To be really fuming right now

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

I don’t even know where to start... DP’s nephew (so DPN) lives with us, DP’s dad (with COPD) and our 20mo twins. So far despite some obvious lock-in tension we’ve all been doing quite well to stay indoors, with the exception of occasionally shopping for essentials and DP working as he is a key worker. This morning DPN gets a message from his mother (who lives in the West Country) saying DPN’s dad has decided to leave her house and come jaunting down to London. So of course, DPN decides to go and see him. I was surprised to say the least, he said he would wear gloves and a mask and keep 2m distance the whole time which even then I thought was taking too much of a risk and is quite frankly at this time not essential so not legal. Anyway, five hours later, he’s still out, DP sends him a message saying where are you, DPN has gone to his Dad’s friend’s flat to hang out. WTF?? I’m ranting, I feel helpless and angry. I don’t even know why I’m posting as what advice could anybody possibly give but should I calm down?? I’m not even going to go into the reasons why I don’t like DPN’s dad at the best of times but safe to say he won’t be bothered right now about any laws he’s breaking, lockdown or not.

[FuckingTuiles]

Why doesn't he live with his Dad?

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

He is in his twenties and attending university in London. Although prior to that he decided to live here anyway as he didn’t want to move with his mum out of London. I don’t really want to go into detail for risk of embarrassing anybody but DPN’s dad has only just come back into their lives after a few years away.

[LovingLola]

How old is DPN?

[LovingLola]

Just see his age
I’d send him a message saying not to come home and leave his stuff outside the front door for him.

[HollowTalk]

I would be tempted to tell your nephew he can't come back, but what would he do if you did that?

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

Not so much what he would do as what DP would do. They are best friends for all intents and purposes. DP clearly has a soft spot for him and so he would never do that.

[BunnytheBee]

I’d feel the same but you can’t put him out on the street

I think it would have been better if you’d told DPN before he went that you weren’t comfortable with him socialising or even going to meet his dad while he’s staying with you as he’s putting you all at risk

[sandragreen]

Well DP would have to move out with him then - unless you are choosing him over your twins?

[IgnoranceIsStrength]

I would refuse him entrance. He is 20 something and old enough to be responsible

[Tatum1234]

I’d tell him not to bother coming back. No way would I let him back in the house.

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

@BunnytheBee I said all of that to him. DP tried to as well. He didn’t care.

@sandragreen the house we live in belongs to DP’s dad. I don’t have any right to kick anybody out of here. At least not with anybody’s support.

[MagnoliaJustice]

How was the dad able to come jaunting down to London? Did he drive down? Public transport is for key workers only.

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

@MagnoliaJustice I wish I knew!! He got the train as he can’t drive. I thought they would check reasons for cross-country travel, especially to and from London.

[FabulouslyElegantTits]

Ffs ... what the hell is wrong with some people!

I'm sorry you're in this situation, not much you can do though with it being FILs house

[maddening]

Tell, him. He can fuck off home with his father.

[sandragreen]

You have a DH problem.

[Powerplant]

I know it would be difficult to throw him out but can he isolate in his bedroom for 7 days if he has to come back ?

[LagunaBubbles]

feel the same but you can’t put him out on the street

Of course you can, he has jeopardised the health of everyone in the house!

[BunnytheBee]

I know it would be difficult to throw him out but can he isolate in his bedroom for 7 days if he has to come back?

This.

[Luc1nda]

Twins you say?

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

@Powerplant yes. I can. And I will insist on it. Thank you. Words really can’t describe how angry I am right now. The thing I’m worried about is that I can shout and stomp all I want but if he doesn’t want to, he won’t self isolate.

[Throckmorton]

Is FIL shielding? Depends on how bad his COPD is. If he is, I would go even more mad at DPN

[SamSeabornforPresident]

It's not necessarily the twins I'd be worried about, it's FIL. There's a thread on here where a poster has just lost her FIL, who seemed otherwise healthy. The chances are that he doesn't have it, but surely your DH will agree with you that self isolating in his room is the least DN can do, lest he kills his grandfather. Or he can stay with his father till lockdown is over.

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

@SamSeabornforPresident I think you’re referencing the same thread I’ve been following for days. FIL is the same age as him. It was making me scared to begin with after following that thread and now my anxiety is in overdrive. I love FIL, I see him as my own dad. And my twins, bouncy and healthy and silly as they are, I don’t know how worried to be about them, news about who is affected is all over the place and my default level of worry is through the roof. I feel like I’m crumbling.

[Powerplant]

Then if he won’t listen to you or your DH about self isolating send him to his mum’s - his decision 2 choices. If he can catch the train through London then he can get back to his mother. Good luck