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To think language is important and traumatised / devastated / ruined are hyperbole

(31 Posts)
GeraldtheGorilla Thu 26-Mar-20 15:41:29

Yes, it’s okay to be deeply disappointed when you or your children are missing out on important events, holidays and milestones. We’re all having to make adjustments and life has changed.

But let’s not overdo i?

LolaSmiles Thu 26-Mar-20 15:48:13

They have their place in language, but some people seem to speak in extremes frequently, so things have to be the best / worst, utterly amazing, absolutely terrifying. It's almost like they are incapable of expressing any emotional comment without using extremes.

Equally, some parents transfer their feelings to their children so when they said their child is devestated to be missing an entirely normal but nice occasion they actually mean that they are bothered by it.

Children are surprisingly resilient in my experience and take their cues from the adults around them. As one of my friends shared on Facebook, our children won't remember the news coverage but they will remember how we behaved.

Bezalelle Thu 26-Mar-20 15:50:04

YANBU.

There's way too much over-dramatisation, but it's clearly the result of the overhyping that comes with commercialism/consumerism.

lidoshuffle Thu 26-Mar-20 15:58:35

A (very nice) young shop assistant kept saying things to me like "It would be amazing if you would put your card in the machine for me", "Wow, that's amazing, you can take it out now".

It made me wonder what she'd exclaim if she were mildly surprised, let alone genuinely amazed; she'd used up all her available vocabulary.

DisneyPlus Thu 26-Mar-20 16:02:47

YANBU, I’m disappointed that my birthday treat for afternoon tea and the theatre has been cancelled and I’m upset that I have to be stuck indoors for at least 12 weeks. Devastated is what I would be if someone I love died due to this virus (or something else).

I think people should express their emotions, it's really important that we don’t bottle it all up but dramatic language isn’t going to get you the support that you need.

CrazylazyJane Thu 26-Mar-20 16:03:40

Ok. I read language as lasagna... not the thread I thought it would be blush

Chillicheese123 Thu 26-Mar-20 16:03:52

Disappointed is the right word @disneyplus

Devastated or traumatized...noooope

ClareBlue Thu 26-Mar-20 16:04:04

Agree. Children's futures are not ruined by the schools being closed for a few months - a terminal illness ruins your future. Missing a birthday party is not devastating it can happen in the future - both parents being killed in a traffic accident is devastating. I think the perspective is hard to get when we genuinely have not experienced this situation before. And whilst we are on this subject there is def over use of the word vile on MN to describe people who are doing something we might not agree with. Even something not very nice is not vile. It undermines when it is appropriate if it is used for every not particularly good thing.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale Thu 26-Mar-20 16:05:59

Yanbu.

LolaSmiles Thu 26-Mar-20 16:08:47

ClareBlue
Can I add the word grim to the MN hyperbole list?

I think it's hilarious when someone shares a cleaning/laundry frequency that is within the varied range of normal and appropriate levels of cleanliness and half a dozen posters insist that it's "grim envy (not envy)"
Eg
Poster 1: Don't worry OP, we wash our clothes when they're smelly or dirty rather than every wear out of principle.
Poster 2: That's just grim. People who say they wash when clothes smell should be aware that you DO smell and everyone can tell. You're just nose blind to your own stench.

iklboo Thu 26-Mar-20 16:09:27

I agree the words being used in these situations undermines their true value.

MargotsLine Thu 26-Mar-20 16:09:35

Someone said this to a friend years ago when they described something quite trivial as horrific, and they said it isn't horrific it is mildly upsetting, horrific is a 5 year old in a burns unit.

ClareBlue Thu 26-Mar-20 16:12:33

@CrazylazyJane well lasagna is important too and I would be devastated if I couldn't have one a least once a week. I think the children would be seriously traumatised too. And being seriously traumatised is so much worse than traumatised but obviously not as bad as really seriously traumatised, which we reserve for when the Wifi is down, which it was for 22 minutes today and I pretty sure that will have catostrophic impacts into the foreseeable future.grin

iheartislesofwight Thu 26-Mar-20 16:13:20

when every thing is 'super' 'i was super excited to get a packet of pasta today' really ?

Gatehouse77 Thu 26-Mar-20 16:15:50

I agree.

Of course there's going to be an affect on the population but the people believing that their children's childhood has been devastated, etc. really wind me up.

You're not living through war.
You're not living through famine.
You're not living through terror.

All those people who lived through years of WW2 weren't completely fucked so why would a few months cause such far reaching damage?

ClareBlue Thu 26-Mar-20 16:19:57

@LolaSmiles the only time I ever heard the word from before MN was in the context 'its grim up north'. This was when I lived in the Yorkshire Dale's with a lovely garden, drove on empty roads to the coast, 20 minutes to an excellent school and had a wide social life with down to earth friends. I used to think if this is grim, then how are they living in the south?

Crackerofdoom Thu 26-Mar-20 17:23:08

I agree OP

My best friend lived through the Balkans conflict as a teenager.

She has told me some of her story and it is pretty horrific but even she says she is grateful because other people suffered far more than she did.

She is in her late 40s now she is one of the most unfazable people I know because no matter how bad things can be at times, it just doesn't compare.

She rolls her eyes and laughs when people talk about the tragedy of kids missing a term of school but I guess we can only deal with what is in front of us.

I have lost a parent as an adult and may lose my mother from CV but even if that happens, I still don't think I would have experienced true tragedy.

We all have our own problems but in reality the vast mjority of us here are unbelievably lucky.

Chillicheese123 Thu 26-Mar-20 21:45:59

@Crackerofdoom interesting because I worked with a girl who was in her 20s same age as me who came to UK aged 18 months or so. Her dad’s whole family was basically shot in Bosnia and her mum’s brother dragged out of a car and shot. Yet they were the loveliest family and so helpful. They were just so grateful for literally anything good in life. I’m sure they had their struggles and I know she had an uncle with bad alcohol problems but honestly she used to say the same, that the worst had happened and they were still together and that was all that mattered . I think that’s a great attitude to have right now.

ViciousJackdaw Thu 26-Mar-20 21:54:24

YANBU. Also, DC are never just 'crying' are they? No, they're all SOBBING!

CrocodileFrock Thu 26-Mar-20 21:54:38

I'd like to add "broken" to the list, particularly when it's being used to describe a person being affected by something.

'This happened and now I'm broken'.

No, you're really not.

Cunninglittlevixen Thu 26-Mar-20 21:59:27

I agree. We're all in this together and words like torture, devastation and heart broken really get on my nerves

roarfeckingroar Thu 26-Mar-20 22:15:41

My favourite thread ever

SoupDragon Thu 26-Mar-20 22:19:13

We're all in this together

No we're not.

We are all in this at least 2m apart. Language is important.

TerrorWig Thu 26-Mar-20 22:40:52

Terrified and horrified are my bugbears. I almost started this exact same thread.

I’m sure I come across as horribly unsympathetic - I probably am tbh - but it really fucking pisses me off. No wonder kids are growing up with so little resilience to the ups and downs of life when their parents are over egging their own emotions at every turn.

HauntedHats Thu 26-Mar-20 22:43:30

Yanbu

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