06:05

Send her.

Why just the other day I saw her stealing grapes from Waitrose.

She needs a firm hand or she will end up with an ASBO

lucyellensmum Thu 13-Sep-07 15:07:24

but surely alpha mummy, you don't actually home educate her yourself do you?? But then i guess someone has to teach her how to heat up the sausage rolls. And i guess that can be done while you have your stylist round to advise re the seasons nail colours.

Outrageous, offensive, farking brilliant!

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Thu 13-Sep-07 15:08:23

send her to the more lovely than your home boarding school and hope she doesnt remember who you are at the end!

as for the dog i'd invest in reusables you ungrateful little lapin and save the environment a bit!


Blandmum Thu 13-Sep-07 15:09:03

Good thing you are home educating, of I bet you'd be taking her out of school for holidays on a regular basis wink

Baffy Thu 13-Sep-07 15:09:42

yes and yes

wonderful post, you sound like a lovely mum, hun

Threadworm Thu 13-Sep-07 15:09:46

You do know that everytime you use an organic hemp dog nappy you are undermining the pesticide production industry in China don't you?

Blandmum Thu 13-Sep-07 15:11:05

I bet she doesn't worm her dog either......

JocastasMater1974 Thu 13-Sep-07 15:11:16

I have never agreed with this attachment parenting malarkey.

They need to stand up on their own two feet.

Send her.

Hurlyburly Thu 13-Sep-07 15:12:30


Threadworm Thu 13-Sep-07 15:12:48

Worming dogs is outrageously anti-parasite, martianbishop. I'm reporting you.

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