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to expect my friend to pick up my crying baby?

(13 Posts)
Helpmeouthere Thu 13-Sep-07 14:51:20

I have name changed for this as friend uses the site, apologies.

I have 3dcs, youngest is 4w. I was out today with middle (aged 3) and youngest DC and friend with her DD aged 3. Youngest was asleep in pram and I took middle to the toilet leaving youngest with friend. When i came back (was a little while, you know how it can be!) my baby was howling like a banshee, in middle of the playground! Friend sat there, her dd playing nearby and said sorry she hadnt picked baby up to console her but you know how jealous her dd gets if she holds babies. This is true, her DD always cries and tells her to put the baby down mummy so she never holds my children at all for cuddles etc but i expected her to do so in this case and to explain to her 3 year old what she was doing. TBH I think 3 is old enough to have to take a bit of jealousy on the chin. I was really upset by this. Would you have been or am I blowing it out of proportion?

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Thu 13-Sep-07 14:55:30

YANBU, i would expect a friend of mine to pick up a 4wo if it were crying. a bit hmm about your friends reaction tbh, my dd iddnt like the fact i had ds, but she got over it! they all have to be jealous of somebody/thing at some point!

Missblossom Thu 13-Sep-07 14:56:15

I would of thought she could rock the pram at the very least

francagoestohollywood Thu 13-Sep-07 14:59:55

I have a dear friend who it's just like that, and it upsets me a lot. yanbu

melsy Thu 13-Sep-07 15:00:45

Its one thing to pander to childrens needs , its another when it means another child doesnt get comfort or to not upset another childs overt sensitivities, its just enabling their behaviour to escalate to other things. The 3 yr old needs some lessons in the real world !! poor little baba sad.

tibsy Thu 13-Sep-07 15:03:33

i dont think yabu at all. heck I would have wanted to pick your baby up if i'd been there and would have been very upset if my dd had been left to cry.

LoveAngel Thu 13-Sep-07 15:03:48


pampam Thu 13-Sep-07 15:20:03

yanbu. How could she leave such a tiny one to cry? About time she started teaching her 3yo about sharing and helping those who are smaller/more vulnerable than ourselves, what an excellent way that would have been to start.

VidiVickiVENIQV Thu 13-Sep-07 15:22:50

I hope your friend sees this, actually.

And sees this:

WTF are you doing, pandering to a 3yo like this? There was a 4wo baby crying today and you sat right next to it and did nothing?!

I think that's borderline inhuman, really.

(NOT posted by VVV, posted by HM)

fireflyfairy2 Thu 13-Sep-07 15:23:45

YANBU. And I would have made it extremely clear to her that I was not impressed!

I was out recently with my 2 children (5y & 2y) My friend has 3 (4y, 2y & 6months) She took her 4yr old & her 2yr old to the toilet, leaving her baby on a rug beside me on the beach. When she came back I had her ds plus my 2 on my knee... her ds was on my knee as he had got some sand in his pudgy little hand & was attempting to eat it hmm My 2 were on my knee 'cos there was a dog on the beach.....

She laughed when she saw me.. or could hardly see my past children should I say grin

I think your friend was being very unreasonable.

pampam Thu 13-Sep-07 15:25:35

lol ff2

oliveoil Thu 13-Sep-07 15:26:36


I overpower and annoy hover over new babies all the time and dd2 used to get jealous if I picked them up

tough imo

Helpmeouthere Thu 13-Sep-07 15:44:17

Thanks all.
I felt pretty guilty for leaving baby as she made it clear that I knew her dd was the jealous type and that is why she had never picked up baby before. I didnt expect her to wake to be honest and other dc ended up faffing in the loo for ages. I just couldnt bear to think how long she had been crying as she was all puce!
My reason for posting was to check I wasnt having a hormone induced over sensitive moment!

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