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AIBU?

To ask friends to stop posting pictures of their children outside

179 replies

Fruitteatime · 08/04/2020 22:45

I feel sick to my stomach every time I see photos of friends children enjoying their gardens. Just feel so guilty that dd and ds don't have the same chance to be outside as we live in a flat. I'm really worried for my mental health and theirs. I normally don't care because I felt we had a good balance between getting out and about and being at home.

I absolutely appreciate that this is preferable to having covid or overwhelming the nhs. I'd really like to know how I can shake this feeling though and what I can do to help my children.

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Winnietheshit · 08/04/2020 22:46

YABU. Can’t you go for walks?

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Gamble66 · 08/04/2020 22:47

You can walk and you can come off Facebook - it hard but not complicated

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Olawisk · 08/04/2020 22:48

No you cannot ask people to do this.

Go out for a walk.

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Minesacider · 08/04/2020 22:48

I'm sorry you're struggling like this, I would stop following your friends' pages for a while. You don't have to remove them from your friends list, but you can opt not to see their photos for a while.

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fairynick · 08/04/2020 22:48

I really feel for people for live in flats atm, especially those with young kids and now that the weather is nice.
Of course YABU to ask people not to share those photos, but maybe be kind to yourself and hide them from your Facebook news feed.
Haven’t got much advice expect for hang in there OP.

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Fruitteatime · 08/04/2020 22:49

Yes we can go for one walk a day. Ds is a toddler though so can't walk far. We could take buggy but then if we stay out long enough for dd to get some proper exercise he'd need a snack and I don't feel like snacking outside is acceptable at the moment.

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LuluBellaBlue · 08/04/2020 22:49

Unfollow people for the time being or get off FB. Why can’t you brake your children out for a long walk each day?

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LuluBellaBlue · 08/04/2020 22:50

Why can’t you snack outside???

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blue25 · 08/04/2020 22:51

No you can’t ask your friends to do that. Very strange that you see them as the problem. Come off Facebook if it upsets you that much.

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Embracelife · 08/04/2020 22:52

Your toddler wont see your social media photos.
Of course he can snack outside.
Take water and a snack and sit somewhere for five minutes to eat it. Just move on if you get asked to.

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DonnaDarko · 08/04/2020 22:52

Facebook is the thief of joy.

I would unfollow those people and focus on what you can do as a family

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Minesacider · 08/04/2020 22:52

Enjoy your daily walk OP, you're doing the best thing by sticking to the lockdown requirements. There will be people living in a flat who envy you being able to go outdoors, because they may have to be inside shielding/isolating. We're all just muddling through this as best we can.

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SuperMumTum · 08/04/2020 22:53

For a start come off social media or severely limit what you look at. People are always posting pictures of their "happy lives" which are often very very far from the truth. Try yo accept your situation (no garden) and do things like maximise your daily exercise allowance by trying new routes, challenges, races, borrow a dog for walks, maybe grow seeds on a window sill and get close to nature in other ways. My kids have enjoyed doing yoga on YouTube recently which is great for mental health and remaining mindful and grounded. Good luck you will get through it and your kids will hopefully have some fond memories of your family time.

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Xmasbaby11 · 08/04/2020 22:53

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Definitely unfollow friends if it's upsetting you.

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TheReluctantCountess · 08/04/2020 22:53

Snooze them for 30 days on FB.

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PleasantVille · 08/04/2020 22:53

There's no rule about children having a snack outside, please don't make your children miss out on fresh air for such a non reason. Actually how would you need to be out for before they need a snack 2 or 3 hours? That's plenty.

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FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 08/04/2020 22:54

Don't feel guilty, lots of people live in flats, and yes it's hard. Take them out for walks, I would think it's fine to give your kids snacks as you walk along, if necessary. Buggy should be fine.

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buckeejit · 08/04/2020 22:54

yabu. take a snack, but yes it is hard. Just remember its not forever. Hide them or stay off SM for a while. Good luck

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CaryStoppins · 08/04/2020 22:54

You don't need a snack just to go for a walk for an hour, and even if you did he could eat it in the buggy if you prefer.

I'd come off Facebook though if it's just stressing you out.

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mochojoes · 08/04/2020 22:55

I feel for you but you can't expect other people to not post garden photos because you don't have a garden. What about if someone posts a toy you don't have or eggs (which I can't get). By all means come off social media though.

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Fruitteatime · 08/04/2020 22:55

Thank you, I actually unfollowed a friend who regularly posts conspiracy theories a few months ago. I didn't think about doing it for people I actually like and usually enjoy seeing their posts and photos. So I will do that and I have uninstalled Instagram. I hope this makes a difference as although we still talk via WhatsApp and videoncall the photos are hitting me hardest.

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Redglitter · 08/04/2020 22:56

No you absolutely cant ask people to stop posting photos. As pp said you either need to unfollow/snooze people or come off fb.

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Confused866 · 08/04/2020 22:56

There’s no reason your son can’t have a snack outside if you’ve brought it from home and you’ve just been out walking, presuming there’s nothing for him to touch. You could just take hand gel with you as well and put some on his hands before he eats. If you’re out for an hour or so though surely he can go an hour without eating? Hide your friends posts if it makes you feel bad but don’t ask them to stop posting, that’s not fair. Everyone’s just trying to make the best of the situation we’re in, get your kids out for an hour a day and remember that some nice photos on social media don’t mean a lot, your friends may be struggling in other ways even if they have a nice garden so don’t dwell on it too much!

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minipie · 08/04/2020 22:57

A toddler snacking outside is fine IMO - just take a tub so you can catch any crumbs in case people get sniffy about that. Please do make the most of your daily exercise time, whether you get looks or not.

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Trying2310 · 08/04/2020 22:57

I think you are being unreasonable. It is not your friends fault or responsibility that you do not not have a garden so why should they not post pictures of their kids in their gardens on their social media? Yes, it might be hard for you to see but the postings are on their accounts so you have no right to ask them to take it off or refrain from posting. We can all be impacted by looking at what others are doing on fb etc and feel like we are falling short but think logically about it.
How many snaps did it take before getting that perfect picture? , the kids in the photos maybe were fighting the bit out before or after the photo. Try not to be sucked into the comparisons using social media postings. I think for your own mental health you should not access your accounts if it is causing you distress.

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