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Stuck in 24/7 with a disabled child is killing me

(101 Posts)
WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:11:37

Just this.he is severely autistic and has severe learning disabilities his thing is climbing he just wont stop getting on the windows and hitting them furiously with his hands and head, like non stop.soon as I get him off one hes ran into another room and is at it again. Theres no distracting him hes fixated.ive been doing this for five days,his special school has shut.im suffering mentally so much.hes up at 6am every day whacking the windows. God help me.
I have 2 other children my husband is a front line key worker and needs to work.

Backtobacktoback Thu 26-Mar-20 10:20:09

I don’t normally come in to vice my opinion but your post was heart wrenching...are you able to pad the windows in some way, old curtains/tablecloth so it doesn’t sound as loud? Would he do the same if the windows were covered with stickers of his liking?
I’m so sorry you are going through this, i have 3 but none with special needs and am ready to call it a day 2 hours after they wake up so am in awe how you are managing to function. flowers

Mrsjayy Thu 26-Mar-20 10:22:34

First i pressed yabu by mistake very sorry.

That sounds awful i have no words of wisdom is there any support from his school.

Minesacider Thu 26-Mar-20 10:23:56

flowers

This sounds incredibly difficult, OP. I was going to ask the same as backtoback, would covering them up make any difference? I wish I could wave a magic wand for you.

ElfDragon Thu 26-Mar-20 10:25:24

It is so hard.

I’m sorry you’re finding it tough at the moment. My eldest has severe ASD too, and it is so difficult when routines get changed at short notice.

I wish I could offer better support, but do know that you are not alone.

I hope your day gets a little better.

WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:28:36

Hi the school was going to offer a day a week respite but as things have changed its been stopped no advice really but to carry on.he doesn't listen as he doesn't understand he has no speech or understanding. I am shouting then crying then running around after him trying without success to stop him.other kids have been shouted at to to help me or get in trouble when they dont.i know it's wrong they are just kids not his carers .

DitheringDoris Thu 26-Mar-20 10:30:58

Does your school have an emergency email/phone number on their website. My child is at a severe SN school and there is help available to me should I need it. I am receiving an email and phone call a week from his teacher to chat about any problems. School should be supporting you in some way. You cannot continue as you are without support, you will break.

WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:31:10

Theres lots of windows to pad,and I feel lack of light being stuck indoors will be even more detrimental to us all

funnylittlefloozie Thu 26-Mar-20 10:32:12

You are a bloody super-Mum to cope with the challenging behaviour and two other children. Is there ANYTHING he likes and will calm for, even if its something you hate or is destructive?

DitheringDoris Thu 26-Mar-20 10:32:48

Sorry cross posted. Does your child have a social worker, if they don’t now is the time to contact them. You have 2 other children to care for.

x2boys Thu 26-Mar-20 10:33:13

I hear you ,my son also has severe autism and learning disabilities ,it's hard ,very hard,our plan is to sort out Garden out and try and spend as much time in it as possible

Bagelsandbrie Thu 26-Mar-20 10:36:01

I have a child who attends complex needs school and I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Can you get out for a walk? I don’t think anyone would begrudge you that in the circumstances. Indoor trampoline? Cushions on the floor to throw themselves on to? Sounds like he’s trying to get some sort of sensory feedback so I’d try to replace the banging with some sort of other pressure activity if possible. I feel really sorry for you.

Mrsjayy Thu 26-Mar-20 10:38:10

Would you be able to take them out for an half an hour?

Rinsefirst Thu 26-Mar-20 10:43:39

Would you be able to FaceTime any of the staff from his school who could communicate with him for a little while?

BuddhaAtSea Thu 26-Mar-20 10:46:41

Lovely, call your GP? They might think of something for you?

n00bMaster69 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:52:19

Is there a room in the house you could make safe? So you can put him in there for a few mins when you need to.

WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 11:20:42

We are waiting social work help but itll be on a backburner now.

Cunninglittlevixen Thu 26-Mar-20 12:17:23

Sorry to hear what you are going through. Certainly a lot harder than the circumstances of people on their own

WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 14:20:07

As I am stay at home we dont qualify for any help,there will be lots in my situation I imagine ,I cant describe how helpless I feel and how no sight of an end of this makes me feel absolutely depressed

JADS Thu 26-Mar-20 14:36:55

My heart breaks for you. My ds has moderate LD and attends a special school. My husband and I have the week off so we are all at home with his brother. All things he loves - school, trips on the bus, going to ASDA, playgrounds are all off limits to him. He will probably need to go to school next week (both key workers) and I am already terrified of him getting ill.

SEN parents have it tough normally. This is going to be months of shitness. I hope SS help you out soon.

Whatsmyname26 Thu 26-Mar-20 15:19:35

Can you create a safe space for him? A tent in a corner and some sensory toys etc? He sounds really distressed by all the changes sad I have 2 autistic (level 2/moderate rather than 3/severe which I’m guessing your son is) children and one is in his element at being able to stay home but the other is struggling with everything being different and missed groups etc. It’s going to be a long few months I think.

WhatAMum01 Thu 26-Mar-20 18:04:10

I've created a safe space for him but he doesn't really acknowledge it,he hasn't got a favourite anything to be honest, he just runs around non stop all day long completely oblivious,I waited so long for him to start a special needs school in August so I'd get a break,now few months later I'm back to being completely isolated alone and run into the ground with trying to keep him safe and stop him destroying the house.

Lollygaggles Thu 26-Mar-20 18:13:01

How is he in the car OP? I think you could make the case for driving him round for an hour or so if it's in any way calming for him?
Clutching at straws here I know, I can't imagine how draining it is for you. flowers

mamaoffourdc Thu 26-Mar-20 18:18:41

Does he have an ech plan?

curlychocs Thu 26-Mar-20 18:21:19

Phone the local authority. If your school is closed they should be supporting you

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