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How annoyed would you be? DD sneaking out in early hours

(54 Posts)
FortunesFave Wed 01-Apr-20 17:31:38

We're in's 2.50 am here. I got woken up by DH's voice at 2.10am because he'd heard 15 year old DD trying to get in through the (locked) front door.

He'd also heard the booming voice of one of her male friends.

She'd snuck out obviously to meet up with him.

We're not on lockdown but there's no school for us...we're meant to be social distancing but the advice is no more than one visitor.

She's a good kid in real bother...she has a lot of freedom and before all this mess, she had a very active social life so is probably missing her mates.

I am annoyed because we got worken up...but also now wondering if she's got a secret boyfriend! DH "thought it was X" by the voice ....he said it sounded like X who is one of her closest mates but he lives miles away....what would you do or say?

HollowTalk Wed 01-Apr-20 17:33:18

Quite honestly, I would go berserk! Can't she see the problem with her going out at that time of night when nobody knows where she is and who she's with?

FortunesFave Wed 01-Apr-20 17:35:32

Hollow She mustn't see it! She has a large but tight group of friends and we live semi rurally so that probably makes things seem safer.

The town we live in is literally one street and then a lot of countryside/farms.

HollowTalk Wed 01-Apr-20 17:38:02

I'm just surprised you were annoyed at being woken, but not at her going out at that time. What did you say to her?

FortunesFave Wed 01-Apr-20 17:40:40

I am annoyed!

FortunesFave Wed 01-Apr-20 17:41:22

I didn't say much because I'm not great when just woken. I said I'd speak to her in the morning. Went back to bed and then couldn't sleep...

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor Wed 01-Apr-20 17:43:24

Annoyed wouldn't describe it, that would be a huge deal for both ds's dad and me if he did that.

Elieza Wed 01-Apr-20 17:47:16

I’d be well pissed off. The message here is clear Stay At Home.

He shouldn’t have been out.

There’s no way they were social distancing. I’d be locking all the doors and windows and taking her key off her. She’s lost the right to hold a key through her own stupidity.

If I knew his parents I would be telling them what happened so they can go on lockdown too in future to stop him going out.

It’s sad when the young ones think they are invincible and swan around doing what they like. Not a care in the world about bringing home a killer disease to their parents and siblings.

MovingBriskyOn Wed 01-Apr-20 17:49:49

You dont go berserk, that doesn't achieve anything.

You sit down all together and you have a discussion. You talk about why you're angry/upset/concerned. She explains why she did what she did and you agree a way forward together

Doubletrouble99 Wed 01-Apr-20 22:15:09

I wouldn't be 'annoyed' at being woken up but at the thought that she had done this at all, being out in the middle of the night with no thought of letting you know where she was. I would be so cross about that. Even if you do live in a rural area, what was she and the other kid thinking of getting up to at that time of night!

lmcneil003 Wed 01-Apr-20 22:38:18

Let her have her freedom. I bet we all did sh1t like that when younger. All thecprudes on here. Jeez...

Elieza Wed 01-Apr-20 22:45:46

@imcneil - are you struggling to understand the message that’s repeated multiple time’s a day - Stay At Home, Save Lives.

You may have done stuff like that when you were younger but considering it’s been 98 years since the last time we had such a prolific killer virus on our soil I’m inclined to think the situations a bit different nowadays than in your youth.

It’s not being prudish btw, it’s being sensible and obeying the law.

Waveysnail Wed 01-Apr-20 22:46:47

Sneaking our in middle of the night. Dangerous and stupid. If you are allowing visitors why does she need to sneak out? I'd be discussing a suitable punishment with her

letsjog Wed 01-Apr-20 22:48:53

Dangerous. What if something happened to her and you had no idea where or who she was with?

Onceateacher Wed 01-Apr-20 22:59:58

I cant imagine being much less annoyed if there was no virus in the picture tbh.
Totally irresponsible behaviour. If she didn't come back you'd have no idea where she was or who with.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Wed 01-Apr-20 23:12:37

I really hope there’s no one vulnerable in your home or you’re not working with/visiting anyone vulnerable. How bad does the virus have to get in your area before you rein your daughter in?

BubblesBuddy Wed 01-Apr-20 23:18:30

If you are allowed one visitor in Oz then presumably you don’t have to stay at home snd their rules are different. However it’s deceitful and not sensible to go out. I would be talking about seeing the boy during the day, if that’s permitted, or looking into Skype.

StoppinBy Wed 01-Apr-20 23:22:36

Actually (and depending where you are) we are in stage 3 restrictions. The only 4 permissible reasons for leaving the house are

To go to work or school - if essential.
To get food - as irregularly as possible.
For medically necessary reasons.
For exercise but no standing around or gathering.

If she was doing something other than that then she was doing the wrong thing.

WeAllHaveWings Wed 01-Apr-20 23:28:53

Your 15 year old child was out somewhere at 2:50am while you were asleep in bed oblivious?

Yikes! Ds would know exactly what I felt about that, a suitable punishment would be given and a very clear message that there would be no repeat.

Imstillskanking Wed 01-Apr-20 23:40:56

I would be absolutely livid. She's really shown herself to be extremely selfish at a time when everyone is doing what they can to contain a deadly virus.

BarbedBloom Wed 01-Apr-20 23:55:06

I used to do this to have sex with my boyfriend of the time as parents would hover round if he was there during the day. I would be annoyed, especially in the current circumstances, but I would also be having the be safe conversation regarding contraception too

willowpatterns Thu 02-Apr-20 00:16:12

I'd be livid anyway, let alone at a time like this.

MrsMop1964 Thu 02-Apr-20 00:24:23

I'd be livid-in fact I was livid when my child did the same a while back. She even did the old 'pillows in the bed' trick like kids do in films. Then to add insult to injury she lost her iphone. The only reason I found out was she came and said 'mum I've fucked up..' because of the phone. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have known.
After being punished-grounded and phone replaced with cheapy embarrassing version it has never happened again, but boy did it shake me because I thought I knew her a lot better than I obviously did.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort Thu 02-Apr-20 00:39:53

Depending what state you're in she could get stuck with a hefty fine for being out for not one of the reasons specified, as it was the middle of the night I doubt the police would have bought she was out for an essential reason.
We might not technically be in lockdown here but she's breaking the law.

Redglitter Thu 02-Apr-20 00:41:17

Let her have her freedom. I bet we all did sh1t like that when younger. All thecprudes on here. Jeez

Ffs what a ridiculous comment. You honestly think in the current climate its acceptable for teenagers to be meeting up. Its fuck all to do with being prudes

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