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To think this is not really in the spirit of things?

(137 Posts)
tinkywinkyshandbag Fri 10-Apr-20 18:34:08

So my in-laws who are both in their 80s live about 20 minutes walk from our house. Pre-lockdown we would often get together with them on a Friday evening for a gin and tonic or glass of wine.

Since lockdown we haven't seen them apart from briefly to drop off some shopping et cetera and we have been strict about maintaining social distance.

I know my mother-in-law has found a lockdown down hard as she is very sociable and it took us a few weeks to convince her that she had to take it seriously.

Anyway, this evening my DH and our 15-year-old daughter went off for a walk for their daily exercise, fair enough. At the same time or 18-year-old daughter took yourself out for a run, again fair enough.

About half an hour later the phone rang and it was my mother-in-law. It seems that my husband and daughter had magically just arrived at their house, our other daughter was on her way, and the plan was for them all to stand out in the street and have a drink and a chat. By drink I mean bottle of wine et cetera.

I was invited over to join them. mulled it over and then called back to say that I wouldn't join them, to a somewhat frosty reception, They clearly thought I was being a bit of a killjoy.

However I don't think this is really in the spirit of the lockdown. We live in a very touristy area and there has been a lot of publicity about keeping the tourists away and everybody staying at home. I think that I was all standing out in the street drinking wine and having a laugh is not really the thing to do in this situation. Even if social distance is maintained, it still doesn't sit right with me.

I am now expecting that when they eventually get home I will get stick from DH about being antisocial. However I think I am in the right. AIBU?

Mistystar99 Fri 10-Apr-20 18:36:46

You aren't but I'm not sure they are either

JasonPollack Fri 10-Apr-20 18:38:59

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Even in the street they're still mixing households. What about the wine glasses? Did your DH take them, did your MIL sanitise them?

I'd be pretty pissed off by the ruse also.

lemontreebird Fri 10-Apr-20 18:39:11

I'd be upset by your family's deception.

P1nkHeartLovesCake Fri 10-Apr-20 18:46:40

Well drinking wine in the street isn’t exercise is it? No where does the government guidelines say it’s ok to drink wine in the street

The fucking advice is STAY HOME only go out for work, exercise, food, medicine, caring for the vulnerable. Drinking wine in the street is none of those

This is the reason the country will live in lockdown for weeks to come, adults that are unable to follow a simple set of rules. A few selfish bastards, are making this lockdown go on longer for all of us.

Appiandterri Fri 10-Apr-20 18:53:30

It’s infuriating that so many people are ignoring the strict rules, looking for loopholes and thinking how clever they are for managing to see friends/family, when nearly a thousand people died today.

tootiredtoconga Fri 10-Apr-20 19:02:01

YANBU. We are allowed out once daily to exercise. Standing around drinking and chatting is not ok, even if you do some exercise on the way there and back and your family know this, but clearly they think the rules should bend to suit them anyway. People who try find loopholes to get out of following the rules thinking they're clever for doing so are just as bad as those who openly refuse to follow the rules, if not worse because at least the latter group are honest about it! Well done for making a stand and if I were you I would be telling them all how utterly disappointed I was in them when they all get home from their little gathering.

Sparticuscaticus Fri 10-Apr-20 19:04:03

Ugh. Some People are always trying to find loopholes aren't they? Because it doesn't apply to them, they're not sick yada yada.

No they can't have a glass of wine with the in-laws in the street, that's a social gathering even pretending it's at a distance until you go to pick up wine glasses & same bottle of wine ... others see you and think it's ok... People have been asked to STAY HOME!! People mustn't plan meet ups, even at distance.

You don't want to know what I've been doing all day, It involves preparing for what is to come in hospital capacity. We've been hectic with all sorts of emergency planning.
I beg people to stay home.

WakeAndBake Fri 10-Apr-20 19:06:40

@P1nkHeartLovesCake This is the reason the country will live in lockdown for weeks to come, adults that are unable to follow a simple set of rules. A few selfish bastards, are making this lockdown go on longer for all of us.

More people getting sick quicker makes the lockdown shorter, actually. And Matt Hancock has said there is spare capacity in intensive care and enough ventilators. So a little cautious relaxation of the rules is probably fine.

