To not like DH's plans for a rugby tour with DS (7.5) ?

[quandry]

DS (7.5) plays in a minis rugby team. It's a very sociable club, and the Dads and Mums get involved a lot.

Anyway, they are planning a 'tour' for the Under8s team in November - a weekend trip and an overnight stay in a town about 4 hours away. The kids get to play some games against the local U8 teams on the Sunday.

Both DH and DS were interested in going and I said fine, I would stay home with DD (4). But after hearing a few of the Dads talking about it I'm not so sure.
"It'll be great fun - once we pack the kids off to bed we'll hit the bar and have some fun..."

The accommodation is in a city hotel in twin rooms (Dad+ child per room), so the 'packing the kids off to bed presumably means leaving them alone in the room.

I talked to DH about it last night and told him I wouldn't be happy with that arrangement.I suggested the kids could all stay up a bit later (10.30pm?) and then go to bed with the grown ups. DH just got a bit huffy and said he 'didn't know what the arrangements were, and 'wouldn't be able to go against the grain' if that's what everyone else is doing'.

This morning he is all huffy, and being a martyr and just saying he won't go.

The thing is, although I trust DH on his own with DS, I know that we may have different parenting styles from some of the other (more vocal) members of the club, so DH obviously feels uncomfortable challenging their views.

But now I'm p*ssed off that he would rather not go than try to find an alternative solution.

I think I probably also have a fear of a bunch of hungover blokes being responsible for a group of young children...

[FluffyMummy123]

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[FluffyMummy123]

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[bozza]

I see your point. Although I think a load of kids who have been up until 10.30 the night before will not make much of a rugby team TBH though it does seem very young to do this sort of thing, more what I would expect at 10 or 11.

[quandry]

I wonder if secretly DH doesn't want to go, and is relieved I've given him an excuse.

I don't want to go - I hate all that stuff - and I'll just end up watching out for everyone else's kids.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[Starbear]

Not comfortable with 'when the kids are in bed' But you know your DH. I would trust mine. Or would I Thankfully my DH and friends are all OLD dads and surprised to be Dad's at all. Again I would be worried about hangover Dad's driving in the morning. Talk to the other Mums who are part of the tour. Why do men do this to us

[CoffeeCrazedMama]

I wonder if there is a little bit of talking up going on here by the other dads? Dh and ds are involved in our local minis rugby and have gone on tour the past 2 years. They have stayed in holiday parks in static vans, sharing with other fathers and sons. Dh has never left ds alone in the van - the kids tend to stay up late-ish while the dads (and there are usually a few mums)have a few drinks in the complex bar. When ds is tired they head off to the van together. Rugby minis is very big on health and safety and child protection - how about having a quiet word with the team manager or secretary who will no doubt be organising this, to see what the real plans are?

[snorkle]

I know someone whose rugby friends got drunk and for some reason decided to give one of their ds's (a friend of my ds) a haircut. He was about 8 and had to be shaved they made such a bad job of it. Fortunately the lad seemed to see the funny side, but his mum was furious. You are wise to be wary.