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Was this weird at best - possibly triggering

(103 Posts)
MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:16:06

20 odd years ago I had just found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my DD.

I went to the GP (in NZ) to confirm the pregnancy I guess and my EXH was there.

GP was a guy about 55/60 (don’t know if this is relevant) and I was 23.

He insisted on giving me an internal examination (I was about 7/8 weeks pregnant) while my ex watched (no curtain or anything) but (this is the weird bit) the GP made me lie on my side and put the speculum in from behind (so my arse was facing Ex) while explaining to Ex that this way was a lot easier.

To this day it makes me feel really yuck and at the time I felt like the GP was getting off in this.

Firstly the examination was totally unnecessary and the way he did it was almost pervy?

Has anyone else ever had an examination like that?

Have I over thought this?

jackstini Fri 28-Feb-20 20:20:30

Sorry this happened to you OP

I have never experienced this, through 2 full term pregnancies, missed miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, EPU internal scans, D&C etc.

Sounds very wrong to me unfortunately sad

BackOnThatRollerCoaster Fri 28-Feb-20 20:24:21

That sounds very odd, have never had an examination like that. But I know what you mean about over thinking. When I wanted to go on the pill the doctor gave me an internal examination, I was a virgin and had told him this.
Still not sure why he did it. I often think about it too.

73kittycat73 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:25:42

I once saw a doctor about piles, and he made me lie this way too, to have a look at them. No nurse around or anyone else. I always felt pretty weird about it. This was in the UK, about 1993/4. Sorry you have been through it. flowers

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:25:48

It’s when you leave the room feeling a bit “violated” isn’t it? sad

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 28-Feb-20 20:25:49

It doesn't seem right to meflowers. Well I never had an interna l except for when they were seeing how far I was dialated.

OldTownRoadHome Fri 28-Feb-20 20:26:05

I’m not sure why you would have needed an internal or what exactly that would show a Dr. Sounds all kinds of wrong to me, I’m sorry.

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:27:40

I remember at the time I mentioned it to ex and he said he felt it was weird.

I have only been examined by 1 male doctor since then and he had a chaperone.

frazzledasarock Fri 28-Feb-20 20:28:23

Only time I’ve ever had an internal in early pregnancy was when I was bleeding and they needed to check cervix.

I’ve never had a speculum inserted from behind. And my eldest is late teens.

My mums go would just examine stomach and tell her she was pregnant. Apparently he was never wrong.

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:32:57

I have been pregnant 5 times and this is this only time this ever happened too.

I wish I could remember his name and Google him to see if he was ever accused.

Herpesfreesince03 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:38:23

Can’t you google the surgery op? If a doctor had been publicly accused or prosecuted from there, it should come up

TabbyMumz Fri 28-Feb-20 20:40:05

This way is perfectly normal, it does make it easier.

73kittycat73 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:41:42

It’s when you leave the room feeling a bit “violated” isn’t it?

Absolutely. It felt very wrong at the time, and it still does today if I think about it. You feel humiliated don't you? Anyway, I'm sorry you went through what you did.

TabbyMumz Fri 28-Feb-20 20:44:06

Smear tests are often done like this. It makes it hurt less.

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:45:31

I have never felt pain during a smear test done in the “missionary” position.

Fimat Fri 28-Feb-20 20:48:12

So sorry op, I’ve been through so much fertility treatment and early pregnancies and the only reason they ever did internals was to use a transvaginal scan. I had a high risk c section and was never ever examined internally. Maybe if you said you’d had cervix issues( spots removed etc) I could understand but why he needed to go from behind. I’m so sorry you were violated like that xx

Whichoneofyoudidthat Fri 28-Feb-20 20:48:19

easier? I’m not a doctor but surely it’s not that difficult that it needs to be made easier? I’ve never heard of it being performed in that manner, and I’ve never had an internal during any pregnancy.

What a creep.

TabbyMumz Fri 28-Feb-20 20:48:37


At least two weeks after your missed period, your doctor can examine youinternallytocheckfor changes in your uterus and cervix (the lowest part of your uterus (womb)). When you arepregnant, your doctor will be able to tell that your cervix has changed colour and is softer"

Wasnt hard to google this.

ATowelAndAPotato Fri 28-Feb-20 20:52:01

I’ve also had a smear test done this way, recently and by a female nurse.

Not that it means anything in relation to why you needed to be examined, but I suppose the side position, etc is not totally unusual.

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:52:04

I had done a pregnancy test - I didn’t need him to examine me, I knew I was pregnant, it was my 2nd child.

Wasnt hard to google this

Why so aggressive?

Smileyaxolotl1 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:53:28

73 kittycat I’m pretty sure that is normal for rectal examinations.

Tabby* I’ve never heard of it for vaginal ones. What makes you so sure it is common/normal?

lateSeptember1964 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:54:49

As a student midwife in the late 80’s I often worked with older midwifes who would deliver the babies in this position. Known as left lateral it was not unusual if they were trained in the 1940’s and 50’s. we still use left lateral for examining for prolapses. I suspect it was related to his training. No curtains was very odd but I think he made an assumption that it was ok. Don’t want to minimise but left lateral is not unusual.

Barney77 Fri 28-Feb-20 20:57:26

Depends on where someone’s cervix sits and how relaxed they are about the exam. If they are struggling to relax and keep clenching then doing it this way helps them not to push through their feet iyswim? And if you have a retriverted interim and an anterior cervix it is much easier to get at it this way. When doing smears finding the cervix in a few people can be really tricky.

MadameBee Fri 28-Feb-20 20:58:40

He didn’t try it any other way - I delivered all my children on all fours yes.

TabbyMumz Fri 28-Feb-20 20:59:47

"Wasnt hard to google this"

Why so aggressive?

Not aggressive at all? I dont think its unusual to have an internal examination and a quick google gives a good explanation. He would have asked for your ex to be present as chaperone, as they are not supposed to do this sort of thing alone with you in the room. I get my smears done like this every time..its easier. I dont see how its pervy at all. He was carrying out a medical examination.

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