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AIBU to think people are jealous?

(327 Posts)
cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:15:53

NC for this one!

I work very hard running an online business that has helped a lot of people and gained a lot of traction. I tend to keep it very quiet. I take a very small salary thats not enough to pay bills and I hope one day in the future I can go full time. In the mean time I work part time. I scrape by every month. I try and not tell everyone what I do on the side because I'm a little embarrassed and I find people at my work are put off. If they ask me if I have another job and I tell them briefly about my side hustle, the conversation goes dead, so I change the topic.

Everyone at work seems really friendly and I think people like me. I still feel new, been there just over a year, but get along with everyone. Yet I am still not invited to parties. There are group chats I am not apart of, but people who have started working there in the past three months have been welcomed into. I am the only one. I held my own party and no-one from work came, despite all being invited. Others from outside work came so it wasn't a flop. I am the same age and have a lot on common with these people.

We have all just been put on unpaid leave. Three of my colleagues have posted on Facebook tagging every singe colleague at my workplace on how sad they are that they are no longer working together, except me. Again. Theres no-one I am close enough to ask about it without being worried everyone will find out my concern.

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle. I don't know if people feel as if we're too different because of my side hustle? I have opened up to a friend who has told me I should be so proud of how many people I have helped, but I am not. I am embarrassed. I feel the side hustle makes people feel as if they have nothing in common with me.

I have received a couple of sly comments about it from people at work. Someone suggesting I am going to leave as soon as my side hustle takes off, so i'm not really loyal to the company, another saying I must not have time for friends and family because I work so hard juggling two jobs and dont have the right priorities hmm Just comments I can ignore in the moment but felt really off. This has happened from 5-6 people.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with my personality. I get involved, I am friendly and outgoing. My friend said my colleagues are jealous. Could this be true? There is nothing to be jealous of because what I do is very lonely, hard work, and I have thought about giving in a million times. Or is there likely another problem with me?

I have never had any problems in any other work place. This is the only job I have had since starting my side hustle and the only one I have trouble integrating. If anyone could shed some light it would be appreciated, thank you.

JKScot4 Thu 26-Mar-20 00:18:06

I think you’ll need to say what the side hustle is if that’s what you think puts people off.

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:20:03

it's too outing to give specifics. But it focuses on helping vulnerable people in the community. I can't imagine the nature of the side hustle could be a factor.

TheManFromTheTownHall Thu 26-Mar-20 00:20:14

Why do you call it a side hustle ? Makes it sound a bit dodgy.

Ifigotherewillbedouble Thu 26-Mar-20 00:20:15

What is the side job?

999caffeineplease Thu 26-Mar-20 00:21:10

YABU for calling it a side hustle.

It’s difficult to say when we’ve no idea what your second job is. It could easily be that what you deem to be helping people, they deem to be taking advantage or such like.

AfterSchoolWorry Thu 26-Mar-20 00:21:26

Is it YouTube? Anyway, I wouldn't think people are jealous, you mentioned yourself you're not making much out of it?

Why would they be jealous!? confused

Isawthathaggis Thu 26-Mar-20 00:22:00

So your saying you think you’re colleagues are jealous and they don’t include you in anything because they’ve turned green with envy?

Sounds like you’re better off without them.

I think this whole post would make more sense if you mentioned what your second part-time job was though? Are you helping people to knit? Online hypnotherapy? Over-the-phone medium?
It sort of makes a difference.

DailyKegelReminder Thu 26-Mar-20 00:23:13

Do toy constantly say side hustle? Or refer to yourself as Lady Boss? If not then I cant see why they have an issue. Maybe they are arseholes, maybe they dont want new friends.

DailyKegelReminder Thu 26-Mar-20 00:23:25


cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:24:02

Not influencing. It's a social enterprise. I don't see how anyone could see me to be taking advantage. I don't plan on making big bucks. I used the word side hustle because thats what others have referred to it as and I never questioned it. Does that not mean side business?

CatSmize Thu 26-Mar-20 00:25:01

Oh god, it's not MLM, is it?

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:25:07

@DailyKegelReminder no I play it down. I call it a 'small project on the side'.

ViciousJackdaw Thu 26-Mar-20 00:25:24

YABVVVU to call it a 'side hustle' and even MORE U to use the phrase six times.

Are you an MLM bot by any chance?

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:25:28

@CatSmize no it is not

JKScot4 Thu 26-Mar-20 00:26:01

Your ‘side hustle’ is helping vulnerable people? this is usually voluntarily not a money maker.
If you do want an opinion you will need to give details as it’s clear that this is the issue.
It’s only outing if you’re the only person doing it and your colleagues are here.

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:27:22

@ViciousJackdaw I explained before I used the word side hustle because I thought it was interchangeable for side business. I'm sorry I got this wrong I didn't know this was a 'dodgy word'. I haven't ever used it in person, I only say 'small project on the side.'

CatSmize Thu 26-Mar-20 00:31:14

FWIW, that Facebook thing wasn't kind and would upset me too. I understand why you don't want to say what you do but it's difficult for us to give feedback without knowing how envious your side business is likely to make people!

That said, I doubt jealousy is the reason. It's just something friends say to make you feel better blush

WorraLiberty Thu 26-Mar-20 00:32:05

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle.

I don't know you so obviously I can't say for definite this is the case but generally speaking it takes about 2 months to get to know a colleague and know whether you like them as a person, and/or like them as someone to work alongside.

Out of my 14 colleagues there are 2 who most of us came to realise after about two months, were really not team players and not particularly nice people.

So I don't think anyone on here could say whether it's jealousy or whether they just don't like you personally or professionally if that makes sense?

I have one colleague who I dread working with but would (and have) get on really well with in the pub for example. Equally I have one who I would have nothing in common with outside of work but I love working with them as they're so methodical.

DailyKegelReminder Thu 26-Mar-20 00:33:31

I dont know then OP. When people are doing nice things for others, some can get quite sarky about it.

Do they expect you to make lots of money from this? Is it starting to become well known?

WorraLiberty Thu 26-Mar-20 00:34:13

That said, I doubt jealousy is the reason. It's just something friends say to make you feel better

Yes, sometimes it's the 'lazy' thing to say and sometimes it's when a friend doesn't want to tell you how they can see you rub people up the wrong way.

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:38:49

@CatSmize I really don't think it's likely to make people envious. Theres nothing glamorous about it.

@WorraLiberty I really can't think of any reason why they wouldn't get on with me. I have been there a year and the nature of my work means none of us spend a great deal of time together and they don't have to work with me, we all work fairly independently and my performance doesn't effect them. They all seem to really like me in person aswell. I have a lot of friends outside of work. I would say I am a team player. I may be bias, but I really can't think of a reason all of them wouldn't like me personally or professionally.

DailyKegelReminder Thu 26-Mar-20 00:39:46

Or maybe your talk of project on the side waiting to blow up, is in some way insulting to the people at your part time work, who do it full time for a living? Almost like "yeah this will do til I'm rich"

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:42:11

@DailyKegelReminder yes they are sarky. And the project has gained media attention and floods of compliments on Facebook from friends which I find really embarrassing. No comments from anyone at work but I don't expect that.

@WorraLiberty I have really thought about it, and if it is the case I can't think what it is, as I have never had a problem before and other than friendly chats here and there, unless people ask, I keep a lot to myself.

cherrypieandcheese Thu 26-Mar-20 00:43:59

@DailyKegelReminder I could see why that would annoy them if I did, but I don't. I don't mention it unless someone pry's. I also really enjoy my job.

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