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To be furious with my parents

(211 Posts)
SamsMumsCateracts Tue 07-Apr-20 16:13:36

They are in their sixties, DDad has a health condition, and they are just not following guidelines. They keep popping out, together and independently for completely unnecessary things from the shops, think gardening items, sweets, magazines etc. These are two intelligent, educated people, who fully understand and use the internet, so they don't need to pop out for a Take a Break etc.

My DM has also been going to visit my 92 year old a great Aunt who barely made it through the last year health wise.

They keep insisting that I pop the kids in the car and drive to theirs to exchange Easter and birthday gifts for the DC, then get angry when I try to explain why we won't be doing that, as apparently all their friends are doing it, "it's only one little trip, it won't matter", etc.

I'm fed up of being made out to be paranoid and neurotic, when I'm just trying to keep us all safe.

Anyone else feel like their parents just don't get it?

Daisiest Tue 07-Apr-20 16:17:14

Mine haven't left the house in over three weeks. I'd be going crazy if they were popping out. It's so reckless.

You must be worried sick thanks

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Tue 07-Apr-20 16:17:19

Yes. Mine are much older, both with underlying health issues and think that going on the bus to Asda is just fine. Plenty of people to shop for them, are shopping for them, but they just can't seem to get it through.

In fact they never even go out much usually, it's as if being told they can't has put a rocket up them!

AdoraBell Tue 07-Apr-20 16:20:05

Tell them to ask their MP. GP surgery, local church etc about this. They can tell a vicar/priest/politician/Doctor that you are so unreasonable because you won’t do what they want and ask them why they think you are doing this.

Then stick to your guns.

GoodnessSake Tue 07-Apr-20 16:23:28

Yeah my parents have a "doesn't apply to us" attitude, it's annoying but you won't change their mind. You can keep yourself and your DCs away though.

oohnicevase Tue 07-Apr-20 16:25:45

Yes .. my mum is . She lives alone and pops to the shop daily for something to do .. ffs!!.. she just won't listen.. she thinks I'm worried about her but in reality I'm worried about myself because she has way more change of being exposed than us as we have been housebound for weeks aside from about 5/6 walks

QuacksInTheDark Tue 07-Apr-20 16:27:12

FIL in his 70s but healthy. Doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone but himself he’s carrying on as normal going out when he wants and drives to our house regularly to drop off random unnecessary shit we haven’t asked for. Tried to get the kids to hug him on the doorstep and acted hurt when I said no. He an arse.

SamsMumsCateracts Tue 07-Apr-20 16:35:35

Isn't it infuriating! I got told not to treat them like children today, when I told them to stop going out for silly reasons, but what do they expect? They're acting like defiant teenagers!

Glad to hear though that some parents are taking it seriously, if only they all would.

Humina Tue 07-Apr-20 16:37:56

My neighbours in their 70s/80s go out every day for food and have just had family over. I've told them I'd go for them. I'm at a bit of a loss.

yearinyearout Tue 07-Apr-20 16:44:42

Maybe they will take notice of BJ's letter, apparently they've started arriving today.

Applejaxx Tue 07-Apr-20 16:44:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Couchbettato Tue 07-Apr-20 16:45:23

FIL is in his late 60s. MIL died 7 years ago to cancer leaving behind 5 kids, with DH being the eldest in a wide range of ages. The others are still living at home, and are financially dependent on FIL.

FIL played the system and got sickness payments even though he's a self employed contractor so wouldn't qualify for government assistance and actually needs money because there's still 5 people living in the house.

We've told him to stay home because we'd end up lugged with the kids if he died, which we just couldn't cope with financially or emotionally and we also don't want him to get sick but he's cooked his goose by being a twatbag liar. He is still working every goddamn day and going to the shops.

We're furious with FIL for lots of reasons, the fact he's refusing to socially distance or work safely and cancel all non-essential work is just the tip of the iceberg.