WantToBeMum Fri 10-Apr-20 19:08:27

You are in the right, they are being irresponsible. How will your husband and daughters feel if his parents/their grandparents come down with the virus now? The 2-metre distancing is aimed at if you must be around people for shopping etc you keep a safe distance. That doesn't mean hanging around chatting and drinking in the street for ages is ok, that's a prolonged exposure even from a couple of metres away. We all understand how hard it is, I desperately miss my own parents, but I'm keeping away for their sake and they understand that. Well done you for doing the right thing and staying home!

ssd Fri 10-Apr-20 19:09:34

I just can't get my head around your dh, kids and his parents who think this is OK. They must not watch TV or the radio or social media. They must live in a bubble of self righteousness.
Be glad you have the sense to know this us wrong op. Hopefully they will take notice of you.

Sparticuscaticus Fri 10-Apr-20 19:16:56

More people getting sick quicker makes the lockdown shorter

No , it means more deaths. Those spare ventilators you mention will be fall in full use soon enough. What we don't want is for medics to have to make difficult decisions about who we give them to and who not.
And all the other patients who get ill with other things that need them and hospital beds - we still have people with the usual COPD exacerbations, strokes, heart attacks, progressive illnesses like MND, cancer, those illnesses don't stop for a pandemic

rosiejaune Fri 10-Apr-20 19:19:20

The government model was based on only 50% of the population complying with the rules. In reality it's more than that, plus some who are partially complying.

So it's not actually going to do any harm, especially since they were out anyway and keeping their distance.

People just like following rules more than they like thinking logically.

Waveysnail Fri 10-Apr-20 19:20:59

10 min chat in passing- fine. Sitting drking wine - nope

Sparticuscaticus Fri 10-Apr-20 19:24:59

rosiejaune you obviously know better than medical professionals.
How silly of all us to have spent Good Friday emergency planning when we could have just relaxed with a glass of wine the street
Thankyou for reassuring us all. I will sleep easier tonight.

ScrapThatThen Fri 10-Apr-20 19:25:19

Just say have fun I won't risk the police caution or the virus being passed on thanks but I do miss you and look forward to seeing you. Neutral.

P1nkHeartLovesCake Fri 10-Apr-20 19:25:49

Those “spare” ventilators will quickly be in use if people keeping breaking the rules. Then what will dave the idiot do? Reckon he will stock think it’s ok to break the rules then?

5foot5 Fri 10-Apr-20 19:26:49

I am guessing that they arranged this without telling you because they knew what your reaction would be. To be perfectly honest I don't think they were doing anything too risky so long as social distancing was maintained and hands were washed etc.

I think when people on here get wound up about how others want to "find loopholes" they just mean "find a way of having some fun despite the lock down"

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner Fri 10-Apr-20 19:28:54

More people getting sick quicker makes the lockdown shorter
Good Lord sad 🤦🏾‍♀️

shineaflight Fri 10-Apr-20 19:31:10

Are they all jogging on the spot whilst drinking wine?

They're being fucking ridiculous

lljkk Fri 10-Apr-20 19:34:52

I'm not perfect so I don't expect other people to be.

I dunno what you want OP, support for your moral highground? If you know you're right what does it matter what MNers think.

Alsohuman Fri 10-Apr-20 19:35:59

I think when people on here get wound up about how others want to "find loopholes" they just mean "find a way of having some fun despite the lock down"

Ain’t that the truth.

Littleposh Fri 10-Apr-20 19:36:20

I'm impressed, honestly thought we had seen all the original, stupid comments possible by now but

More people getting sick quicker makes the lockdown shorter

and

The government model was based on only 50% of the population complying with the rules. In reality it's more than that, plus some who are partially complying.

blast all others out of the park

Macncheeseballs Fri 10-Apr-20 19:37:20

Yanbu.

Turquoiseeyes Fri 10-Apr-20 19:39:11

If your sons in law are in their 80s how old are you?
They're wrong and you are right. Bending the rules isn't in the spirit. Can't believe the stupidity of some people.
I hope they enjoy the draconian rules that will be on their way.

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