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for not canceling weekend plans for BIL

(10 Posts)
joopie Mon 10-Sep-07 16:41:12

my BIL (aka worzel gummidge/wayne slobb) phoned dh this morning and asked to come and stay at the end of the month so he and dh can go out for a piss up(bil lives 200 miles away). we made plans weeks ago to go and see my family(also 200 miles away) and all sorts of things have been planned and arranged whilst we are there.
when dh told bil that we already have plans, bil said dh should send me on my own and when i stamped that idea out bil said dh should tell my parents to go f*ck themselvesshock, when dh still refused bil told dh to grow a pair!!angry i am so angry at his selfish toddler tantrum attitude because he can't go out for a piss up with dh that i am considering a ban on bil ever staying here.AIBU?

theressomethingaboutmarie Mon 10-Sep-07 16:51:29

don't put a ban in place as he will use it as ammo to say that you are unreasonable. Treat him like the c*ck that he obviously is however grin

lojomojo Mon 10-Sep-07 16:52:58

Your Bil is a tw*t, but don't ban him from your house because that will make you look hmm and lets face it your the adult here and unfortunately for your bil isn't an adult .... and is very unlikely to ever grow up to be one.

cornsilk Mon 10-Sep-07 16:53:27

He sounds like a real charmer.

crokky Mon 10-Sep-07 16:54:32

BIL needs to understand that it is DH's decision for him not to stay as he clearly thinks you are controlling DH.

He sounds a bit like my BIL - he can't grow up (my BIL is 40 next yr!) and when his brother grows up, he thinks that poor brother is under wifey's thumb!

joopie Mon 10-Sep-07 17:10:10

his family do think i control dh, but the truth is dh has a really hard time saying no to his family, something ive never had a problem with! so its easier on dh's stress levels if he pretends he's asked me and ive said no.
bil is just not used to being told no, especially by a strong willed woman.

im still considering banning him, but in the sneaky kind of way. eg, we have plans, we already have people staying that w/end etc etc.

cushioncover Mon 10-Sep-07 17:15:10

Ideally, when your BIL suggested you go alone, your DH should have said no to that straight away rather than come back to you on that. That just flames the argument that you make all the decisions.

Your BIL sounds like a d*ck. YANBU

joopie Mon 10-Sep-07 17:23:27

i think its just become habit now to ask me everything, i don't know what he said to bil when he suggested i go on my own.
the trouble with my dh is he seems to think that if he says no to his family they will curl up and die or something, they are very whingy and manipulative especially bil and sil.

well ive said no and bil will have to like it or lump it.

michymama Mon 10-Sep-07 17:26:23

YANBU he sounds like a complete knob, just like my BIL ! Agree with the others though about not banning him from your house. If he's anything like my BIL he'll just twist it round to make u look bad. My DH's family think I control dh, I don't its just they are used to taking advantage of him and they too aren't used to a strong woman !! If dh is fine with u they take no notice of them.

joopie Mon 10-Sep-07 17:54:03


my situation is just like yours, they were used to having cash handouts and dh running to their beck and call, then i came along and soon put a stop to it, they hate me and tried to break us up.

i don't care what they think, bil is still being banned, im not having my parents, who have done sooo much for dh and i, disrespected and slagged off like that because bil wants to go for beer and has been denied.

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