Gran22 Tue 07-Apr-20 16:48:58

We are a couple in our 70s. My OH has some health issues so he's barely left the house. Just one short walk to the GP to hand in his repeat prescription. I have had to make some supermarket trips, in the car on my own and observed social distancing rules. We have no family nearby to shop for us. We have managed to get a delivery slot tomorrow so that means I won't have to leave the house for a while.

We didn't see any of the family on mothers day, we all agreed not to visit until we get the say so. Its so much harder for many young families, we oldies should be setting an example!

stardance Tue 07-Apr-20 16:48:56

My grandparents are in their 80s and still going out. It's within the 'rules' eg they'll go for one walk a day, buy a newspaper, and if they need shopping they'll get it while they're out. They do go separately but that's not new for them.

We've told them they should be staying in, they have family who could deliver shopping etc.

Their attitude is 'what will be will be' !

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 07-Apr-20 16:49:35

There’s nothing you can do. Those of us in healthcare are so used to this optimistic attitude patients have that it’s not surprising at all.

It’s beyond infuriating though that their loved ones who care so much get ignored though.

Alsohuman Tue 07-Apr-20 16:50:44

Maybe they will take notice of BJ's letter, apparently they've started arriving today

Ours arrived on Saturday. It won’t change a thing. We’re boomers. I go out around every ten days to do a shop and walk the dog after 6pm when there are fewer people about. Around here it’s teenagers who are being ridiculous.

bluegrasse Tue 07-Apr-20 16:51:40

Mine went on a two mile walk (I doubt they could walk two miles but that's what they said) and sat in the park today shock I wish the community police would see them and have a word.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall Tue 07-Apr-20 16:52:28

My ILs have been the same, finally managed to get MIL to stop popping over but that was only because our local council suggested people should report behaviour like that which my friend fell foul of but she at least had the excuse of being the carer for the person she was visiting . DH had to lay on thick too about how the DC did miss them but they'd rather have alive grandparents at the end of this, they are also not seeing their friends plus it's not like ILs aren't tech savvy enough to see them from a distance. I suspect MIL will be the death of me through worry rather than anything else!

ThePerfect1IThinkNot Tue 07-Apr-20 16:58:50

My mum is 89 and has early stages dementia. She lives independently but I do her shopping for her and all her paperwork.

I arrived with her shopping yesterday and she was just leaving to go out for a walk with a friend who is also in her 80’s. I felt so angry with her and her friend (who should have known better). It s the first time her friend has asked her to go out. I know I can put it down to the early stages dementia that she might have forgotten. My mum rang yesterday evening to say she so enjoyed the walk. I said again that she was breaking the rules. I ended up putting the phone down on her as I felt so angry.

BubblesBuddy Tue 07-Apr-20 17:01:08

People are allowed to go for a walk and I’m in my 60s and can certainly manage 2 miles in 1 hour!!! It’s ok to go to the shops a couple of times a week too. Once every 10 days isn’t ok if you like bananas and fresh bread!

My DM who is in her 90s is going for walks but not doing shopping. Neighbours are doing that. She likes to keep moving. Most people I know are being sensible! Old or young.

StrangerDays Tue 07-Apr-20 17:03:59

I've had to stop talking to my parents.

They were going out and about as much as they could, telling me I was a 'programmed sheep' and my 'D'M is a bit batshit and thinks it's all 5G related.

If she needs anything she knows where I am but I'm not phoning anymore, it's like speaking to a stubborn and stupid brick wall.

ssd Tue 07-Apr-20 17:06:42

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Quarantino Tue 07-Apr-20 17:09:57

Not sure I'd do this myself, but could you say that someone they know (but are unlikely to contact) has got it badly and have been asked by nhs to get your parents to make a list of everyone they've been near, for contact tracing? That might at least make them think about all the people they could have infected.

Lippy1234 Tue 07-Apr-20 17:10:13

All my elderly neighbour are constantly out and about, multiple dog walks each day. Sharing and lending each other stuff, popping out for the paper etc.

Cactuscube Tue 07-Apr-20 17:11:20

My mum is like this.

She has corona now sad

Impossible to tell them until its too late.

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