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To sit in his ex's garden today and 'have a beer'.

(85 Posts)
DollyDaydream70 Sun 05-Apr-20 13:33:10

Hi everyone, hope you're all safe and well.

I have a 2yr long distance relationship with my partner. We usually see each other on the weekend but can't atm due to the current restrictions. My partners best friend is an ex girlfriend who he was with for a few years many years ago. They live close to each other and speak on the phone every day, she is in a relationship with someone else now.

I'm not threatened by their relationship in any way and get on well with the ex girlfriend.

My issue is this: In a telephone conversation this morning my partner told me that he is going to go over to the ex's house today where she has alloted him a corner of her garden, he plans to take her up on the offer and go for 'a couple of beers'. Surely this is not observing the current restrictions on social distancing?

He asked me do I think it's ok (part of me thinks he wants me to make an issue of it). I just told him he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, he knows the risks.

I'm currently not seeing him due to the travel restrictions and the fact that I'm an NHS worker working closely with Covid-19 positive patients.

I just wanted to ask your opinions on this. I'm not the Corona Police, but I thought this kind of thing was vetoed at the moment?

HollowTalk Sun 05-Apr-20 13:36:11

This was specifically mentioned as something we're not to do. There are people who can't see their own children or elderly parents. He has no reason to do this and is a selfish idiot if he does.

JuanSheetIsPlenty Sun 05-Apr-20 13:36:21

Is he bringing his own beer and chair? Or will he sit on the grass? Will he need to use the toilet while he’s there? Will he have to open their gate? Will he have to drive or use public transport to get there? Will he have to touch any gates or handrails or doors to get there? Does she have children who will forget the 2m rule and get close to him?

LockedInMadness Sun 05-Apr-20 13:42:53

Well it's against the rules so I'd say he's a twat, sorry.

HaveAtEm Sun 05-Apr-20 13:47:52

He's a twat...and you probably know it 🤷‍♀️

Lllot5 Sun 05-Apr-20 13:49:00

I haven’t seen my mum, my sister, nieces or nephews. Children or grandchildren for weeks now, just like everyone else who is following the rules. I’m am not doing this so people can go sit in their mate’s garden for a few fucking beers.
I’m not sweating at you op I know it’s not you who is going but ffs.

Lllot5 Sun 05-Apr-20 13:49:54


IamtheDevilsAvocado Sun 05-Apr-20 13:50:36

He's a twat... And a grown twat at that!

Mulanlin Sun 05-Apr-20 13:52:22

They still have feelings for each other

IamtheDevilsAvocado Sun 05-Apr-20 13:52:41

These idiots dibt seem to understand.... Of they don't mind getting sick... It's all the other completely observant people they'll infect....

The NHS staff they'll infect.... The health people that are going home to their shielded partners with MS/Cancer /mnd...

Can't he just speak on the phone...?? Is that too fucking diffocult for him??

I'm missing my pals but we're face timing

iheartislesofwight Sun 05-Apr-20 13:55:56

the sun brings out the twats,

DollyDaydream70 Sun 05-Apr-20 13:57:16

@Mulanlin whether they do or don't, what does that have to do with my post? Please explain?

DollyDaydream70 Sun 05-Apr-20 14:01:46

I agree with all of your responses (apart from Mulanlin's, which has nothing to do with my post?!?). I don't even really understand why my partner told me. He knows I'm a frontline hospital worker who is seeing people getting very sick and dying of this illness now. A part of me thinks he wants to get a 'rise' out of me. For what reason, I don't know, maybe he wants to make it about his ex, but I would be angry no matter who he was planning to go and sit with!

DollyDaydream70 Sun 05-Apr-20 14:03:39

I'd like to hear the opinions of the 9% who think I'm being unreasonable. Do they also think it's ok to go and have a beer in someone's back garden? Come on people, show yourselves!

BlackCatSleeping Sun 05-Apr-20 14:07:52

It might be the way you phrased the question. Your title asks if you would be unreasonable to go and sit in his Ex's garden today and have a beer, which of course would make you unreasonable.

You must be under a huge amount of stress right now. Why not tell him the truth that it os against the rules and he shouldn't be doing it?

Devlesko Sun 05-Apr-20 14:08:09

He's a twat and looking for excuses to break the law, couldn't be with someone so shallow tbh.

AmelieTaylor Sun 05-Apr-20 14:10:25

He’s breaking the rules


He’s being a wank badger.

I’d probably dump him, but I don’t suffer fools OR people that deliberately try to hurt/upset me.

Thank you for doing your job, it’s much appreciated 🌷

Ethelfleda Sun 05-Apr-20 14:13:21

I absolutely cannot wait until these morons cause the rest of us to have one of our very few remaining civil liberties taken from us. I shall do a slow clap on my doorstep every night at 8pm to let them know how proud I am of them and their lack of intelligence.

Irial Sun 05-Apr-20 14:13:47

He asked me do I think it's ok (part of me thinks he wants me to make an issue of it). I just told him he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, he knows the risks.

Well he's a dick then, and a childish immature one at that

recycledbottle Sun 05-Apr-20 14:14:24

I would be less concerned about the logistics of the garden and more about the fact he can live without seeing you but cant live without seeing her.

Sparklesocks Sun 05-Apr-20 14:15:43

NHS staff are getting changed in their cars so they don’t risk infecting family members, surely not going to another persons house for a beer isn’t difficult

Roostersmum2 Sun 05-Apr-20 14:17:03

Yanbu. He's a selfish idiot

TheGoogleMum Sun 05-Apr-20 14:18:03

It's because of people like him they might ban exercising outside all together. Some people live in flats and need to ho on a walk get a bit of fresh air to avoid going stir crazy. He is being unreasonable

pooopypants Sun 05-Apr-20 14:18:36

He's being a knob, a selfish twat who doesn't give a shit about rules or he thinks that they don't apply to him.

And I agree with PP - he has feelings for her. If he didn't, he wouldn't be sat in her garden when he's supposed to stay at home. That part IS relevant to the situation.

pltzsgrrb Sun 05-Apr-20 14:18:59

@recycledbottle I agree.

I think he's being unreasonable no matter whose garden he is planning to sit in it's against the rules. I'd be dumping him for thinking the rules don't apply to him. Self centred people like this make me sick.

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