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Teacher didn’t let my DD go to the toilet

(170 Posts)
starlight86 Tue 03-Mar-20 17:54:17

My DD is in primary 1 and just turned 5.

She asked to go to the toilet close to home time and was told no. She subsequently wet herself and was too scared to tell the teacher (not her usual teacher and apparently this music teacher is scary) she came out in tears and soaking wet.

Her papa was the one picking her up so called me later as I was at work to tell me and the school had already closed.

I always thought they had to allow a child that young to go when asked?
I’ll be calling school tomorrow but I’m feeling really angry about it, however I will be calm when I call them.

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Lordfrontpaw Tue 03-Mar-20 18:00:21

Exactly the thing happened to me when I was 4!

I managed to put my pee covered chair up onto my desk at the end of the day and squelched home.

Lulu1919 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:01:34

Please ask the class teacher her 'side'
They might have said...can you just hold in a telling class something important
I'm not saying your child isn't telling the truth but sometimes things can get mixed up !!
Hope she's ok

Liverbird77 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:01:59

Totally unacceptable. She's so little. I would certainly raise it.

Symbollove Tue 03-Mar-20 18:02:46

Speak to that teacher tomorrow and also raise it with the head of year, that's not on, I would be furious if that happened with my child. Young children can't hold in the pee for long especially when they need it really bad

starlight86 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:04:56

@Lulu1919 no your 100% right. I won’t go in all guns blazing or anything like that.
My DD is a good wee thing so I know she’s not lying but aware the teacher might have said can you wait a wee second.
DD does tend to wait until the last possible second also which we are working on x

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Pentium85 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:05:18


Exactly this.

And also, if we let every child go to the loo who asked, you do realise very often we would be left with no pupils in the class because they all want to go?

We can’t say yes all the time. If it’s home time in 5 minutes, chances are we will say “not right now, hold it for a few minutes until the bell goes”

WorraLiberty Tue 03-Mar-20 18:05:41

If she came out in tears and soaking wet, why didn't her dad say something to staff at the time?

Seems a bit odd to phone you and work and tell you about it instead confused

WorraLiberty Tue 03-Mar-20 18:06:02

*at work

Yummymummy2020 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:06:27

I would be so annoyed about this, she should have been allowed to go the toilet that’s very poor form. I understand young kids can ask to go a lot, but they also can’t hold it in aswell as we can either.

Skittlesss Tue 03-Mar-20 18:06:50

My daughter had problems with a teacher not letting them to go the loo when she was around the same age. I spoke to the teacher who said that some kids messed around in the toilets or didn’t go at break, so if she didn’t think the child “needed” it then she wouldn’t let them go. I told her that that’s fine, if she thinks DD has done that but to note that I’ve also told DD that if she is that desperate, and is told no, then she is to walk out of the class and go to the loo (the loo was through a door just outside of the classroom - linked by a cloakroom).

slipperywhensparticus Tue 03-Mar-20 18:07:36

If its home time why wouldn't you let them go? Genuinely 🤷‍♀️ in our school.theylet them dash back in if they need to go because they are young kids

starlight86 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:09:01

@WorraLiberty sorry to be clear her papa is her grandfather.

I don’t think he really knew how to handle it at the time so just called me. He also had to go round the the other door to pick up her big sister who’s in Primary 2.

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WorraLiberty Tue 03-Mar-20 18:10:14

Ahh I see. I wouldn't have expected her grandfather to deal with it really either.

Pentium85 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:10:36


If it’s 5 mins before home time that is normally in our school when important info etc is being read out so we are likely to say no

toothfairy73 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:11:03

This happened to my sister 41 years ago. She had a urine infection and my mum had already told her that if she asked to go she needed to go. My mum went in and wiped the floor with her. I'm shocked it's still happening now.

Pentium85 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:12:58

For all those saying the teacher was unreasonable, I’m genuinely curious as to what the Solution is when 7 children all ask to go to the loo at the same time?

noblegiraffe Tue 03-Mar-20 18:14:53

Please don’t share stories about young kids wetting themselves at school.

We get this a lot on here.

NailsNeedDoing Tue 03-Mar-20 18:15:23

How close to home time?

I can imagine a situation in my school where a child asked to go while they were lining up ready to go home, and I’d either have to say no so that I could safely dismiss the other children, or make all the other children and their parents/collectors late, or allow that child to stay in the classroom (with toilets in) alone, which isn’t really an option.

Hopefully this will help your dd learn that waiting until the last minute to ask to go isn’t a great idea.

okiedokieme Tue 03-Mar-20 18:16:12

It does depend on whether it's 5 mins until home time or break was literally 2 mins earlier and she didn't go then, but they are little kids so teachers need to explain this to them of course

monkeypigsysandy Tue 03-Mar-20 18:17:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rainbowshine Tue 03-Mar-20 18:17:52

I’m more bothered that this teacher is described as scary. Where’s that come from? Are they stricter than the usual teacher, in which case does that give out mixed messages to the children about going to the toilet because usual teacher says “oh it’s DdStarlight who always leaves it a bit late” but music teacher is more “you have 5 minutes and then can go”? My DS was always doing this last minute dash in reception, the TA and teacher knew who was like that so they would encourage loo stops at breaks in the first place and then when asked knew the ones who would have to go and which ones they could say can you hold it in?

slashlover Tue 03-Mar-20 18:18:07

Could teacher have been worried about her getting to the toilet and back before the bell? If she had been in the toilet then it might have been a safeguarding risk to have her wandering around.

ASandwichNamedKevin Tue 03-Mar-20 18:18:20

@Pentium85 what year group do you teach?
The school I'm involved with Reception and Year 1 have to put their hand up and say they need the loo then make their way there. The loos are adjacent to the classroom. If multiple kids ask they queue.

starlight86 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:18:54

I’m really not sure how close it was to home time. I’m assuming it’s close because she said she wet herself while she was zipping up her jacket to go home, but she had asked while they were sitting down.
The reason I wouldn’t go in guns blazing is maybe they have a decent reason however I don’t think it’s acceptable as she is still young and would only ask if she really needed to go.

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