To want to go home!

[Jenfr23]

I moved to herts 3years ago alone to be with my dh who has a ds from a previous marriage but no other family. His ds is 12 we have a ds who is 9months and im totally fed up of being alone having noone having my ds have noone. I came from scotland from a huge close family who miss us and want us home which is what i want but would it be unreasonable to ask my dh to go with me?!

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

doesnt sound unreasonable at all, esp. if you arent asking him to leave anyone behind, whats tying you there? nothing by the soudns of it!

[hertsnessex]

is there any other mners near you. im in herts.....

[yama]

That's a hard one Jen. If I think of being in your/your ds/your family's shoes I think 'yes move home'.

This, of course is not fair on either your dh or his ds.

Have you mentioned your unhappiness to your dh?

[ledodgy]

I'd say a 12 year old ds was a pretty big tie tbh!

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

i took it that he lived with them

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

am i reading it wrong?

[oregonianabroad]

I'm in a similar situation, although my 'home' is 6000 miles away, so at least you can get to Scotland without a 16 hour flight! (although it might take that long on the train, but that's another story).

All I can say is that the longer we have stayed here, the more settled I feel, and although it has taken me a long time, I am gradually finding more and more people that I can bond with (i.e. freaks).

How often can you get home?

[Jenfr23]

No my partners ds doesnt live with us and since my ds was born its all my dss mother can do to keep them apart one minute he's allowed to come over the next he isnt. I just feel if i let it go on any longer things will get so bad that i'll end up in the loony bin. My dh does know how i feel but i cant bring myself to ask him because i cant expect him to leave his boy behind. Im in a no win situation

[Jenfr23]

I dont know anyone near me unfortunately iv lost all confidence in myself over the past 3years and i cant even face going to baby clinic without my dh im in stevenage btw

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

ah, then it's not so simple....hmm i dont have an answer now sorry! i dont think you are unreasonable but obviously he needs to agree.

how far are your family? would is access to his ds be feasible from that distance?

[Jenfr23]

If we could get his mum to agree we would probably have him more if that makes sense because he would be staying every holiday for the whole of the holiday. My dh see's my point but he has never persued it any further than that. Im scared to push it i mean its alot to ask i guess no one has the answer lol