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To be upset that he's Constantly comparing me to his gf?

(58 Posts)
sadnessx Fri 28-Feb-20 22:44:57

So my ex husband who I have children with is always making sly digs towards me about how different and better his gf is and it's really getting me down. Last week he said to me that his gf paints her house all by herself without the help of him and why can't I paint my house myself and said I make excuses not to. Then this week he goes on to say that his gf washes her sons ( not his child) uniform every single night and said why can't I wash our sons uniform every single night. He's always making me feel like a failure and that she's better mum than me. I'm just so down and depressed about it.

UnRavellingFast Fri 28-Feb-20 22:48:56

He’s winding you up. Just don’t show you’re upset by this and it’ll stop. It’s like a toddler who has discovered that saying a swear word gets everyone het up. They are excited by the reaction. Don’t hand him his stupid ‘fun’ on a plate. Just say you don’t have time to talk as you need to get ready for something. Seem to barely notice what he says. Like the toddler deprived of drama, he will soon stop.

Iooselipssinkships Fri 28-Feb-20 22:49:34

It's probably all bullshit anyway. It sounds like he's doing it on purpose to upset you, remember why he's an ex and don't give him the power to make you doubt yourself.
You should reply with it's a shame she's got such a shit boyfriend then considering how amazing she is.

Freddiefox Fri 28-Feb-20 22:51:03

Just ignore him, smile and nod. Or
Better still email contact only.

Honeyroar Fri 28-Feb-20 22:51:51

Tell him she sounds amazing - isn’t he worried she’ll see the real side of him soon and bin him?

TheMustressMhor Fri 28-Feb-20 22:53:13

Oh that's horrible of him.

He obviously knows how to upset you, OP. He does sound very childish. Just keep telling yourself how much better off you are without him.

If it's any consolation, he sounds like the sort of dickhead who would be telling his girlfriend how much better you were at doing various things.

Do your best to pay no attention whatsoever. You are so much better off without this sort of loser.


grudieabbey Fri 28-Feb-20 22:53:42

Thank god he is an ex. He is doing this to be unkind and cause you to feel bad. Class A wanker. Know this about him just act oblivious. It loses all venom in what he is doing as there is no reaction. You don’t care. You don’t give a shit about him and don’t know his GF. He could say saying ‘purple is a colour I once saw on a wall’ - just inane babble.

MakeItRain Fri 28-Feb-20 22:54:13

Well as for the painting it's presumably none of his business what you do inside your own home. So I would just breezily respond that you're happy with your home thank you.

Uniform doesn't need washing every night unless it's getting filthy every day. Just say something like "I'm lucky ds doesn't need it washing every day".

Don't take it to heart. He's obviously not quite over your relationship or he wouldn't be interested in comparing you to his current gf. Try to respond as if you don't really care what he thinks. flowers

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 28-Feb-20 22:54:28

Neither of those things are important to a child. Is your boy housed, fed, occupied and loved? If so, you’re a good mum. FWIW, good dads do not undermine good mums.

If you can’t ignore him, go with a bland response like “that’s nice” and “yes, you said”.

SebastienCrabSauce Fri 28-Feb-20 22:56:02

I’d be tempted to play him at his own game...
“The house is so tidy these days without all your mess”
“Steve next door is such a good dad he does (insert whatever your ex fails to do”
“My new vibrator can go for longer than 3 mins and actually makes me orgasm”

TaliZorahVasNormandy Fri 28-Feb-20 22:57:03

Get a new man and tell him that new man has a bigger dick.

Dont really, just ignore him and be thankful he aint your problem now.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Fri 28-Feb-20 22:58:09

Tell him your new bloke has a bigger dick. (Even if you don’t have a new bloke.)

Mumoftwoyoungkids Fri 28-Feb-20 22:58:50

Great minds Tali!

Scabetty Fri 28-Feb-20 22:59:05

Ask him if his cock has grown as you can’t think why she’d be with such an immature wanker otherwise.

BelieveInPeople Fri 28-Feb-20 22:59:08

Does he paint his house and wash his child’s uniform every night? No? thought not, so he can’t think it’s that important. These are not things to measure your worth against, ignore him!

HollowTalk Fri 28-Feb-20 23:00:03

Just say, "Doesn't she mind that you're so lazy?" and "Doesn't she mind doing it all herself while you sit there doing nothing?"

She'll soon get fed up of him, OP, and he'll be left talking to himself.

Thehop Fri 28-Feb-20 23:00:08

Agree with him!

“God does she? She sounds amazing can she paint here too?” Feel free to add “the guy who lived here before did fuck all haha!”

“Every night? She washes his uniform. Wow she’s ace can she do our laundry?!” Or “god she’s really putting off going to bed isn’t she? Haha!”

NotStayingIn Fri 28-Feb-20 23:04:39

If he uses the opportunities you are together to have little digs I would try and really minimise any contact.

But in order to cope with it whilst it is happening, just think, he cares that much he is taking the time to have a dig. Sad. Remind yourself that you care so little, you don’t give a shit about anything he says.

I would go with a very bored, whatever response. Anything that requires any more effort would be beneath me.

Thelnebriati Fri 28-Feb-20 23:06:07

You know its pathetic that he needs to do this to feel good about himself, right?

Candyfloss99 Fri 28-Feb-20 23:07:35

Why are you speaking to him so much? Just ignore him and put the phone down/ close the door/ walk away.

onemorerose Fri 28-Feb-20 23:08:57

I’m loving the response from @Thehop that she’s really putting off going to bed grin

EmmiJay Fri 28-Feb-20 23:09:18

"Oh! She'd rather do all that housework and decorating than spend her days in bed with you?! I am shocked!" 🤣☻

TorkTorkBam Fri 28-Feb-20 23:09:53

Why are you standing around chatting with your ex?

The best thing about an ex is not having to talk to him. Don't make yourself available for chat.

Chloemol Fri 28-Feb-20 23:12:54

Just ignore, or say that’s nice in true Mrs Brown mode

HisValentine Fri 28-Feb-20 23:13:37

I'd reply with "obviously she doesn't have as much to do as me, being on my own with your child."

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